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ExploringEmotionalIntelligence探索情商RedefiningIntelligenceandAchievement•Doyourememberyourhigh-schoolvaledictorian?•还记得你的中学毕业生代表吗?•Itisscarcelyarevelationthatnoteveryone’stalentsfittheschoolsystem’sratherrestrictivemodelformeasuringachievement.•并不是每个人的天赋都适合学校系统的颇具限制性的成绩衡量模式,这几乎不是什么新发现了。•Mostofusknowinourbonesthatthere’saworldofdifferencebetweenschoolsmartsandstreetsmarts—betweenbraininessandgeneralsavvy.•我们都发自肺腑地知道学习能手与社会达人--聪明与智慧之间有天壤之别。Whatissuccess?Let’sdefineitastheabilitytosetandachieveyourpersonalandprofessionalgoals,whatevertheymaybe.•成功是什么?我们把它定义为设置并完成任何你个人或专业目标的能力。•Thatsoundssimple,butofcourseit’snot.•听起来很简单,但是肯定没这么简单。•That’smorethancanbesaidforsociety’sideasofsuccess,whicharechangingaswespeak.•社会的成功的看法就更加(变幻无常)了,我们说话的这当儿,它们就在变化着。•Ifyoustoptothinkaboutyourfriendsandfamilymembers—infact,aboutyourco-workersandthepeopleyouencounterinallsortsofday-to-daysettings—whomdoyouconsidertobethemostsuccessful?•如果你停下来想一想你的朋友你的家人,你的同事,你各种日常联系中遇到的人,谁才是你认为最成功的人?•Morelikelytheyhaveothercharacteristics,otherskills,thatunderlietheircapacitytoachievewhattheydesire.•他们很可能有其他的特征,其他的技能,隐藏在他们获得所渴望的东西的能力背后。WhatAreIQandEQ?•Here’sanexercisetotry:writedownthenameofamentorwhohashadthebiggestpositiveinfluenceonyourcareer.•现在试做一个练习:写下一个对你的事业/生涯有最大正面影响的导师的名字。•Simplyput,IQisameasureofanindividual’sintellectual,analytical,logicalandrationalabilities.•简言之,IQ就是对一个人的智力,分析力,逻辑能力以及理性能力的衡量指标。•Allthat’sfine,yeteveryoneknowspeoplewhocouldsendanIQtestsky-high,butwhocan’tquitemakegoodineithertheirpersonalorworkinglives.•即便如此,大家也都知道那些IQ测试成绩非常高可是却在个人或工作生活中表现不那么好的人。•Thereasonisthatthey’resorelylackinginemotionalintelligence,whichhasbeendefinedinseveraldifferentways.•原因就是他们非常缺乏情商,我们可以通过几种不同的方式对其进行定义。ComparingIQandEQ•Cognitiveintelligence,tobeclear,referstotheabilitytoconcentrateandplan,toorganizematerial,tousewordsandtounderstand,assimilateandinterpretfacts.•认知智慧,明确地说,指的是集中计划的能力,组织材料的能力,使用词语,以及理解吸收阐释事实的能力。•InhisrecentbookTheMillionaireMind,best-sellingauthorThomasStanleyincludedasurveythatwastakenof733multi-millionairesthroughouttheUnitedStates.•畅销书作者托马斯史丹利的新书《百万富翁的智慧》中,有一个对全美733个亿万富翁做的调查。•Beinghonestwithallpeople•Beingwelldisciplined•Gettingalongwithpeople•Havingasupportivespouse•Workingharderthanmostpeople•真诚对待所有人•有良好的纪律观念•多与人交往•有伴侣的支持•比多数人更努力工作Cognitiveintelligence,orIQ,was21stonthelistandonlyendorsedby20percentofthemillionaires.认知智慧,即iq,位列21,而且仅有20%的富翁赞同。•AnothermajordifferencebetweencognitiveandemotionalintelligenceisthatIQisprettymuchset.•认知智慧与情感智慧的另一个主要区别在于:IQ是更加固定的。