212-The-Discovery-of-What-It-Means-to-Be-an-Americ

1TheDiscoveryofWhatItMeanstoBeanAmerican1“ItisacomplexfatetobeanAmerican,”HenryJamesobserved,andtheprincipaldiscoveryanAmericanwritermakesinEuropeisjusthowcomplexthisfateis.America’shistory,heraspirations,herpeculiartriumphs,herevenmorepeculiardefeats,andherpositionintheworld---yesterdayandtoday---areallsoprofoundlyandstubbornlyuniquethattheveryword“America”remainsanew,almostcompletelyundefinedandextremelycontroversialpropernoun.Nooneintheworldseemstoknowexactlywhatitdescribes,notevenwemotleymillionswhocallourselvesAmericans.2IleftAmericabecauseIdoubtedmyabilitytosurvivethefuryofthecolorproblemhere.(SometimesIstilldo.)IwantedtopreventmyselffrombecomingmerelyaNegro;oreven,merelyaNegrowriter.Iwantedtofindoutinwhatwaythespecialnessofmyexperiencecouldbemadetoconnectmewithotherpeopleinsteadofdividingmefromthem.(IwasasisolatedfromNegroesasIwasfromwhites,whichiswhathappenswhenaNegrobegins,atbottom,tobelievewhatwhitepeoplesayabouthim.)3Inmynecessitytofindthetermsonwhichmyexperiencecouldberelatedtothatofothers,Negroesandwhites,writersand2non-writers,Iproved,tomyastonishment,tobeasAmericanasanyTexasG.I.AndIfoundmyexperiencewassharedbyeveryAmericanwriterIknewinParis.Likeme,theyhadbeendivorcedfromtheirorigins,anditturnedouttomakeverylittledifferencethattheoriginsofwhiteAmericanswereEuropeanandminewereAfrican---theywerenomoreathomeinEuropethanIwas.4ThefactthatIwasthesonofaslaveandtheywerethesonsoffreemenmeantless,bythetimeweconfrontedeachotheronEuropesoil,thanthefactthatwewerebothsearchingforourseparateidentities.Whenwehadfoundthese,weseemedtobesaying,why,then,wewouldnolongerneedtoclingtotheshameandbitternesswhichhaddividedussolong.5ItbecameterriblyclearinEurope,asitneverhadbeenhere,thatweknewmoreabouteachotherthananyEuropeanevercould.Anditalsobecameclearthat,nomatterwhereourfathershadbeenborn,orwhattheyhadendured,thefactofEuropehadformedusboth,waspartofouridentityandpartofourinheritance.6IhadbeeninParisacoupleofyearsbeforeanyofthisbecamecleartome.Whenitdid,Ilikemanyawriterbeforemeuponthediscoverythathispropshaveallbeenknockedoutfromunderhim,sufferedaspeciesofbreakdownandwascarriedofftothemountains3ofSwitzerland,There,inthatabsolutelyalabasterlandscape,armedwithtwoBessieSmithrecordsandatypewriter,IbegantotrytorecreatethelifethatIhadfirstknownasachildandfromwhichIhadspentsomanyyearsinflight.7ItwasBessieSmith,throughhertoneandhercadence,whohelpedmetodigbacktothewayImyselfmusthavespokenwhenIwasapickaninny,andtorememberthethingsIhadheardandseenandfelt.Ihadburiedthemverydeep.IhadneverlistenedtoBessieSmithinAmerica(inthesamewaythat,foryears,Iwouldnottouchwatermelon),butinEuropeshehelpedtoreconcilemetobeinga“nigger”.8IdonotthinkthatIcouldhavemadethisreconciliationhere.OnceIwasabletoacceptmyrole---asdistinguished,Imustsay,frommy“place”---intheextraordinarydramawhichisAmerica,IwasreleasedfromtheillusionthatIhatedAmerica.9ThestoryofwhatcanhappentoanAmericanNegrowriterinEuropesimplyillustrates,insomerelief,whatcanhappentoanyAmericanwriterthere.Itisnotmeant,ofcourse,toimplythatithappenstothemall,forEuropecanbeverycripplingtoo;and,anyway,awriter,whenhehasmadehisfirstbreakthrough,hassimplywonacrucialskirmishinadangerous,unendingandunpredictablebattle.4Still,thebreakthroughisimportant,andthepointisthatanAmericanwriter,inordertoachieveit,veryoftenhastoleavethiscountry.10TheAmericanwriter,inEurope,isreleased,firstofall,fromthenecessityofapologizingforhimself.Itisnotuntilheisreleasedfromthehabitofflexinghismusclesandprovingthatheisjusta“regularguy”thatherealizeshowcripplingthishabithasbeen.Itisnotnecessaryforhim,there,topretendtobesomethingheisnot,fortheartistdoesnotencounterinEuropethesamesuspicionheencountershere.WhatevertheEuropeansmayactuallythinkofartists,theyhavekilledenoughofthemoffbynowtoknowthattheyareasreal---andaspersistent---asrain,snow,taxesorbusinessmen.11Ofcourse,thereasonforEurope’scomparativeclarityconcerningthedifferentfunctionsofmeninsocietyisthatEuropeansocietyhasalwaysbeendividedintoclassesinawaythatAmericansocietyneverhasbeen.AEuropeanwriterconsidershimselftobepartofanoldandhonorabletradition---ofintellectualactivity,ofletters---andhischoiceofavocationdoesnotcausehimanyuneasywonderastowhetherornotitwillcosthimallhisfriends.ButthistraditiondoesnotexistinAmerica.12Onthecontrary,wehaveaverydeep-seateddistrustofrealintellectualeffort(probablybecausewesuspectthatitwilldestroy,asI5hopeitdoes,thatmythofAmericatowhichweclingsodesperately).AnAmericanwriterfightshiswaytooneofthelowestrungsontheAmericansocialladderbymeansofpurebull-headednessandanindescribableseriesofoddjobs.Heprobablyhasbeena“regularfellow”formuchofhisadultlife,anditisnoteasyforhimtostepoutofthatlukewarmbath.13Wemust,however,consideraratherseriousparadox;thoughAmericansocietyismoremobilethanEurope’s,itiseasiertocutacrosssocialandoccupationallinestherethanitishere.Thishassomethingtodo,Ithink,withtheproblemofstatusinAmericanlife.Whereeveryonehasstatus,itisalsoperfectlypossible,afterall,thatnoonehas.Itseemsinevitable,inanycase,thatamanmaybecomeuneasyastojustwhat