The-Myth-of-the-Latin-Woman-I-Just-Met-a-Girl-Mari

TheMythoftheLatinWoman:IJustMetaGirlMariaCulturesOnabustriptoLondonfromOxfordUniversitywhereIwasearningsomegraduatecreditsonesummer,ayoungman,obviouslyfreshfromapub,spottedmeandasifstruckbyinspirationwentdownonhiskneesintheaisle.WithbothhandsoverhishearthebrokeintoanIrishtenor'srenditionofMariafromWestSideStory.Mypolitelyamusedfellowpassengersgavehislovelyvoicetheroundofgentleapplauseitdeserved.ThoughIwasnotquiteasamused,ImanagedmyversionofanEnglishsmile:noshowofteeth,noextremecontortionsofthefacialmuscles--Iwasatthistimeofmylifepracticingreserveandcool.Oh,thatBritishcontrol,howIcovetedit.ButMariahadfollowedmetoLondon,remindingmeofaprimefactofmylife:youcanleavetheisland,mastertheEnglishlanguage,andtravelasfarasyoucan,butifyouareaLatina,especiallyonelikemewhosoobviouslybelongstoRitaMoreno'sgenepool,theislandtravelswithyou.Thisissometimesaverygoodthing--itmaywinyouthatextraminuteofsomeone'sattention.Butwithsomepeople,thesamethingscanmakeyouanisland--notatropicalparadisebutanAlcatraz,aplacenobodywantstovisit.AsaPuertoRicangirllivingintheUnitedStatesandwantinglikemostchildrentobelong,IresentedthestereotypethatmyHispanicappearancecalledforthfrommanypeopleImet.GrowingupinalargeurbancenterinNewJerseyduringthe1960s,IsufferedfromwhatIthinkofasculturalschizophrenia.Ourlifewasdesignedbymyparentsasamicrocosmoftheircasasontheisland.WespokeinSpanish,atePuertoRicanfoodboughtatthebodega,andpracticedstrictCatholicismatachurchthatallottedusaone-hoursloteachweekformass,performedinSpanishbyaChinesepriesttrainedasamissionaryforLatinAmerica.AsagirlIwaskeptunderstrictsurveillancebymyparents,sincemyvirtueandmodestywere,bytheirculturalequation,thesameastheirhonor.AsateenagerIwaslecturedconstantlyonhowtobehaveasapropersenorita.ButitwasaconflictingmessageIreceived,sincethePuertoRicanmothersalsoencouragedtheirdaughterstolookandactlikewomenandtodressinclothesourAnglofriendsandtheirmothersfoundtoomatureandflashy.Thedifferencewas,andis,cultural;yetIoftenfelthumiliatedwhenIappearedatanAmericanfriend'spartywearingadressmoresuitabletoasemi-formalthantoaplayroombirthdaycelebration.AtPuertoRicanfestivities,neitherthemusicnorthecolorsweworecouldbetooloud.IrememberCareerDayinourhighschool,whenteacherstoldustocomedressedasifforajobinterview.ItquicklybecameobviousthattothePuertoRicangirlsdressingupmeantwearingtheirmother’sornatejewelryandclothing,moreappropriate(bymainstreamstandards)forthecompanyChristmaspartythanasdailyofficeattire.ThatmorningIhadagonizedinfrontofmycloset,tryingtofigureoutwhatacareergirlwouldwear.Iknewhowtodressforschool(attheCatholicschoolIattended,weallworeuniforms),IknewhowtodressforSundaymass,andIknewwhatdressestowearforpartiesatmyrelatives'homes.ThoughIdonotrecalltheprecisedetailsofmyCareerDayoutfit,itmusthavebeenacompositeofthesechoices.ButIrememberacommentmyfriend(anItalianAmerican)madeinlateryearsthatcoalescedmyimpressionsofthatday.Shesaidthatatthebusinessschoolshewasattending,thePuertoRicangirlsalwaysstoodoutforwearingeverythingatonce.Shemeant,ofcourse,toomuchjewelry,toomanyaccessories.Butitwaspainfullyobvioustomethattotheothers,intheirtailoredskirtsandsilkblouses,wemusthaveseemedhopelessandvulgar.ThoughInowknowthatmostadolescentsfeeloutofstepmuchofthetime,IalsoknowthatforthePuertoRicangirlsofmygenerationthatsensewasintensified.Thewayourteachersandclassmateslookedatusthatdayinschoolwasjustatasteoftheculturalclashthatawaitedusintherealworld,whereprospectiveemployersandmenonthestreetwouldoftenmisinterpretourtightskirtsandjinglingbraceletsasacome-on.Itiscustom,however,notchromosomes,thatleadsustochoosescarletoverpalepink.Asyounggirls,itwasourmotherswhoinfluencedourdecisionsaboutclothesandcolors--motherswhohadgrownuponatropicalislandwherethenaturalenvironmentwasariotofprimarycolors,whereshowingyourskinwasonewaytokeepcoolaswellastolooksexy.Mostimportantofall,ontheisland,womenperhapsfeltfreertodressandmovemoreprovocativelysince,inmostcases,theywereprotectedbythetraditions,mores,andlawsofaSpanish/Catholicsystemofmoralityandmachismowhosemainrulewas:Youmaylookatmysister,butifyoutouchherIwillkillyou.Theextendedfamilyandchurchstructurecouldprovideayoungwomanwithacircleofsafetyinhersmallpuebloontheisland;ifamanwrongedagirl,everyonewouldcloseintosaveherfamilyhonor.Itissurprisingtomyprofessionalfriendsthateventodaysomepeople,includingthosewhoshouldknowbetter,stillputothersintheirplace.Ithappenedtomemostrecentlyduringastayataclassymetropolitanhotelfavoredbyyoungprofessionalcouplesforweddings.Lateoneeveningafterthetheater,asIwalkedtowardmyroomwithacolleague(awomanwithwhomIwascoordinatinganartsprogram),amiddle-agedmaninatuxedo,withayounggirlinsatinandlaceonhisarm,steppeddirectlyintoourpath.Withhischampagneglassextendedtowardme,heexclaimedEvita!Ourwayblocked,mycompanionandIlistenedasthemanhalf-recited,half-bellowedDon'tCryforMe,Argentina.Whenhefinished,theyounggirlsaid:Howaboutaroundofapplauseformydaddy?Wecomplied,hopingthiswouldbringthesillyspectacletoaclose.Iwasbecomingawarethatourlittlegroupwasattractingtheattentionoftheotherguests.D