•Noneofthisoughttocomeasasurprise:wegetolderbutwiser.•这没什么好奇怪的:我们越老越智慧。•SomuchforafewofthemajordifferencesbetweenIQandEQ.Butoneortwomisconceptionsremain.•对于IQ与EQ之间的主要区别我们就说这些,但是仍有一两个误解。•Firstofall,itisn’taptitude,whichconcernsaperson’sabilitytoperformwellinaparticularactivityordiscipline.•首先,它不是天赋,它指的是一个人在某特定的活动或学科中表现好的能力。•NorisEQpersonality—theuniquesetoftraitsthathelpformaperson’scharacteristic,enduringanddependablewaysofthinking,feelingandbehaving.•情商人格也不是。情商人格是帮助形成一个人性格、持久性以及可靠的思维方法、感觉方式以及行为方式的唯一的一系列特征。•Personalityistheconceptmostoftenconfusedwithemotionalintelligence,butitdiffersintwoimportantways.•人格是最常与情商混淆的概念,但是人格从两个重要的方面来讲是不一样的。•Emotionalintelligence,however,ismadeupofshort-term,tactical,“dynamic”skillsthatcanbebroughtintoplayasthesituationwarrants.•但是,情商是由条件允许时可以运用的短期的,战略的,动态的技能构成的。TheBuildingBlocksofEQ•Basically,ReuvenBarOnarrivedatawaytocaptureemotionalintelligencebydividingitintofivegeneralareasorrealms,and15subsectionsorscales.•从根本上说,RB通过把情商分成五个大领域和十五个小部分,找到了一种理解它的方法。•TheIntrapersonalRealmconcernsyourabilitytoknowandmanageyourself.•内省领域指的是你自我认知与自我掌控的能力。•TheInterpersonalRealmalsoconcernsyour“peopleskills”—yourabilitytointeractandgetalongwithothers.•交际领域也指你的交际能力,即,你与别人交往互动的能力。•TheAdaptabilityRealminvolvesyourabilitytobeflexibleandrealistic,andtosolvearangeofproblemsastheyarise.•适应领域指的是你灵活变通并适应生活的能力,当问题出现时能够解决他们。•TheStressManagementRealmconcernsyourabilitytotoleratestressandcontrolimpulses.•压力应对领域指的是你承受压力与控制冲动的能力。•TheGeneralMoodRealmalsohastwoscales.•一般情绪领域也有两个方面。CanIReallyEnhanceMyEQ?•Weknowthatemotionalintelligencecanbeenhancedbecausewe’veseenithappenoverandoveragainaswe’veworkedwithcorporateCEOsandotherexecutives,schoolteachers,militarypersonnel,counselorsandconsultants,mentalhealthprofessionalsandhusbandsandwives.•我们知道情商是能够被提高的,因为我们在与公司CEO或高管、学校老师、军人、律师顾问、心理健康专家、以及伴侣交往的过程中已经目睹过它一遍又一遍地发生了。•Crucialtothisistheissueofsuccess,asdefinedearlierinthebook.•关键就是成功的问题,如前所述。•Howdidwedoso?Let’ssaythatJohnSmith,aseniormanageratagivencompany,feelshecouldbemoresuccessful,moreefficientinhisduties.•我们是怎么做的呢?假设约翰史密斯,某公司高管,感觉自己能够更成功,更有效地完成工作。•OrperhapsJohnSmith,whilefunctioningperfectlywellatwork,mightbeexperiencingdifficultieswithhispersonallife.•或者约翰史密斯可能工作非常出色,但是私人生活却正经历困难。•Inaddition,there’llbeaninevitablespilloverorcross-pollinationfromroletorole.•另外,角色与角色之间会有不可避免的相互影响。•Inthisway,theEQ-igoesbeyondamere100-basedscoreforratingsomeoneinrelationtothepopulationasawhole.•这样一来,情商测试在评估一个人与整个人群的的联系时就不仅仅是一个百分制的分数。•Atfirstglance,notwopeoplecouldbemoredissimilarthantheCEOofamajorcorporationa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