最新英语脱口秀

Higuys,longtimenosee,havebeenawhilenottalkingtoyouguys.Welcometothebrandnewtalkshow,NickintheHouse.Iwilltalkaboutthingslikemyself,orthehotsocialtopics.Ihopeyoulikeit.大家好，好久不见，有段时间没跟大家见面了。欢迎大家来到我全新的脱口秀视频，我在这里会用自己的方式点评下社会热点自己身边的趣事等等。希望你们能喜欢。IheardthattheTraditionalChineseEnglishishotnow.AlotofpeoplehadwatchedvideothataCCTVjournalistwasinterviewingaZanbiyadevelopmentdirectorAndrew.Theclassicsentenceis:HowdoyouseeChina'sDE'VE'LO'P'MENTinRE'CENT'LYyears.Igottosaythatitwasreallyfun.ButIthinkthisjournalistwillbeunderalotofpressure,comeon,givetheguyabreak.Furthermore,Englishisjustalanguagetool,ifyoucanunderstandwhatIamtalkingabout,AndrewcanunderstandswhatIamtalkingabout,Lileihanmeimeicanunderstandeachother,sothatisenough.(justlikecursing,youunderstandit,andyoucursingbackneedaaccent?)(动作骂人)Mostimportantly,accentisabeautifulthing;itispasseddownfromourpioneers,generationfromgeneration.Werespecttheculture,Iamreallyproudofit,becauseIhaveanaccent.我听说中国传统#中式英语#最近又火了。相信许多人都看了那段央视记者用英语采访赞比亚发展委总监“按住”先生。那句最经典的：HowdoyouseeChina'sDE'VE'LO'P'MENTinRE'CENT'LYyears，我不得不说，这段视频很有趣。但是我想这个记者现在身上一定有着不小的压力，朋友们，放他一马吧。再说了，英语其实就是一个语言工具，如果你明白我在说什么，“按住”先生明白我在说什么，李雷韩美美互相能明白对方的意思，这就足够了。就像骂人一样，你听明白了，回骂就够了，需要口音吗？最重要的是，口音是一种特有的艺术，它也是一辈传一辈，代代相传下来的。我们尊重传统文化，我有口音，我骄傲！AccordingtoSomeofficialpublicitydepartment’sreport,therearearound100floatingbodiesincertainareafromYellowrivereveryyear,butitissaidthatitwon’taffectthewater’squality,whichmeetsthenationalwaterstandard.Somepeoplearewhiningaboutit:no,thewaterisbad,thisismycountry,fullofitscharacteristic,blabalbal.Don’tbitchaboutit;youguyshavedrunkitforhundredsofyears,nowyoubecomeasmarty?Hang*3?Suckitup,likePeterRussellsaid,beaman!Mommy,today’swatertastelikepig,shutupanddrinkit,don’tbeasissygirl,beaman.Mommy,today’swatertastelikediesel,drinkit,shutupanddrinkit,don’tbeasissygirl,beaman.Mommy,today’swatertastelikeshittyfeet,drinkit,shutupanddrinkit,don’tbeasissygirl,beasuperman.根据某宣传部通报：平均每年在黄河某段漂浮的尸体约有100具，水质正常，符合标准，未出现因浮尸影响黄河水质情况.但是有些人就开始抱怨了，擦，水质太差，这就是我们的家园，太富有China特色了，等等等。各位别吵吵了，老百姓都喝了好几百年了，怎么现在才想起了呢？啊啊啊？适者生存，就像PeterRussell常说的，爷们点！！妈妈，今天这水喝起来跟腐味猪汤一个味。闭嘴悄悄喝，别像个小孩一样，要像爷们一样去战斗。妈妈，今天这水喝起来跟柴油一个味。闭嘴悄悄喝，别像个小孩一样，像爷们一样去战斗。妈妈，今天这水喝起来跟Cua赛的臭脚一个味，闭嘴悄悄喝，别像个小孩一样，像能飞的爷们一样去战斗。WhatalegendarywinbyChinesefootballteam,amazingandunbelievablevictoryfortheteamalsofortheirpeople,theyaretheheroesofalltimes.Thewholenationisgoingcrazyaboutthis.Thenationaltelevisionreportedthisrepeatedly,thewholeworldcannotoverlookthefootballpowerofChina.Dotheywintheworldcup?Notheydon’t,theyjustwinonematch.