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MorePraiseforTheFourConversations“ThisworkbyJeffreyandLaurieFordiscompelling.Whilethereismuchliteratureonthecontentofeffectivemanagement—theconcepts,models,vocabulary,andacronyms—thereisalmostnothingontheconversationalcompetenceessentialtobeinganeffectivemanager,leader,orexecutive.Recognizingandbeingadeptwiththesefourcon-versationsiscrucialforanyonewhoaspirestoeffectivemanagement.”—BrianStuhlmuller,Partner,Distinctions,Inc.,andformerCEO,MissionControlProductivity,Inc.,andMediMediaInformationTechnologies“I’vegotnothingbutpraiseforthisbook.Literally,frombeginningtoend,Iwasimpressedwiththeconcrete,real-lifescenariostheauthorsusedtodemonstratetheirpoints.Thisisgood,solidmate-rial,presentedinawaythatclearlycommunicatesthevalueofusingfourtypesofconversationsconsciouslyanddeliberately.Asaman-agermyself,I’vegotaninitiativeconversationinmindformynextweeklystaffmeeting.”—ChrisLee,Editor,MidwestHomemagazine,andformerEditor-in-Chief,Trainingmagazine“TheFourConversationsoffersinsightandclarityaboutthewaywespeaktooneanother.Itsperceptiveobservationsandreal-lifeexam-plesarevaluableinenhancingdailycommunicationwithfriendsandfamilyandindispensabletoanyoneattemptingtransformativechange.”—CherylRoberto,Commissioner,PublicUtilitiesCommissionofOhio“Thisbookcapturesthecriticalelementsofmeaningfulworkplaceconversationinawaythatwillhelpmanagerscommunicatemoreeffectively.TheFourConversationsisfilledwithexamplesthatwillimprovebothperformanceandengagement.”—CindyVentrice,authorofMakeTheirDay!EmployeeRecog-nitionThatWorksThispageintentionallyleftblankTheFourConversationsThispageintentionallyleftblankTheFourConversationsDailyCommunicationThatGetsResultsJeffreyFordandLaurieFordTheFourConversationsCopyright©2009byJeffreyFordandLaurieFordAllrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,distrib-uted,ortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,includingphotocopying,recording,orotherelectronicormechanicalmethods,withoutthepriorwrit-tenpermissionofthepublisher,exceptinthecaseofbriefquotationsembodiedincriticalreviewsandcertainothernoncommercialusespermittedbycopyrightlaw.Forpermissionrequests,writetothepublisher,addressed“Attention:PermissionsCoordinator,”attheaddressbelow.Berrett-KoehlerPublishers,Inc.235MontgomeryStreet,Suite650SanFrancisco,California94104-2916Tel:[phone],Fax:[phone]“SpecialSalesDepartment”attheBerrett-Koehleraddressabove.Individualsales.Berrett-Koehlerpublicationsareavailablethroughmostbookstores.TheycanalsobeordereddirectlyfromBerrett-Koehler:Tel:[phone];Fax:[phone];:Tel:[phone];Fax:[phone].OrdersbyU.S.tradebookstoresandwholesalers.PleasecontactIngramPublisherServices,Tel:[phone];Fax:[phone];E-mail:[e-mail];orvisit:FourConversationsinaSuccessfulWorkplace1TheImportanceofConversations3SomeConversationsSlowThingsDown,OthersSpeedThingsUp6SixLimitationstoaSuccessfulWorkplace22Conversations:YourPersonalAdvantage29KeyPoints29ChapterTwo:InitiativeConversations:CreateaFuture31LeadersHaveInitiativeConversations32ChooseYourInitiativeStatement:What-When-Why40PrepareforYourInitiativeConversation:Who-Where-How46LaunchYourInitiativeConversation49IfYouAreMissingInitiativeConversations53PuttingItintoPractice56ChapterThree:UnderstandingConversations:IncludeandEngage59HelpPeopleFindaPositiveMeaninginYourMessage60ExpandandDeepenParticipation68TheLimitsofUnderstanding82IfYouAreMissingUnderstandingConversations90PuttingItintoPractice94ChapterFour:PerformanceConversations:AskandPromise97CommittoPerformance:What-When-Why99AskOtherstoCommit105PromisesCreateAgreements:Who-Where-How112ManagetheAgreement120IfYouAreMissingPerformanceConversations123PuttingItintoPractice127ChapterFive:ClosureConversations:CreateEndings131AnIncompletePastCanPreventaNewFuture132TheFourA’sofClosureConversations134BuildAccountabilityandResolve“PeopleProblems”150IfYouAreMissingClosureConversations160PuttingItintoPractice163ChapterSix:UsingtheFourConversations167ConversationalTendencies167HowtheFourConversationsWorkTogether169PuttingItintoPractice197ChapterSeven:SupporttheConversationalWorkplace201TheConversationalWorkplace201PracticestoSupporttheConversationalWorkplace203viiiContentsImplementingthePractices:FourTips211AClosingNote215Resources217Notes219Acknowledgments223Index225AbouttheAuthors237ContentsixThispagei