What-makes-a-good-life

Whatmakesagoodlife?LessonsfromthelongeststudyonhappinessWhatkeepsus/healthyandhappyaswegothroughlife?Ifyouweregoingtoinvestnow/inyourfuturebestself,wherewouldyouputyourtime/andyourenergy?Therewasarecentsurveyofmillennials/askingthemwhattheirmostimportantlifegoalswere,andover80percentsaid/thatamajorlifegoalforthemwastogetrich.Andanother50percentofthosesameyoungadults/saidthatanothermajorlifegoal/wastobecomefamous.00:49(Laughter)00:51Andwe'reconstantlytoldtoleanintowork,topushharder/andachievemore.We'regiventheimpressionthatthesearethethingsthatweneedtogoafterinordertohaveagoodlife.Picturesofentirelives,ofthechoicesthatpeoplemakeand/howthosechoicesworkoutforthem,thosepicturesarealmostimpossibletoget.Mostofwhatweknowabouthumanlife/weknowfromaskingpeopletorememberthepast,andasweknow,hindsightisanythingbut20/20.Weforgetvastamountsofwhathappenstousinlife,andsometimesmemoryisdownrightcreative.01:35But/whatifwecouldwatchentirelivesastheyunfoldthroughtime?Whatifwecouldstudypeople/fromthetimethattheywereteenagersallthewayintooldage/toseewhatreallykeepspeoplehappyandhealthy?01:54Wedidthat.TheHarvardStudyofAdultDevelopmentmaybe/thelongeststudyofadultlifethat'severbeendone.For75years,we'vetrackedthelivesof724men,yearafteryear,askingabouttheirwork,theirhomelives,theirhealth,andofcourseaskingallalongthewaywithoutknowinghowtheirlifestoriesweregoingtoturnout.02:24Studieslikethisareexceedinglyrare.Almostallprojectsofthiskindfallapartwithinadecadebecausetoomanypeopledropoutofthestudy,orfundingfortheresearchdriesup,ortheresearchersgetdistracted,ortheydie,andnobodymovestheballfurtherdownthefield.Butthroughacombinationofluckandthepersistenceofseveralgenerationsofresearchers,thisstudyhassurvived.About60ofouroriginal724menarestillalive,stillparticipatinginthestudy,mostofthemintheir90s.Andwearenowbeginningtostudythemorethan2,000childrenofthesemen.AndI'mthefourthdirectorofthestudy.03:14Since1938,we'vetrackedthelivesoftwogroupsofmen.ThefirstgroupstartedinthestudywhentheyweresophomoresatHarvardCollege.TheyallfinishedcollegeduringWorldWarII,andthenmostwentofftoserveinthewar.Andthesecondgroupthatwe'vefollowedwasagroupofboysfromBoston'spoorestneighborhoods,boyswhowerechosenforthestudyspecificallybecausetheywerefromsomeofthemosttroubledanddisadvantagedfamiliesintheBostonofthe1930s.Mostlivedintenements,manywithouthotandcoldrunningwater.03:53Whentheyenteredthestudy,alloftheseteenagerswereinterviewed.Theyweregivenmedicalexams.Wewenttotheirhomesandweinterviewedtheirparents.Andthentheseteenagersgrewupintoadultswhoenteredallwalksoflife.Theybecamefactoryworkersandlawyersandbricklayersanddoctors,onePresidentoftheUnitedStates.Somedevelopedalcoholism.Afewdevelopedschizophrenia.Someclimbedthesocialladderfromthebottomallthewaytotheverytop,andsomemadethatjourneyintheoppositedirection.04:34ThefoundersofthisstudywouldneverintheirwildestdreamshaveimaginedthatIwouldbestandingheretoday,75yearslater,tellingyouthatthestudystillcontinues.Everytwoyears,ourpatientanddedicatedresearchstaffcallsupourmenandasksthemifwecansendthemyetonemoresetofquestionsabouttheirlives.04:59ManyoftheinnercityBostonmenaskus,Whydoyoukeepwantingtostudyme?Mylifejustisn'tthatinteresting.TheHarvardmenneveraskthatquestion.05:10(Laughter)05:19Togettheclearestpictureoftheselives,wedon'tjustsendthemquestionnaires.Weinterviewthemintheirlivingrooms.Wegettheirmedicalrecordsfromtheirdoctors.Wedrawtheirblood,wescantheirbrains,wetalktotheirchildren.Wevideotapethemtalkingwiththeirwivesabouttheirdeepestconcerns.Andwhen,aboutadecadeago,wefinallyaskedthewivesiftheywouldjoinusasmembersofthestudy,manyofthewomensaid,Youknow,it'sabouttime.05:49(Laughter)05:50Sowhathavewelearned?Whatarethelessonsthatcomefromthetensofthousandsofpagesofinformationthatwe'vegeneratedontheselives?Well,thelessonsaren'taboutwealthorfameorworkingharderandharder.Theclearestmessagethatwegetfromthis75-yearstudyisthis:Goodrelationshipskeepushappierandhealthier.Period.06:22We'velearnedthreebiglessonsaboutrelationships.Thefirstisthatsocialconnectionsarereallygoodforus,andthatlonelinesskills.Itturnsoutthatpeoplewhoaremoresociallyconnectedtofamily,tofriends,tocommunity,arehappier,they'rephysicallyhealthier,andtheylivelongerthanpeoplewhoarelesswellconnected.Andtheexperienceoflonelinessturnsouttobetoxic.Peoplewhoaremoreisolatedthantheywanttobefromothersfindthattheyarelesshappy,theirhealthdeclinesearlierinmidlife,theirbrainfunctioningdeclinessoonerandtheyliveshorterlivesthanpeoplewhoarenotlonely.Andthesadfactisthatatanygiventime,morethanoneinfiveAmericanswillreportthatthey'relonely.07:18Andweknowthatyoucanbelonelyinacrowdandyoucanbelonelyinamarriage,sothesecondbiglessonthatwelearnedisthatit'snotjustthenumberoffriendsyouhave,andit'snotwhetherornotyou'reinacommittedrelationship,butit'sthequalityofyourcloserelationshipsthatmatters.Itturnsoutthatlivinginthemidstofconflictisreallybadforourhealth.High-conflictmarriages,forexample,withoutmuchaffection,turnouttobeverybadforourhealth,perhapsworsethangettingdivorced.Andlivinginthemidstofgood,warmrelat