billy_and_the_big_stick(比利和粗棍子)

BILLYANDTHEBIGSTICK1BILLYANDTHEBIGSTICKRichardHardingDavisBILLYANDTHEBIGSTICK2HadtheWilmotElectricLightpeopleremainedcontentonlytomakelight,hadtheynot,asaby-product,attemptedtomakemoney,theyneednothaveleftHayti.WhentheyfloodedwithradiancetheunpavedstreetsofPort-au-Princenoone,exceptthepolice,whocomplainedthatthelightskeptthemawake,madeobjection;butwhenforthisilluminationtheWilmotCompanydemandedpayment,everyoneuptoPresidentHamilearPoussevainwassurprisedandgrieved.SogrievedwasPresidentHam,ashewaslovinglydesignated,thathewithdrewtheWilmotconcession,surroundedthepower-housewithhisbarefootedarmy,andinaproclamationannouncedthatforthefuturethefurnishingofelectriclightwouldbeamonopolyofthegovernment.InHayti,assoonasitbeginstomakemoney,anyindustry,nativeorforeign,becomesamonopolyofthegovernment.Thethingworksautomatically.ItiswhatinHaytiisunderstoodasBAUTEFINANCE.TheWilmotpeopleshouldhaveknownthat.Becausetheydidnotasvice-consul,lawandorderwereassolidlyestablishedasthestonejetties,andbycontrasttheeccentricitiesoftheBlackREPUBLICbaffledanddistressedhim.Itcan'tbethatyoublackmailthepresident,saidtheconsul,becauseIunderstandheboastshehascommittedalltheknowncrimes.Andseveralheinvented,agreedBilly.Andyoucan'tdoitwithagun,becausetheytellmethepresidentisn'tafraidofanythingexceptavoodoopriestess.Whatisyoursecret?coaxedtheconsul.Ifyou'llonlysellit,IknowseveralPowersthatwouldgiveyouyourprice.Billysmiledmodestly.It'sverysimple,hesaid.ThefirsttimemywageswereshyIwenttothepalaceandtoldhimifhedidn'tcomeacrossI'dshutoffthejuice.Ithinkhewassostunnedatanybodyaskinghimforrealmoneythatwhilehewasstillstunnedheopenedhissafeandhandedmetwothousandfrancs.Ithinkhediditmoreinadmirationformynervethanbecauseheowedit.Thenexttimepay-dayarrived,andthepaydidnot,Ididn'tgotothepalace.Ijustwenttobed,andthelightswenttobed,too.YoumayBILLYANDTHEBIGSTICK3remember?Theconsulsnortedindignantly.Iwasholdingthreequeensatthetime,heprotested.WasitYOUdidthat?Itwas,saidBilly.Thepolicecameformetostartthecurrentgoingagain,butIsaidIwastooill.Thenthepresident'sowndoctorcame,oldGautier,andGautierexaminedmewithalanternandsaidthatinHaytimydiseasefrequentlyprovedfatal,buthethoughtifIturnedonthelightsImightrecover.ItoldhimIwastiredoflife,anyway,butthatifIcouldseethreethousandfrancsitmightgivemeanincentive.Hereportedbacktothepresidentandthethreethousandfrancsarrivedalmostinstantly,andachickenbrothfromHam'sownchef,withHisExcellency'sbestwishesfortherecoveryoftheinvalid.Myrecoverywasinstantaneous,andIswitchedonthelights.IhadjustmovedintotheWidowDucrot'shotelthatweek,andherdaughterClairewouldn'tletmeeatthebroth.Ithoughtitwasbecause,asshe'sadandycookherself,shewasprofessionallyjealous.Sheputthebrothonthetopshelfofthepantryandwroteonapieceofpaper,'Gare!'Butthenextmorningaperfectlygoodcat,whoapparentlycouldn'tread,waslyingbesideitdead.Theconsulfrownedreprovingly.Youshouldnotmakesuchrecklesscharges,heprotested.Iwouldcallitonlyacoincidence.Youcancallitwhatyouplease,saidBilly,butitwon'tbringthecatback.Anyway,thenexttimeIwenttothepalacetocollect,thepresidentwasreadyforme.Hesaidhe'dbeentakingoutinformation,andhefoundifIshutoffthelightsagainhecouldhireanothermanintheStatestoturnthemon.Itoldhimhe'dbeendeceived.ItoldhimtheWilmotElectricLightswereproducedbyasecretprocess,andthatonlyatrainedWilmotmancouldworkthem.AndIpointedouttohimifhedismissedmeitwasn'tlikelytheWilmotpeoplewouldloanhimanotherexpert;notwhiletheywerefightinghimthroughthecourtsandtheStateDepartment.Thatimpressedtheoldman;soIissuedmyultimatum.Isaidifhemusthaveelectriclightshemusthaveme,too.Whetherhelikeditornot,minewasalifejob.BILLYANDTHEBIGSTICK4Whatdidhesaytothat?gaspedthenewconsul.Saiditwasn'talifejob,becausehewasgoingtohavemeshotatsunset.Thenyousaid?Isaidifhedidthattherewouldn'tbeanyelectriclights,andyouwouldbringawarshipandshootHaytioffthemap.Thenewconsulwasmostindignant.Youhadnorighttosaythat!heprotested.Youdidveryill.Myinstructionsaretoavoidallseriouscomplications.ThatwaswhatIwastryingtoavoid,saidBilly.Don'tyoucallbeingshotatsunsetaseriouscomplication?Orwouldthatbejustacoincidence,too?You'reahellofaconsul!SincehistalkwiththerepresentativeofhiscountryfourmonthshadpassedandBillystillheldhisjob.ButeachmonththenumberoffrancshewasabletowrestfromPresidentHamilcardwindled,andwerewononlyafterverbalconflictsthateachmonthincreasedinviolence.Totheforeigncolonyitbecameevidentthat,inthesideofPresidentHam,Billywasathorn,sharp,irritating,virulent,andthatatanymomentHammightpluckthatthornandBillywouldleaveHaytiinhaste,andprobablyinhand-cuffs.ThiswasevidenttoBilly,also,andtheprospectwasmostdisquieting.NotbecausehelovedHayti,butbecausesincehewenttolodgeatthecafeoftheWidowDucrot,hehadlearnedtoloveherdaughterClaire,andClairelovedhim.OnthetwothousanddollarsduehimfromHamtheyplottedtomarry.Thiswasnotasgreatanadventureasitmightappear.BillyknewthatfromtheWilmotpeoplehealwayswassureofasalary,andonewhich,withsuchanexcellenthousekeeperaswasClaire,wouldsupportthemboth.Butwithhistwothousanddollarsascapitaltheycouldaffordtoplunge;theycouldgouponahoneymo