Literally

1LiterallyMyproblemwithcountrylivingbeganinnocentlyenoughwhenourwellrandryandaneighborsaidsomepumpprimingwouldbenecessary.“Ididn’tcomeupheretodiscusseconomics,”Isaid.Actually,Idon’tunderstandeconomics.There’snouserevealingthat,though,toeveryTom,DickandHarrywhointerruptshisdinnertotrytogetyourwaterrunning,soIsaid,“Icomeupheretogetawayfromthatsortofthing.”Myneighborgavemeapuzzledlook.“He’stalkingaboutthewaterpump,”Alicetoldme.“Itneedspriming.”Ithoughtthatexperiencemighthavebeenjustafluke—until,onafishingtripwiththesameneighbor,IproudlypulledinafishwithwhatIthoughtwasamajordisplayofdeep-seaangling(钓鱼)skill,onlytohearavoicebehindmesay,“it’sjustafluke.”“Thisisdangerous,”IsaidtoAlice,whilehelpingherweedthevegetablegardenthenextday.Ihadthoughtourproblemwaslimitedtothepump-primingichthyologist(鱼类学家)downtheroad,butthatmorningatthepostofficeIhadoverheardafamersaythatsinceweseemedtobeinforafewdaysofgoodweatherheintendedtomakehishaywhilethesunwasshining.“Thesepeoplearerobbingmeofaphorisms(格言),”Isaid,takingadvantageofthediscussiontorestforawhileonmyhoe.“HowcanIencouragethechildrentotakeadvantageofopportunitiesbytellingthemtomakehaywhilethesunshinesiftheythinkthatmeansmakinghaywhilethesunshines?”“Couldyoupleasekeepingweedingthosepeaswhileyoutalk,”shesaid.“You’vegotalongrowtohoe.”IbegantolookatAlicewithneweyes.Bythat,ofcourse,Idon’tmeanthatIactuallywenttoadiscounteyeoutlet,acquiredtwoneweyes(20/20thistime),replacedmyoldeyeswiththenewonesandlookedatAlice.HavingtomakethatexplanationisjustthesortofthingIfoundtroubling.WhatImeanisthatIwasworriedaboutthepossibilityofAlice’sfallingintothehabitofruralliteralism(拘泥于字面意思)herself.MyconcernwasdeepenedafewdayslaterbyaconversationthattookplacewhileIwasinoneofourappletreeslookingforanapplethatwasnotusedasadacha(乡间别墅)bythelocalworms.“IjusttalkedtotheMurrays,andtheysaythatthesecretispickingupwindfalls,”Alicesaid.“Windfalls?”Isaid.“CoulditbethatJimMurrayhastakenoverExxon(埃克森石油公司)sincelasttimeIsawhim?OrdotheMurrayshavea2natural-gasoperationinthebackforty(未开发的大片土地)Ididn’tknowabout?”“Notthosekindsofwindfalls,”Alicesaid.“Theapplesthatfallfromthetreebecauseofthewind.They’reabreedingplaceforworms.”“There’snothingwrongwithourapples,”Isaidreachingforaparticularlyplumpone.“Becareful,”shesaid.“Youmaybegettingyourselftoofaroutonalimb.”“Yourmaybegettingyourselfoutonalimbyourself,”IsaidtoAliceatbreakfastthenextmorning.Shelookedaroundtheroom.“I’msittingatthekitchentable,”shesaid.“Imeantitsymbolically,”Isaid.“Thewayitwasmeanttobemeant.Thishasgottostop.Iwon’thaveyoucominginfromthegardenwithsmallpotatoesinyourbasketandsayingthatwhatyoufoundwasjustsmallpotatoes.‘smallpotatoes’doesn’tmeansmallpotatoes.”“Smallpotatoesdoesn’tmeansmallpotatoes?”“Irefusetodiscussit,”Isaid.“Thetide’sin,soI’mgoingfishing,andIdon’twanttohearanyencouragingtalkaboutthatflukenotbeingtheonlyfishintheocean.”“Iwasjustgoingtoaskwhyyouhavetoleavebeforeyoufinishyourbreakfast,”shesaid.“Becausetimeandtidewaitfornoman,”Isaid.“AndImeanit.”Hadshetrappedmeintosayingthat?OrwasitpossiblethatIwasfallingintothehabitmyself?WasI,asIwaitedforabite,thinkingthattherewereplentyofotherfishinthesea?ThenIhadabite—thenanother.IforgotabouttheproblemuntilafterIhadreturnedtothedockanddonemymostskillfuljoboffilleting(切片).“Look!”Isaid,holdingupthecarcass(残留部分)ofonefishproudly,asAliceapproachedthedock,“It’snothingbutskinandbones.”TheshockofrealizingwhatIhadsaidcausedmetostumbleagainstmyfish-cleaningtableandknockthefilletsoffthedock.“Nowwewon’thaveanythingfordinner,”Isaid.“Don’tworryaboutit,”Alicesaid.“Ihaveotherfishtofry.”“That’snotright!”Ishouted.“That’snotwhatthatmeans.Itmeansyouhavesomethingbettertodo.”“ItcanalsomeanthatIhaveotherfishtofry,”shesaid.“AndIdo.I’lljustgetthatotherfishyoucaughtoutofthefreezer.Eventhoughitwasjustafluke.”3Itriedtocalmmyself.IapologizedtoAliceforshoutingandofferedtohelpherpickvegetablesfromthegardenfordinner.“I’lltrytowatchmylanguage,”shesaid,aswestoodamongthepeas.“It’sallright,really,”Isaid.“Iwasjustgoingtosaythattonightitseemsratherslimpickings,”shesaid.“Justabouteverythinghasgonetoseed.”“Perfectlyallright,”Isaid,wanderingovertowardthegardenshed,wheresomemudseemedtobecakedintheeaves(屋檐).Ipushedatthemudwitharake(耙子),andaswarmofwasps(黄蜂)burstoutatme.Iranforthehouse,swatting(猛击)atwaspswithmyhat.Inside,Isuddenlyhadthefeelingthatsomeofthemhadmanagedtocrawlupthelegsofmyjeans,andItorethejeansoff.Alicefoundmethereinthekitchen,standingquietlyinwhattheEnglishcalltheirsmalls.“Thatdoesit,”Isaid.“We’regoingbacktothecity.”“Justbecauseofafewstings?”“Can’tyouseewhathappened?”Isaid.“Theyscaredthepansoffme.”