The-School--by-Donald-Barthelme

TheSchool,byDonaldBarthelmeWell,wehadallthesechildrenoutplantingtrees,see,becausewefiguredthat...thatwaspartoftheireducation,toseehow,youknow,therootsystems...andalsothesenseofresponsibility,takingcareofthings,beingindividuallyresponsible.YouknowwhatImean.Andthetreesalldied.Theywereorangetrees.Idon'tknowwhytheydied,theyjustdied.Somethingwrongwiththesoilpossiblyormaybethestuffwegotfromthenurserywasn'tthebest.Wecomplainedaboutit.Sowe'vegotthirtykidsthere,eachkidhadhisorherownlittletreetoplantandwe'vegotthesethirtydeadtrees.Allthesekidslookingattheselittlebrownsticks,itwasdepressing.Itwouldn'thavebeensobadexceptthatjustacoupleofweeksbeforethethingwiththetrees,thesnakesalldied.ButIthinkthatthesnakes-well,thereasonthatthesnakeskickedoffwasthat...youremember,theboilerwasshutoffforfourdaysbecauseofthestrike,andthatwasexplicable.Itwassomethingyoucouldexplaintothekidsbecauseofthestrike.Imean,noneoftheirparentswouldletthemcrossthepicketlineandtheyknewtherewasastrikegoingonandwhatitmeant.Sowhenthingsgotstartedupagainandwefoundthesnakestheyweren'ttoodisturbed.Withtheherbgardensitwasprobablyacaseofoverwatering,andatleastnowtheyknownottooverwater.Thechildrenwereveryconscientiouswiththeherbgardensandsomeofthemprobably...youknow,slippedthemalittleextrawaterwhenweweren'tlooking.Ormaybe...well,Idon'tliketothinkaboutsabotage,althoughitdidoccurtous.Imean,itwassomethingthatcrossedourminds.Wewerethinkingthatwayprobablybecausebeforethatthegerbilshaddied,andthewhitemicehaddied,andthesalamander...well,nowtheyknownottocarrythemaroundinplasticbags.Ofcourseweexpectedthetropicalfishtodie,thatwasnosurprise.Thosenumbers,youlookatthemcrookedandthey'rebelly-uponthesurface.Butthelessonplancalledforatropicalfishinputatthatpoint,therewasnothingwecoulddo,ithappenseveryyear,youjusthavetohurrypastit.Weweren'tevensupposedtohaveapuppy.Weweren'tevensupposedtohaveone,itwasjustapuppytheMurdochgirlfoundunderaGriselda’struckonedayandshewasafraidthetruckwouldrunoveritwhenthedriverhadfinishedmakinghisdelivery,soshestuckitinherknapsackandbroughtittotheschoolwithher.Sowehadthispuppy.AssoonasIsawthepuppyIthought,OhChrist,Ibetitwillliveforabouttwoweeksandthen...Andthat'swhatitdid.Itwasn'tsupposedtobeintheclassroomatall,there'ssomekindofregulationaboutit,butyoucan'ttellthemtheycan'thaveapuppywhenthepuppyisalreadythere,rightinfrontofthem,runningaroundonthefloorandyapyapyapping.TheynameditEdgar-thatis,theynameditafterme.Theyhadalotoffunrunningafteritandyelling,Here,Edgar!NiceEdgar!Thenthey'dlaughlikehell.Theyenjoyedtheambiguity.Ienjoyeditmyself.Idon'tmindbeingkidded.Theymadealittlehouseforitinthesupplyclosetandallthat.Idon'tknowwhatitdiedof.Distemper,Iguess.Itprobablyhadn'thadanyshots.Igotitoutoftherebeforethekidsgottoschool.Icheckedthesupplycloseteachmorning,routinely,becauseIknewwhatwasgoingtohappen.Igaveittothecustodian.AndthentherewasthisKoreanorphanthattheclassadoptedthroughtheHelptheChildrenprogram,allthekidsbroughtinaquarteramonth,thatwastheidea.Itwasanunfortunatething,thekid'snamewasKimandmaybeweadoptedhimtoolateorsomething.Thecauseofdeathwasnotstatedintheletterwegot,theysuggestedweadoptanotherchildinsteadandsentussomeinterestingcasehistories,butwedidn'thavetheheart.Theclasstookitprettyhard,theybegan(Ithink,nobodyeversaidanythingtomedirectly)tofeelthatmaybetherewassomethingwrongwiththeschool.ButIdon'tthinkthere'sanythingwrongwiththeschool,particularly,I'veseenbetterandI'veseenworse.Itwasjustarunofbadluck.Wehadanextraordinarynumberofparentspassingaway,forinstance.TherewereIthinktwoheartattacksandtwosuicides,onedrowning,andfourkilledtogetherinacaraccident.Onestroke.Andwehadtheusualheavymortalityrateamongthegrandparents,ormaybeitwasheavierthisyear,itseemedso.Andfinallythetragedy.ThetragedyoccurredwhenMatthewWeinandTonyMavrogordowereplayingoverwherethey'reexcavatingforthenewfederalofficebuilding.Therewereallthesebigwoodenbeamsstacked,youknow,attheedgeoftheexcavation.There'sacourtcasecomingoutofthat,theparentsareclaimingthatthebeamswerepoorlystacked.Idon'tknowwhat'strueandwhat'snot.It'sbeenastrangeyear.IforgottomentionBillyBrandt'sfatherwhowasknifedfatallywhenhegrappledwithamaskedintruderinhishome.Oneday,wehadadiscussioninclass.Theyaskedme,wheredidtheygo?Thetrees,thesalamander,thetropicalfish,Edgar,thepoppasandmommas,MatthewandTony,wheredidtheygo?AndIsaid,Idon'tknow,Idon'tknow.Andtheysaid,whoknows?andIsaid,nobodyknows.Andtheysaid,isdeaththatwhichgivesmeaningtolife?AndIsaidno,lifeisthatwhichgivesmeaningtolife.Thentheysaid,butisn'tdeath,consideredasafundamentaldatum,themeansbywhichthetaken-for-grantedmundanityoftheeverydaymaybetranscendedinthedirectionof-Isaid,yes,maybe.Theysaid,wedon'tlikeit.Isaid,that'ssound.Theysaid,it'sabloodyshame!Isaid,itis.Theysaid,willyoumakelovenowwithHelen(ourteachingassistant)sothatwecanseehowitisdone?WeknowyoulikeHelen.IdolikeHelenbutIsaidthatIwouldnot.We'veheardsomuchaboutit,theysaid,butwe'veneverseenit.IsaidIwouldbefiredandthatitwasnever,oralmostnever,doneasademonstration.Helenlookedoutthewindow.Theysaid,please,pleasemakelovewith