Why-So-Much-Is-Beyond-Words

WhySoMuchIsBeyondWordsFrankTrippett(1926-1998):anAmericanjournalistandessayist.HewasbornonJuly1,1926,inColumbus,Mississippi,andgrewupinAberdeen,Mississippi.1.“Inthebeginning,”saystheGospelofSt.John,“wastheworld.”ThemysticalmeaningsthattheBiblelaysupontheword.Wordarenotembracedbyeveryone.Yetnobodycanreasonablydoubtthatthecomingoftheword,ifnottheWord,tohumankindwasthestartofsomethingbiginhistory.HumantalkmayhavestruckdyspepticNathanielHawthornelike“thecroakandcackleoffowls,”buttheriseoflanguage,writtenandspoken,isallbutuniversallyratedasoneofthegloriesofthespecies.Whatissurprisingisthatinthecommongiveandtakeofdailyliving,peoplestillrelysolittleupontheverballanguagethatdistinguishesthemfromthebeasts.2.Infact,Homosapiens,asacommunicator,doesnotseemtohavecomeallthatfarfromthetimewhengruntsandgesticulationswerethemainwaysofgettingmessagesacross.Bothindividualsandgroupsstillsendvitalmessagesbygesture,bypantomime,bydramatics—byadizzydiversityofwhatscholarscallnonverbalcommunication.Therealityiseasytooverlookinanepochthatisbloatedwithprideinitsdazzlingtechnicalmarvelsofcommunication.Yet,inspiteofhumangarrulousness,perhapsaslittleas20%ofthecommunicationamongpeopleisverbal,accordingtoexperts;most,byfar,evenwhentalkisgoingon,consistsofnonverbalsignals.3.“Language,”saidSamuelJohnson,“isthedressofthought.”Butallovertheworldpeopleactasthoughlanguageweremerecostume—andusuallyadisguise.EverybodytendstomimicthatanonymoussignalercitedinProverbs:“Hewinkethwithhiseyes,hespeakethwithhisfeet,heteachethwithhisfingers”.4.Thistendencytocommunebysemaphorehasprobablynotincreasedatallincenturies,butconsciousnessofitsurelyhas.Aspateofbookslikethisseason’sReadingFacesandlastdecade’spopularBodyLanguagehaveexploredtheindividual’stendencytobroadcastthingsthroughallmannerofphysicalmovementsandfacialgymnastic.Suchmatters,madewidelyfamiliarbypopsociology,anthropologyandpsychology,havebecomethestuffofcommonconversation.MichaelKorda’sPower!HowtoGetIt,HowtoUseIt,likeotherbooksofilk,ismainlyaprimerinhowtomanipulateothersbyacold-bloodedcontrolofnonverbalsignalsthatoccurcommonlyintheworkadayworld:forexample,howexecutivessignaltheirstylesandpresumptionsofpowerbytheclothestheychooseandthewaytheyarrangetheirofficefurniture.5.Atworkorplay,everybodyemitswordlesssignalsofinfinitevariety.Overt,likeawarmsmile.Spontaneous,likearaisedeyebrow.Involuntary,likelearningawayfromasalespersontoresistadeal.SaysJuliusFastinBodyLanguage:“Werubournosesforpuzzlement.Weclaspourarmstoisolateourselvesortoprotectourselves.Weshrugourshouldersforindifference.”Baseballpitchersoftendustbackabatterwithacloseballthatisnotintendedtohitbutonlytosignalawarningclaimofdominance.Thetwitchingsofyoungchildrentoolonginadultcompanyaremerelyinvoluntarysignalsofshort-fusedpatience.Anycompetentpsychiatristremainsalerttotheticsandquirkyexpressionsbywhichapatient’shiddenemotionsmakethemselvesknown.Peopleevensignalbytheodorstheygiveoff,asJanetHopsondocumentsinsuperfluousdetailinScentSignals:TheSilentLanguageofSex.Actually,itisimpossibleforanindividualtoavoidsignalingotherpeople;thepersonwhomutelywithdrawsfromhumanintercoursesendsoutanunmistakablesignalintheformofuttersilence.6.SociologistDaneArchercallsreadingsuchsignals“socialintelligence”.UrgedArcher:“Wemustunshackleourselvesfromthetendencytoignoresilentbehaviorandtopreferwordsovereverythingelse.”Theevidencealloveristhatwhilepeoplemeandertheearththroughthicketsofverbiage(theirsandothers),many,perhapsmost,dopaymoreattentiontowordlesssignalsandaremorelikelytobeinfluencedandgovernedbynonverbalmessages.7.Thebloodyhistoryoftheworldoughttobethefirstitemofevidenceinanycaseagainstrelyingonwordlesssignalingininternationalaffairs.Theopportunitiesformisunderstandingareimmenseandconstant.SaysHarvardLawProfessorRogerFisher,aspecialistininternationalnegotiations:“Thechancesofproperlyunderstandingsignalsinthemidstofconflictisalwaysveryslight.”Forinstance,duringtheIranhostagenegotiations,SecretaryofStateCyrusVance,intendingtosignalthebeliefthatU.S.-Iranproblemscouldberesolved,spokeofrestoring“normal”diplomaticrelations.IranmistakenlytookthattomeanareturntothingsastheywereunderthedespisedShah.SaysFisher:“Sendingdiplomaticsignalsislikesendingsmokesignalsinahighwind.”8.Asallbuttheveryluckiest—ordullest—ofpeoplemighttestify,individualsignalshaveawayofmisfiringjustaseasily,withresultsjustascalamitousifnotasearthshaking.Thedangerofmisunderstandingincreasesdramaticallywheneventhemostelementarysignalsareusedbypeopleindifferentcultures.ThehappiestofovertAmericansignals,thecircledthumbandindexfinger,unlessaccompaniedbyasmile,amountstoaninsultinFrance.TheinnocentAmericanhabitofproppingafootonatableorcrossingaleginfigure-fourstylecouldcausehardfeelingsamongArabs,towhomtheshowingofashoesoleisoffensive.9.Peopleindulgeinnonverbalcommunicationnotbasicallytobecleverordeviousbutbecausethesewaysofcommunicatingaredeeplyembeddedinthehabitsofthespeciesandautomaticallytransmittedbyallcultures.SosaysAnthropologistRayBirdwhistell,apioneerinthestudyofkinesics,asbodylanguageiscalled.Oth