读后续写训练

CompletingtheStory--Tobepolished读后续写讲评课byShillingWhatarethemajorproblemsinyourwriting?Coherentsentence1衔接句Coherentsentence2coherentsentence3tInthislesson,studentsareableto1.developtheparagraphlogicallybasedontheoriginalstorybyfocusingoncoherentsentences2.learntopolishthewritingwithrichlanguageFinalaimistogethighmarksclimax(高潮)endingbeginningdevelopment？“5W1H”Task1:RetelltheoriginalstorySomebody：Whoisthemaincharacter?Wanted:Whatdidthecharacterwant?But:Whatwastheproblem?So:Howdidthecharactertrytosolvetheproblem?Then:Whatdidthecharacterdo?Para1:Suddenlyhehadanidea._________________Para2:ThenextmorningJimhandedhispresenttohismom.__________________________________________________Whatwastheidea?？Underlinedwords:Mother'sDay,present,newspaper,advertisement,shoppingspree,thebestmother,hug,anenvelope,hisentry,hisprizeHowtomakehisentrythespecialpresenttohisbestmother?Task2:ClarifywhatwillbewrittenPara1:Suddenlyhehadanidea._________________Para2:ThenextmorningJimhandedhispresenttohismom.衔接句1S1:Hecopiedtheentryandgotanenvelope.--XXS2:Howaboutchangingcharactersandletmetakecareofmomasshedid.--叶S3:ItoccurredtohimthatheshouldputhisoriginalcompetitionarticleasapresentonMother'sDay.--黄S4:Withoutasecondthoughtherantohisroom,takingoutapencilandthepaper.--蔡S5:“Whynotcopymyentrytomymom?”Jimthoughttohimself.Thenherushedintohisbedroom.--戴Task3:AssessthefirstcoherentsentenceS5:“Whynotcopymyentrytomymom?”Para1:Suddenlyhehadanidea.Para2:ThenextmorningJimhandedhispresenttohismom.衔接句1Sample:“Whynotcopymyentrytomymom?”Jimthoughttohimself.Thenherushedintohisbedroom...Tip：Logiccoherentsentencesmatter.Whataction(verbs)willbewrittennext?Para1:Suddenlyhehadanidea._________________Para2:ThenextmorningJimhandedhispresenttohismom.Task4:Polishyourwritingwithrichlanguage衔接句1衔接句2Para1:Suddenlyhehadanidea._________________Para2:ThenextmorningJimhandedhispresenttohismom.Task4:PolishyourwritingwithrichlanguageHequicklyranintohisroomtofindhisoriginalentryandthatnewspaper.Thenhecopieditwithpencilsandcrayonsonabigpieceofpaper.Afterthat,hedecoratedthepaperwithabunchofcarnationsandgluedaphotoofhismomonthatlargeadvertisement,andstuckhisworkonthenewspaper.“Whynotpresentmyentrytomymom?”Jimthoughttohimself.Withouthesitation,herushedtohisroomtofindhisoriginalcontestentry.Takingouthisbrightredcrayons,hestartedtocopyitneatlyonthebiggestpieceofyellowconstructionpaper.Afterthat,hedecoratedthepaperwithashapeoflove,tothebottomofwhichhegluedapictureofhismomandhimhuggingtightly.衔接句2衔接句1Everythingfinished,headmiredwhathehaddone,uttering“Nothingcouldbebetterthanmypresent.”Withgreatsenseofsatisfaction,heslidintohisbedandfellfastasleepthatnight.Para1:Suddenlyhehadanidea.Para2:ThenextmorningJimhandedhispresenttohismom.衔接句3WhatwillJimsay?hugornothug?WhatwillMomreact?Whatwilltheyfeel?“Andshegivesthebesthug,butneverinfrontofmyfriends,whowouldlaughatmeforhuggingmymom.”Para1:Suddenlyhehadanidea.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Para2:ThenextmorningJimhandedhispresenttohismom.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________衔接句1衔接句2衔接句3RewritePara21.情节Logicplot±10分2.语言Appropriatelanguage±5分3.过渡句Coherentsentences±3分4.划线词Fivemoreunderlinedwords±3分5.书写Handwriting±3分1.Bouncingfromthecouch,Jimrushedtohisdesk,searchingforhisentry.--夏雅婷2.Readingthewordsontheenvelope,momgrinnedwithalittlesatisfaction.---徐速3.Motherwassomovedbeyondwordsthatshecouldn'thelphugginghissontightly.---陈语量4.Tearsstreamdownhisrosycheeks.---林博5.Exhausted,Jimslidintohisbedandfellfastasleepthatnight.Whatmakesyourwritinggood?