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Ifeelsorryforpeoplewhodon'tdrinkThemostlikelywayfortheworldtobedestroyed,mostexpertsagree,isbyaccident.That'swherewecomein;we'recomputerprofessionals.Wecauseaccidents.NathanielBorensteinIdon'tthinksexcouldeverbeasrewardingaswinningtheWorldCup.It'snotthatsexisnotgreat;justthattheWorldCupisonlyeveryfouryearsandsexisalotmoreregularthanthat.RonaldoOnlyLawyersandmentaldefectivesareautomaticallyexemptforjuryduty.GeorgeBernardShawIdluvtokissya,butIjustwashedmyhair.BetteDavisAverbalcontractisn'tworththepaperitiswrittenon.SamGoldwynThegreatthingabouttelevisionisthatifsomethingimportanthappensanywhereintheworld,dayornight,youcanalwayschangethechannel.FromTaxiIwouldtalkiniambicpentameterifitwereeasier.HowardNemerovTherehasbeenonlyoneChristmas-therestareanniversaries.W.J.Cameron.TheLabourPartyhaslostthelastfourelections.Iftheyloseanother,theygettokeeptheliberalparty.CliveAnderson.NobodyeverwentbrokeunderestimatingthetasteoftheAmericanpublic.H.L.MenckenAgovernmentthatrobsPetertopayPaulcanalwaysdependonthesupportofPaul.GeorgeBernardShawDocumentationislikesex:whenitisgood,itisvery,verygood;andwhenitisbad,itisbetterthannothing.DickBrandonAnidealformofgovernmentisdemocracytemperedwithassassination.Voltaire.HelookedatforeignaffairsthroughthewrongendofamunicipaldrainpipeOnNevilleChamberlainWinstonChurchillIhavenevertakenanyexercise,exceptsleepingandresting.MarkTwainBeforesoftwarecanbereusableitfirsthastobeusable.RalphJohnsonPleaseacceptmyresignation.Idon'twanttobelongtoanyclubthatwillacceptmeasamember.GrouchoMarxSubmittedbyJensenHallSquaresarescary,butheartsareworthlovingMartyrdom:Theonlywayamancanbecomefamouswithoutability.BernardShawProgrammingtodayisaracebetweensoftwareengineersstrivingtobuildbiggerandbetteridiot-proofprograms,andtheUniversetryingtoproducebiggerandbetteridiots.Sofar,theUniverseiswinning.RichCook.Aboutthemostoriginalitythatanywritercanhopetoachievehonestlyistostealwithgoodjudgment.JoshBillingsTheuseofCOBOLcripplesthemind;itsteachingshouldthereforeberegardedasacriminaloffenseEdsgerDijkstraWhatcontemptiblescoundrelhasstolenthecorktomylunch?W.ClementStoneDebuggingistwiceashardaswritingthecodeinthefirstplace.Therefore,ifyouwritethecodeascleverlyaspossible,youare,bydefinition,notsmartenoughtodebugit.BrianW.KernighanOnlyonethingisimpossibleforGod:Tofindanysenseinanycopyrightlawontheplanet.MarkTwain.WhatIdon'tlikeaboutofficeChristmaspartiesislookingforajobthenextday.PhyllisDiller.Don'ttalktomeaboutNavaltradition!It'snothingbutrum,sodomyandthelash.WinstonChurchillSubmittedbyKrisCantuIfRudolphisthemostfamousreindeerofall,whydoesthatguyaskifyourecallhim?Theonlydifferencebetweendoctorsandlawyersisthatlawyersmerelyrobyou,whereasdoctorsrobyouandkillyou,too.AntonChekhovThere'ssomuchpollutionintheairnowthatifitweren'tforourlungsthere'dbenoplacetoputitall.RobertOrben.SubmittedbyDebbieReedsAwaytoaman'sheartisthroughhisstomach.Awaytoawoman'sheartistoscratchunderherbrastrap!Don'thaveacow,man.BartSimpsonThewirelessmusicboxhasnoimaginablecommercialvalue.Whowouldpayforamessagesenttonobodyinparticular?DavidSarnoff'sassociatesinresponsetohisurgingforinvestmentintheradiointhe1920s.TheCompleteAnglerisacknowledgedtobeoneoftheworld'sbooks.Onlythetroubleisthattheworlddoesn'treaditsbooks,itborrowsadetectivestoryinstead.StephenLeacock.Oh,nowthere'sonlyonekindoflovethatlasts.That'sunrequitedlove.Itstayswithyouforever.WoodyAllenI'dliketohelpyouout.Whichwaydidyoucomein?Modernartiswhathappenswhenpaintersstoplookingatgirlsandpersuadethemselvestheyhaveabetteridea.JohnCiardi.Thetroublewithchildrenisthatthey'renotreturnable.QuentinCrisp.TheHolocaustwasanobsceneperiodinournation'shistory.Imeaninthiscentury'shistory.Butwealllivedinthiscentury.Ididn'tliveinthiscentury.DanQuayle15/9/88Computersareuseless.Theycanonlygiveyouanswers.PabloPicasso.I'mallinfavorofkeepingdangerousweaponsoutofthehandsoffools.Let'sstartwithtypewriters.SolomonShortYoucantellGermanwinefromvinegarbythelabel.MarkTwainIfitsells,it'sart.FrankLloyd.Onlythosewhoattempttheabsurdcanachievetheimpossible.ThereisnothingfunnyaboutHalloween.Thissarcasticfestivalreflects,rather,aninfernaldemandforrevengebychildrenontheadultworld.JeanBaudrillard.Nothingsucceedslikeexcess.OscarWildeComputerScienceisnomoreaboutcomputersthanastronomyisabouttelescopesEWDijkstra.Starteverydayoffwithasmileandgetitoverwith.W.C.FieldsYoucannothaveeverything.Imean,wherewouldyouputit?StevenWright.LadyAstortoChurchillWinston,ifyouweremyhusbandIwouldflavoryourcoffeewithpoisonChurchill:Madam,ifIwereyourhusband,IshoulddrinkitWinstonChurchillYoucangetmuchfurtherwithakindwordandagunthanyoucanwithakindwordalone.AlCapone.Somethingsarebetterthansex,andsomeareworse,butthere'snothingexactlylikeit.W.C.FieldsIusedtobeSnowWhite,butIdrifted.MaeWestIsthereanythingwornunderthekilt?No,it'sallinperfectworkingorder.SpikeMilliganThereisonethingIwouldbreakupoverandthatisifshecaughtmewithanotherwoman.Iwouldn'tstandforthat.SteveMartin.Ioftentakeexercise.WhyonlyyesterdayIhadbreakfastinbed.OscarWildeNeverworryaboutthesizeofyourChristmastree.In
本文标题:I feel sorry for people who dont drink
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