中国男子足球队获得了史诗般的胜利，人们都在感叹这次不可思议的胜利，他们就是民族英雄。我们的骄傲。整个国家都陷入的狂喜当中。国家电视每天都在播放着胜利的消息。世界再也不能小看这个足球的王国。他们赢得了世界杯了吗？不，他们刚刚1比0赢了一场预选赛比赛。Therearesomestraycatsinaresidentialestate,LadyQusedtofeedthestraycat,therewasoneday,LadySwaswalkingherdog,suddenlyherdoggotintoafightwithastraycat,LadyScouldn’tstandthereandwatched,soshehelpedherdogtofightthecat,butshewasscratchedbythecatduringthebattle.(Ping)no,that’sWolverine.SoLadySdecidedtosueLadyQ,LadyQwasshotonthekneels.FinallythecourtverdictwasthatLadyQsharedthehalfoftheresponsibilitybecauseshefedthecats.Idon’tknowhowtocommentonthat,Ijustwanttowarnthepeople,wholiketogotothezooandfeedthelion,don’tdothatanymore,ifwegotajumperthere,yougottopayhisass.某小区有流浪猫，乔女士经常对流浪猫喂投食物。有一天，肖女士出门溜狗，狗跟流浪猫打起来了，肖女士冲上前，与狗狗联手大战流浪猫，结果被流浪猫抓伤。喂猫的乔女士躺枪被告上法庭，最终法庭判乔女士承担一半的责任。我不知道怎样去评论这条新闻，我只想警告某些爱逛动物园的人。别再去野生动物园喂狮子了，太危险了，如果有人跳进狮圈自杀，你还得买他一半单。WhatalegendarywinbyChinesefootballteam,amazingandunbelievablevictoryfortheteamalsofortheirpeople,theyaretheheroesofalltimes.Thewholenationisgoingcrazyaboutthis.Thenationaltelevisionreportedthisrepeatedly,thewholeworldcannotoverlookthefootballpowerofChina.Dotheywintheworldcup?Notheydon’t,theyjustwinonematch.中国男子足球队获得了史诗般的胜利，人们都在感叹这次不可思议的胜利，他们就是民族英雄。我们的骄傲。整个国家都陷入的狂喜当中。国家电视每天都在播放着胜利的消息。世界再也不能小看这个足球的王国。他们赢得了世界杯了吗？不，他们刚刚1比0赢了一场预选赛比赛。herearesomestraycatsinaresidentialestate,LadyQusedtofeedthestraycat,therewasoneday,LadySwaswalkingherdog,suddenlyherdoggotintoafightwithastraycat,LadyScouldn’tstandthereandwatched,soshehelpedherdogtofightthecat,butshewasscratchedbythecatduringthebattle.(Ping)no,that’sWolverine.SoLadySdecidedtosueLadyQ,LadyQwasshotonthekneels.FinallythecourtverdictwasthatLadyQsharedthehalfoftheresponsibilitybecauseshefedthecats.Idon’tknowhowtocommentonthat,Ijustwanttowarnthepeople,wholiketogotothezooandfeedthelion,don’tdothatanymore,ifwegotajumperthere,yougottopayhisass.某小区有流浪猫，乔女士经常对流浪猫喂投食物。有一天，肖女士出门溜狗，狗跟流浪猫打起来了，肖女士冲上前，与狗狗联手大战流浪猫，结果被流浪猫抓伤。喂猫的乔女士躺枪被告上法庭，最终法庭判乔女士承担一半的责任。我不知道怎样去评论这条新闻，我只想警告某些爱逛动物园的人。别再去野生动物园喂狮子了，太危险了，如果有人跳进狮圈自杀，你还得买他一半单。YouguysallknowthatIhaveadaughternow,thanks,yeahIknow,Iamsuchacooldad.AndItoldmemyfriendaboutthis,hesaidcongratulationtoyou,man!Isaidthanks,that’sveryniceofyoutosaythat.Hesaid,no,congratulationtoyou,welcometotheclub.Yoursufferingdayshadjustbegun..(Idon’tknowheislaughingorcrying)(表情)ActuallyIdon’tbelievethatcrapinthefirsttime,howharditcouldbe?ThenIfoundheisnotlying.Mydaughterhadjustreachedherrebelliousperiod，everyfather’snightmare.Screamingreallyloudwithoutareason,beingadditive