The-Glass-Mountain-by-Donald-Barthelme

1TheGlassMountainDonaldBarthelme1.Iwastryingtoclimbtheglassmountain.2.TheglassmountainstandsatthecornerofThirteenthStreetandEighthAvenue.3.Ihadattainedthelowerslope.4.Peoplewerelookingupatme.5.Iwasnewintheneighborhood.6.NeverthelessIhadacquaintances.7.Ihadstrappedclimbingironstomyfeetandeachhandgraspedsturdyplumber'sfriend.8.Iwas200feetup.9.Thewindwasbitter.10.Myacquaintanceshadgatheredatthebottomofthemountaintoofferencouragement.11.Shithead.12.Asshole.13.Everyoneinthecityknowsabouttheglassmountain.14.Peoplewholiveheretellstoriesaboutit.15.Itispointedouttovisitors.16.Touchingthesideofthemountain,onefeelscoolness.17.Peeringintothemountain,oneseessparklingblue-whitedepths.18.ThemountaintowersoverthatpartofEighthAvenuelikesomesplendid,immenseofficebuilding.19.Thetopofthemountainvanishesintotheclouds,oroncloudlessdays,intothesun.20.Iunstucktherighthandplumber'sfriendleavingthelefthandoneinplace.21.ThenIstretchedoutandreattachedtherighthandonealittlehigherup,afterwhichIinchedmylegsintonewpositions.22.Thegainwasminimal,notanarm'slength.23.Myacquaintancescontinuedtocomment.24.Dumbmotherfucker.225.Iwasnewintheneighborhood.26.Inthestreetsweremanypeoplewithdisturbedeyes.27.Lookforyourself.28.Inthestreetswerehundredsofyoungpeopleshootingupindoorways,behindparkedcars.29.Olderpeoplewalkeddogs.30.Thesidewalkswerefullofdogshitinbrilliantcolors:ocher,umber,Marsyellow,sienna,viridian,ivoryblack,rosemadder.31.Andsomeonehadbeenapprehendedcuttingdowntrees,arowofelmsbroken-backedamongtheVWsandValiants.32.Donewithapowersaw,beyondadoubt.33.IwasnewintheneighborhoodyetIhadaccumulatedacquaintances.34.Myacquaintancespassedabrownbottlefromhandtohand.35.Betterthanakickinthecrotch.36.Betterthanapokeintheeyewithasharpstick.37.Betterthanaslapinthebellywithawetfish.38.Betterthanathumponthebackwithastone.39.Won'themakeasplashwhenhefalls,now?40.Ihopetobeheretoseeit.Dipmyhandkerchiefintheblood.41.Fart-facedfool.42.Iunstuckthelefthandplumber'sfriendleavingtherighthandoneinplace.43.Andreachedout.44.Toclimbtheglassmountain,onefirstrequiresagoodreason.45.Noonehaseverclimbedthemountainonbehalfofscience,orinsearchofcelebrity,orbecausethemountainwasachallenge.46.Thosearenotgoodreasons.47.Butgoodreasonsexist.48.Atthetopofthemountainthereisacastleofpuregold,andinaroominthecastletowersits...49.Myacquaintanceswereshoutingatme.350.Tenbucksyoubustyourassinthenextfourminutes!51....abeautifulenchantedsymbol.52.Iunstucktherighthandplumber'sfriendleavingthelefthandoneinplace.53.Andreachedout.54.Itwascoldthereat206feetandwhenIlookeddownIwasnotencouraged.55.Aheapofcorpsesbothofhorsesandridersringedthebottomofthemountain,manydyingmengroaningthere.56.Aweakeningofthelibidinousinterestinrealityhasrecentlycometoaclose.(AntonEhrenzweig)157.Afewquestionsthrongedintomymind.58.Doesoneclimbaglassmountain,atconsiderablepersonaldiscomfort,simplytodisenchantasymbol?59.Dotoday'sstrongeregosstillneedsymbols?60.Idecidedthattheanswertothesequestionswasyes.61.OtherwisewhatwasIdoingthere,206feetabovethepower-sawedelms,whosewhitemeatIcouldseefrommyheight?62.Thebestwaytofailtoclimbthemountainistobeaknightinfullarmor--onewhosehorse'shoofsstrikefierysparksfromthesidesofthemountain.63.Thefollowing-namedknightshadfailedtoclimbthemountainandweregroaningintheheap:SirGilesGuilford,SirHenryLovell,SirAlbertDenny,SirNicholasVaux,SirPatrickGrifford,SirGisbourneGower,SirThomasGrey,SirPeterColeville,SirJohnBlunt,SirRichardVernon,SirWalterWilloughby,SirStephenSpear,SirRogerFaulconbridge,SirClarenceVaughan,SirHubertRatcliffe,SirjamesTyrrel,SirWalterHerbert,SirRobertBrakenbury,SirLionelBeaufort,andmanyothers.264.Myacquaintancesmovedamongthefallenknights.65.Myacquaintancesmovedamongthefallenknights,collectingrings,wallets,pocketwatches,ladies'favors.66.Calmreignsinthecountry,thankstotheconfidentwisdomofeveryone.(M.Pompidou)367.Thegoldencastleisguardedbyalean-headedeaglewithblazingrubiesforeyes.68.Iunstuckthelefthandplumber'sfriend,wonderingif--69.Myacquaintanceswereprisingoutthegoldteethofnot-yetdeadknights.70.Inthestreetswerepeopleconcealingtheircalmbehindafaçadeofvaguedread.471.Theconventionalsymbol(suchasthenightingale,oftenassociatedwithmelancholy),eventhoughitisrecognizedonlythroughagreement,isnotasign(likethetrafficlight)because,again,itpresumablyarousesdeepfeelingsandisregardedaspossessingpropertiesbeyondwhattheeyealonesees.(ADictionaryofLiteraryTerms)72.Anumberofnightingaleswithtrafficlightstiedtotheirlegsflewpastme.73.Aknightinpalepinkarmorappearedaboveme.74.Hesank,hisarmormakingtinyshriekingsoundsagainsttheglass.75.Hegavemeasidewaysglanceashepassedme.76.HeutteredthewordMuerte4ashepassedme.77.Iunstucktherighthandplumber'sfriend.78.Myacquaintancesweredebatingthequestion,whichofthemwouldgetmyapartment?79.Ireviewedtheconventionalmeansofattainingthecastle.80.Theconventionalmeansofattainingthecastleareasfollows:Theeagledugitssharpclawsintothetenderfleshoftheyouth,butheborethepainwithoutasound,andseizedthebird'stwofeetwithhishands.Thecreatureinterrorliftedhimhighupintotheairandbegantocircletheca