您好,欢迎访问三七文档
当前位置:首页 > 行业资料 > 国内外标准规范 > Who-Should-Pay-for-the-Date
WhoShouldPayfortheDate?Oneofthejoysofbeingmarriedisnothavingtoworryaboutthedreaded“who’sgoingtopickupthetab?”questionduringadate.Nonetheless,itwillalwaysbeahottopicthatmanyhavestrongopinionson,andthisisapersonalfinanceblogforyouthfuladultsafterall,solet’sexplore.Thisisafuntopic,andI’dlovetogetyourcomments.ALittleHistoryontheDatePayingIssueBasicallythetraditionofthemalebeingexpectedtopickupthetabstartedwaybackinthe1920′swhendatingbecamecommonbecausefewwomenhadhighpayingjobsoranyjobsatallrelativetotheirmalecounterparts.Nowadays,circumstanceshavechanged,yetthetraditionhasbeencarriedonbymany.Butshouldit?PayingfortheDate:SomeColdHardNumbersEarlierthisyear,andElle/MSNBCdatingsurveyof74,000onlinereadersfoundthat:66%ofmenwantedwomentochipinafterafewdates.44%ofwomenwerebotheredbybeingexpectedtohelpchipin.57%ofwomenoffertopay(includingthefirstdate)–34%werebotheredifthemanaccepts,and46%werebotheredifherefuses.75%ofmenfeltguiltywhentheyletthewomanpay,evenifshehasahigherincome.66%ofwomentrytokeeptheirincomesecretfromtheirdates.80%ofmensaytheyenduppayingmostdateexpenses.Thesefindingsillustrateapointthatmanymenhaveknownforyears–we’redamnedifwedoanddamnedifwedon’t.Isitanywonderwhyguysobsessoverthisdilemma?WhataretheOptionswhentheBillComes?Ithinkthere’sthreesolidoptions,andit’ddefinitelyworthdiscussingwithyoursignificantotheronceyouarecommitted.It’snotaneasythingtodiscussifyou’renotoronyourfirstfewdates.Obviouslyallthreearegoingtohaveadifferentimpactonyourfinances:TheManalwayspays–ithinkthisoptionistootraditionalandsomewhatdisrespectfultomodernsocialsituations.Whomevermakesmorepays–thisthemosthumanitarianoftheoptions.Equaldutyregardlessofpay–ifbothareearningan‘honestincome’,itissomewhatjust.Itendtolikethisoptionthebestifincome’saresimilar,butit’snotaneasyconversationtohave,especiallyinthefirstfewdates.Icantellyouthis,ifyou’reaguyreadingthis,avoidthe44%ofwomenthatarebotheredbybeingexpectedtohelpandthe34%thatarebotheredbyamanacceptingtheiroffertohelp(yes,Irealizethislimitsyouroptions,butyou’llthankmedowntheroad).Women,youshouldprobablyavoidtheguywhowantstopayeverytimeandyoushouldprobablybetheonetobreaktheiceonthefairpaytopicatsomepoint.Whatareyourthoughts?IntheUnitedStates,duringtheadventofsecondwavefeminism,1960sand1970s,theWomen'sMovementencouragedwomentopaytheirownwayortopayformen'smeals.Itisacceptedbysomethat,onadatebetweenawomanandman,themantakesinitiativewhenitcomestopayingthebill,meaningheistheonetopay.[1]However,incountrieslikeSwedenandNorwaywheresocial/genderequalityismoreprevalent,thatistoalesserdegreethecase.ShouldWomenEverPayOnADate?Everyonelovestobewinedanddined,especiallywhenit'satanotherperson'sexpense.Traditionallysocietysuggeststhatthemannotonlyinitiateadate,butpayforitaswell.Butisitreallyfairforamantofootthebillallthetime?Shouldwomeneverpayonadate?Absolutelynot,relationshipexpertMyreahMooretellsJET.Heispayingforhercompany.Shecansitathomeandhavea$2.99LeanCuisinebyherself,quipsMoore,whohasbeendubbedAmerica'sdatingcoach.Amanneedstoknowthatyouareatreasure.He'snotpayingforameal.He'spayingforyourcompany.Thepleasureofyourcompanymakeshismealsweeter.TheauthorofDateLikeAManToGetTheManYouWant!continuesthatbecausemenwilleconomicallyalwaysmakemoremoneythanwomen,it'soutofthequestionforawomantoeverpayonadate.Whenwomenstartpaying,itreallycutsthemanoffattheknees.Inthisdaywhenwomencandosomuchforthemselves,thisiswheremenwillhavepower.Menhavepowerinmoneyandwomenhavepowersexually.Ifawomanpaysforadate,itwouldtakeawayherchancetosupporthisbeingamaninthatsituation,Moorenotes.Sheconcludes,Whenamaniscourtingaclientforbusiness,hepays.Hewillalwayswineanddinehisclient,evenifthere'sthepossibilityofhisnotgettingthejob.Thesamethingshouldholdtrueforadate.PsychologistDr.JoyceHamiltonBerrydisagrees.Shedoesn'tseeathingwrongwithwomenpayingonadate.Itusedtobewomendidnotworkandhaveasourceofincome,thereforemenpaidonadate.Thisisadifferentage,sheexplains.Aperson'sageandthenatureoftherelationshipmightalsopossiblyinfluencehis/herthoughtsaboutwhofootsthebillonadate.Somemenareoffendedwhenawomanofferstopayforadate.Theymaycomefromtheviewpointthatthemanshouldpayfortheentertainment,butthere'snothingwrongwiththewomanoffering.Alsoifthewomanisnotinterestedinarelationshipandshe'soutwithaco-workerorsomeoneelsewhoshe'sdoingbusinesswith,shemightnotwantthemantopaybecausethiswayitmakesitveryclearthatshe'snotinterestedinarelationshipandthatthisisbusiness,resolvesBerry.Societyoldendictatesthattheinitiatorofthedate--beitthemanorthewoman--shouldpayforit,statesDr.GeorgeEdmondSmith.Adatebetweenamanandawomanisusuallyprecededbynonverbalcommunication,andsincemenareoftentheinitiatorsofdatesstilltoday,hisfirstverbalcommunicationiskey,explainsSmithwhoauthoredMoreThanSex:ReinventingTheBlackMaleImage.Hecontinues,[Theman]asksthewomanoutbysaying,`Baby,let'sgoout,'andshesubconsciouslyhearsanimplied`andI'llpay'tackedontotheendofthephrasebecausethatisthesocialnorm.Sinceheisasking,itishisresponsibilitytosettheboundariesofthedate.Conflictariseswhensignalsarecrossedandtheinitialcommunicati
本文标题:Who-Should-Pay-for-the-Date
链接地址:https://www.777doc.com/doc-5499791 .html