9-GenderDifference

GenderdisplayGender&Non-verbalCommunicationTouchHeightFacialexpressionGazeGestureanddemeanorArtifactualmessagesGenderDifferencesinCommunication•MencomefromMarsandwomencomefromVenus.•Womenaremadeofwater,andmenaremadeofmud.《红楼梦》里说，“女人是水做的，男人是泥做的。”女人属水，水属阴，阴生柔。女人伤心的时候，可以哭泣；女人劳累的时候，可以歇息；女人爱恋的时候，可以耍娇。但是，男人不同，男人是泥做的，泥捏造出来的男人，属阳，阳生刚，自从男人来到这个世界，就必须坚强独立，就必须打拼世界，就必须去做一个铁骨硬汉。原始的理念，让男人和女人从小就习惯了各自的思维，从而在生活中扮演着各自的角色。Whostartstheconversation?Whoraisenewtopicmoreoftenthanothersandhowthetopicsarerespondedbyothers?Whointerruptsmoreoftenthanothers?Whoisinterruptedmorethanothersandhowthepersonrespondswhenbeinginterrupted?Whotalkslongerthanothers?Whoarguesorswearsmorethanothers?Wholistensmoreattentivelythanotherswhensomeoneisspeaking?Questions:Whotalkmore,womenormen?Stereotype:Womentalktoomuch.Awoman’stonguewagslikealamb’stail.Foxesarealltailandwomenarealltongue.Thenorthseawillsoonerbefoundwantingwaterthanawomanbeatalossforword.Yetatmeetingsinmixed-groupdiscussionsinclassroomswheregirlssitnexttoboysMoremenfeelcomfortabledoing“public”speakingMorewomenfeelcomfortabledoing“private”speakingReportRapporttopreserveindependenceandnegotiateandmaintainstatusinahierarchicalsocialorderawayofestablishingconnectionandnegotiatingrelationships“MywifeandIhaveanagreement:Imakeallthebigdecisions,whileshegetstomakethelittleones.IdecidewhattheUnitedNationsshoulddo,howtosolvetheworldenergycrisis,andwhowillwinthenextWorldCup;shedecideswhereweshouldlive,whatweshouldeat,howtoeducatethekids,andwhenwe’llretire.”DifferentfocusesDifferentwaysHe:Whatwouldyoulikeforyourbirthday?She:Idon’tcare,anything’sOK.He:No,really,whatdoyouwant?I’dliketogetyousomethingnice.She:Youdon’thavetogetmeanything;besideswecan’taffordmuchrightnow.He:Well,howaboutifwejustgooutfordinnertogetherthen?She:Sure,that’sfine.Idon’treallywantanything.YoualwaysgivemewhateverIwantanyway.Differentgrowing-upsChildhoodLanguageabilityMemoryResponsetobodylanguagesFriendsTalkinginterestsAprocessof“learning”MiscommunicationinCross-genderTalksWomen'sfeaturesToaskmorequestions.Todomoreoftheroutineshitworkformaintainingandfacilitatingtheflowofconversation.Tomakefulluseofpositiveminimalresponses,especially‘mmhmm’,andtoinsertsuchcommentsthroughoutstreamsoftalkratherthansimplyattheend.Toadoptsilentprotestwheninterruptedorreceivingadelayedminimalresponse.Tousethepronounsyouandwemoreoften,explicitlyacknowledgingtheexistenceoftheotherspeaker.Tointerruptmoreoften.Tochallengeanddispute.Toignorethecommentsoftheotherspeakerandtorespondslowly.Tousemoremeansofcontrollingthetopic,e.g.topicdevelopmentandintroductionofnewtopics.Tomakemoredirectdeclarationsoffactoropinion.Men'sfeaturesTwointerpretationsofthemeaningofquestions.Womenseemtoseequestionsasapartofconversationalmaintenance.Menseemtoviewthemprimarilyasrequestsforinformation.Twoconventionsforbeginninganutteranceandlinkingittotheprecedingtalk.Women'srulesrequireanexplicitacknowledgmentofwhathasbeensaidandmakingaconnectiontoit.Menseemtohavenosuchruleandinfactsomemalestrategiescallforignoringtheprecedingcomments.Differentinterpretationsofdisplaysofverbalaggressiveness.Womenseemtointerpretovertaggressivenessaspersonallydirected,negative,anddisruptive.Menseemtoviewitasoneconventionalorganizingstructureforconversationalflow.TwounderstandingsoftopicflowandtopicshiftFormen,topicisfairlynarrowlydefinedandadheredtountilfinishedandshiftsbetweentopicsareabrupt.Forwomen,topicisdevelopedprogressivelyandshiftsaregradual.Differentattitudestowardsproblemsharingandadvicegiving.Womentendtodiscussproblemswithoneanother,sharingexperiencesandofferingreassurances.Mentendtohearotherswhopresentthemwithproblemsasmakingexplicitrequestsforsolutions.Theyrespondbygivingadvice,byactingasexperts,lecturingtotheiraudiences.WhileonemaybespeakingplainEnglish,theother’sprobablylisteninginforeign!Remember