关于拖延症的英语演讲

4.Insidethemindofamasterofprocrastinater0:11Soincollege,Iwasagovernmentmajor,whichmeansIhadtowritealotofpapers.Now,whenanormalstudentwritesapaper,theymightspreadtheworkoutalittlelikethis.So,youknow--0:24(Laughter)0:25yougetstartedmaybealittleslowly,butyougetenoughdoneinthefirstweekthat,withsomeheavierdayslateron,everythinggetsdone,thingsstaycivil.0:33(Laughter)0:34AndIwouldwanttodothatlikethat.Thatwouldbetheplan.Iwouldhaveitallreadytogo,butthen,actually,thepaperwouldcomealong,andthenIwouldkindofdothis.0:45(Laughter)0:47Andthatwouldhappeneverysinglepaper.0:50Butthencamemy90-pageseniorthesis,apaperyou'resupposedtospendayearon.AndIknewforapaperlikethat,mynormalworkflowwasnotanoption.Itwaswaytoobigaproject.SoIplannedthingsout,andIdecidedIkindofhadtogosomethinglikethis.Thisishowtheyearwouldgo.SoI'dstartofflight,andI'dbumpitupinthemiddlemonths,andthenattheend,Iwouldkickitupintohighgearjustlikealittlestaircase.Howhardcoulditbetowalkupthestairs?Nobigdeal,right?1:22Butthen,thefunniestthinghappened.Thosefirstfewmonths?Theycameandwent,andIcouldn'tquitedostuff.Sowehadanawesomenewrevisedplan.1:30(Laughter)1:31Andthen--1:32(Laughter)1:34Butthenthosemiddlemonthsactuallywentby,andIdidn'treallywritewords,andsowewerehere.Andthentwomonthsturnedintoonemonth,whichturnedintotwoweeks.AndonedayIwokeupwiththreedaysuntilthedeadline,stillnothavingwrittenaword,andsoIdidtheonlythingIcould:Iwrote90pagesover72hours,pullingnotonebuttwoall-nighters--humansarenotsupposedtopulltwoall-nighters--sprintedacrosscampus,doveinslowmotion,andgotitinjustatthedeadline.2:10Ithoughtthatwastheendofeverything.ButaweeklaterIgetacall,andit'stheschool.Andtheysay,IsthisTimUrban?AndIsay,Yeah.Andtheysay,Weneedtotalkaboutyourthesis.AndIsay,OK.Andtheysay,It'sthebestonewe'veeverseen.2:28(Laughter)2:31(Applause)2:35Thatdidnothappen.2:37(Laughter)2:39Itwasavery,verybadthesis.2:42(Laughter)2:44Ijustwantedtoenjoythatonemomentwhenallofyouthought,Thisguyisamazing!2:50(Laughter)2:51No,no,itwasvery,verybad.Anyway,todayI'mawriter-bloggerguy.IwritetheblogWaitButWhy.Andacoupleofyearsago,Idecidedtowriteaboutprocrastination.Mybehaviorhasalwaysperplexedthenon-procrastinatorsaroundme,andIwantedtoexplaintothenon-procrastinatorsoftheworldwhatgoesonintheheadsofprocrastinators,andwhywearethewayweare.Now,Ihadahypothesisthatthebrainsofprocrastinatorswereactuallydifferentthanthebrainsofotherpeople.Andtotestthis,IfoundanMRIlabthatactuallyletmescanbothmybrainandthebrainofaprovennon-procrastinator,soIcouldcomparethem.Iactuallybroughtthemheretoshowyoutoday.Iwantyoutotakealookcarefullytoseeifyoucannoticeadifference.Iknowthatifyou'renotatrainedbrainexpert,it'snotthatobvious,butjusttakealook,OK?Sohere'sthebrainofanon-procrastinator.3:42(Laughter)3:45Now...here'smybrain.3:49(Laughter)3:54Thereisadifference.BothbrainshaveaRationalDecision-Makerinthem,buttheprocrastinator'sbrainalsohasanInstantGratificationMonkey.Now,whatdoesthismeanfortheprocrastinator?Well,itmeanseverything'sfineuntilthishappens.4:08[Thisisaperfecttimetogetsomeworkdone.][Nope!]4:11SotheRationalDecision-Makerwillmaketherationaldecisiontodosomethingproductive,buttheMonkeydoesn'tlikethatplan,soheactuallytakesthewheel,andhesays,Actually,let'sreadtheentireWikipediapageoftheNancyKerrigan/TonyaHardingscandal,becauseIjustrememberedthatthathappened.4:27(Laughter)4:28Then--4:29(Laughter)4:30Thenwe'regoingtogoovertothefridge,toseeifthere'sanythingnewintheresince10minutesago.Afterthat,we'regoingtogoonaYouTubespiralthatstartswithvideosofRichardFeynmantalkingaboutmagnetsandendsmuch,muchlaterwithuswatchinginterviewswithJustinBieber'smom.4:46(Laughter)4:48Allofthat'sgoingtotakeawhile,sowe'renotgoingtoreallyhaveroomonthescheduleforanyworktoday.Sorry!4:54(Sigh)4:57Now,whatisgoingonhere?TheInstantGratificationMonkeydoesnotseemlikeaguyyouwantbehindthewheel.Helivesentirelyinthepresentmoment.Hehasnomemoryofthepast,noknowledgeofthefuture,andheonlycaresabouttwothings:easyandfun.5:15Now,intheanimalworld,thatworksfine.Ifyou'readogandyouspendyourwholelifedoingnothingotherthaneasyandfunthings,you'reahugesuccess!5:24(Laughter)5:26AndtotheMonkey,humansarejustanotheranimalspecies.Youhavetokeepwell-slept,well-fedandpropagatingintothenextgeneration,whichintribaltimesmighthaveworkedOK.But,ifyouhaven'tnoticed,nowwe'renotintribaltimes.We'reinanadvancedcivilization,andtheMonkeydoesnotknowwhatthatis.Whichiswhywehaveanotherguyinourbrain,theRationalDecision-Maker,whogivesustheabilitytodothingsnootheranimalcando.Wecanvisualizethefuture.Wecanseethebigpicture.Wecanmakelong-termplans.Andhewantstotakeallofthatintoaccount.Andhewantstojusthaveusdowhatevermakessensetobedoingrightnow.Now,sometimesitmakessensetobedoingthingsthatareeasyandfun,likewhenyou'rehavingdinnerorgoingtobedorenjoyingwell-earnedleisuretime.That'swhythere'sanoverlap.Sometimestheyagree.Butothertimes,itmakesmuchmoresensetobedoingthingsthatareharderandlesspleasant,forthesakeofthebigpicture.Andthat'swhenwehaveaconflict.Andfortheprocrastinator,thatconflicttendstoendacertainwayeverytime,leavinghimspendingalotof