中西方友谊的差异The-DIfference-of-Friendship

TheDifferencesofFriendshipBetweentheWestandChinaPresenter1XiaoZhang2XiaoWangProverb“没有真挚朋友的人，是真正孤独的人。”Withoutafriend,theworldislikeawilderness.GeneralitySocialcultureinChinaandtheUnitedStatesisnotthesame.Collectivistcultureisplayingadecisiveroleinthesociety.Meanwhile,theAmericancommunityisleadedbyindividualism.Thedifferencesofvaluesresultinvariousattitudesandunderstandingtowardsfriendship.1.personyoulike;2.supporter;3.notenemy;4.sillyorannoyingperson------OxfordEnglishDictionary“彼此有交情的人或恋爱的对象。”——《现代汉语词典》ThefriendshipandfriendsintheeyesofChineseandwesternpeopleWhatcanyouexpectfromyourfriends?Howlongcanfriendshiplast?Howmuchcanyoudependonyourfriends?Howmuchcanyouexpectfromyourfriends?TheFriendshipandFriendsintheEyesofChineseandWesternPeopleAlthoughChinesearemoregentleandhumble,thedefinitionoffriendandfriendshipisquiteclear.Weregardthetwoinaveryseriousway.Chinesefriendmustsharesimilarinterest,similarpersonalities.Otherwisetheyarejustacquaintance.TheFriendshipandFriendsintheEyesofChineseandWesternPeopleFriendandfriendshipintheeyesofwesternpeoplearequitedifferentfromthatofChinese.Thosepeoplewhowerechancedonlikepatchesofdriftingduckweedcanbefriends.Furthermore,forthefriendship,thewesternpeoplearemorecasualcomparedwithourChinese.WhatCanYouExpectfromYourFriends?AfriendinChinaissomeonewhocanfeelthatyouareintrouble,andofferassistancebeforeyouaskfor.InChinatherearefewlimitsonwhatyoucanaskorexpectfromafriend.Youfeelfreetotellyourfriendswhathe/shecanorshoulddotohelpyouorpleaseyou.WhatCanYouExpectfromYourFriends?Inwesterncountries,youcancertainlyaskafriendtodosomethingforyou,butyouwouldnotexpectafriendtorecognizeandrespondyourwillwithoutstatingthemexplicitly.Therearelimitsonwhatyoucanexpectfromafriend.Whenyouaskforhelpinwesterncountries,youshouldrecognizethatthefriendmaysayno.Howlongcanfriendshiplast?Chineseseemtoexpecttheirfriendshiptostaythesameoveralongperiodoftime,maybeforalifetime.Atruefriendshipisarelationshipenduresthroughanychanges.Inwesterncountriesanindividuallikelytochangeeventheir‘’bestfriend’’.Thereasonisthatfriendship,likemanyotherrelationshipsinwesterncountries,especiallythecountryliketheUnitedStates,wouldencounterfrequentalteration.Ifpeopleinvolveddon’tseeeachotherandinteractregularly,therelationshipisprobablywither.Howmuchcanyoudependonyourfriends?Chinesefriendsgiveeachothermoreconcretehelpandassistancethanwesternfriendsdo.AChinesewillusepersonalnetworkingtohelpafriendtogetsomethinghardtoobtainsuchasajob.Wewillevenhelpourfriendgetoutoftheireconomichardshipbylendingthemmoneyandrequirenointerest.Howmuchcanyoudependonyourfriends?Peopleprefertobeindependentratherthaninvolvedwitheachotherinthewest.Sotheymayfeeluncomfortableinarelationshipinwhichonepersonisconstantlygivingandtheotheroneonlydependonwhat’sbegiven.Howmuchcanyouexpectfromyourfriends?Chinesetendtocommunicatewithothersinanindirectway.Butinclosepersonalrelationshipssuchasfriendship,weusuallyperformanoppositeway.ThetalkbetweenChinesefriendswouldprobablysoundtoodirecttowesternears.Howmuchcanyouexpectfromyourfriends?Americansapologizetotheirfriendsforminorinconveniencessuchastelephoninglateatnight.Eveninclosefriendshiptheychoosepoliteformsincommunicationlike‘’Couldyou…’’and‘’Wouldyoumind…’’中国——朋友的朋友=朋友，朋友的敌人=敌人TheWest------friendsofmyfriends=?Foesofmyfriends=?Becauseofthedifferencesamongthedefinitionoffriendship,theattitudestowardsthetreatmentoffriendandhowtomaintainafriendshipvaryfromChinaandthewest.AndthedifferentlyexpectedreturnbetweenChineseandthewestwouldmisleadourinterculturalcommunication.Therefore,thepeopleofChinaandthewestshouldpromotetheirculturalexchanges.Wemustunderstandeachothers’differentculturalpracticesandsocialcustom.Thatmeanscross-culturalcommunicationbetweenChinaandthewestwillshowmoreprofoundandfar-reachingsignificanceinthelongterm.Conclusion