CampusLonliness

CampuslonelinessLoneliness,asoneoffeelingsofmodernpeople,isgettingmoreandmorewidespreadandinfectiousbetweenus,youngpeopleinparticular.(Con)Itseemstome,campusloneliness,asacommonfeelingbetweencollegestudents,maycauseemotionaldistress,angerandfeelingsofanxiousness.(Con)Peoplewhoarelonelytendtobewithdrawnevenfurtherwhentheyhavelimitedsocialinteractionoriftheyhavefearsofbeingrejected.Somepeopleincollegethoughtthattheywerelonely.Inmyview,theirreasonscanbelistedasfollows.Firstly,theyhadtoleavetheirwarmandfamiliarhometoastrangeareaaloneinordertofurthertheirstudyononesubject.(Cen)Therewasnopersontheyknew,andeverycornerwerefullofstrangefaces.(Bal)Therefore,theyfeltlonely,andnoonecaredthem.(Bal)Secondly,theyfailedtofindoneortwointimatefriendwiththesamesexordifferentsexafterlivingaperiodincollege.Forinstance,whenotherscalledtheirclosefriend,wentshoppingwithboyfriendorchattedwithgirlfriend,thosewhowerestillsinglewouldfeeldownandevenlittlejealous.Feelingheart-broken,hewouldbelonely,ifnobodycomprehendhim.(Cen)Thirdly,studywasnotasimportantasitinhighschool.Inuniversity,thereweremoresignificantthingssuchlikecommunicationskills,interpersonalrelationship,healthybodyandsoon.(Cen)Freshman,whowasjustfreefromtheheavyburdenintheirseniorhighschool,didnotknowwhattheyshoulddoexceptstudyhard.(Con)Solotsofthemwereaddictedtoonlineandmobiledevices.Inotherwords,ignorancetowardsarrangementoftheirsparetimemadethemlonely.Forthoseexperiencingloneliness,theproblemdoesnothavetobepermanent,theyjusthavetofindmethodsandactivitiesthathelpthemtoovercomeloneliness.Apersonshouldgetout,andmeetnewpeople.(Bal)What’smore,participatingingroupactivitiesisalsoaneffectivemethod.AsfarasIcansee,extremelonelinessreallymakesonedepressedanddestroysone’sdeterminationlittlebylittle.However,moderateloneliness,whichcouldmakesoneclear-headed,andthinksmorepenetratingabouthisorherlife,isbeneficial.(Con)Henceonecanhaveastraightforwardaimandstruggletotheendforabrightfuture.[名词错误]请检查It，确认大小写正确。[批改提示]people表示“人，民族”。查看与person的区别。1.2(Con)[修改]1.3Peoplewhoarelonelytendtobewithdrawnevenfurtherwhentheyhavelimitedsocialinteractionoriftheyhavefearsofbeingrejected.[修改][动词错误]请检查arelonelytend，确认动词用法正确。[搭配学习]动名搭配limit...interaction在教材中出现过20次[搭配学习]动名搭配have...fear在教材中出现过1813次[批改提示]people表示“人，民族”。查看与person的区别。第2段2.1Somepeopleincollegethoughtthattheywerelonely.[修改][批改提示]people表示“人，民族”。查看与person的区别。2.2Inmyview,theirreasonscanbelistedasfollows.[修改][批改提示]reason表示“原因，理由”。注意与cause的区别。详情点击2.3Firstly,theyhadtoleavetheirwarmandfamiliarhometoastrangeareaaloneinordertofurthertheirstudyononesubject.[修改][搭配错误]搭配furtherstudy在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语。[搭配学习]动名搭配leave...home在教材中出现过1514次2.4(Cen)[修改]2.5Therewasnopersontheyknew,andeverycornerwerefullofstrangefaces.[修改][句子错误]请检查were，确认主谓一致。[搭配学习]动名搭配know...person在教材中出现过421次[批改提示]person表示“人”。注意与people的区别。详情点击2.6(Bal)[修改]2.7Therefore,theyfeltlonely,andnoonecaredthem.[修改]2.8(Bal)[修改]2.9Secondly,theyfailedtofindoneortwointimatefriendwiththesamesexordifferentsexafterlivingaperiodincollege.[修改][搭配错误]搭配livingperiod在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语。[其他]请检查friend，注意名词数的一致性。[搭配学习]动名搭配find...friend在教材中出现过15次2.10Forinstance,whenotherscalledtheirclosefriend,wentshoppingwithboyfriendorchattedwithgirlfriend,thosewhowerestillsinglewouldfeeldownandevenlittlejealous.[修改][动词错误]动词go后面建议添加介词to[批改提示]注意close和nearby区别。[搭配学习]动名搭配call...friend在教材中出现过3次[批改提示]注意would和usedto的区别。2.11Feelingheart-broken,hewouldbelonely,ifnobodycomprehendhim.[修改][批改提示]注意would和usedto的区别。2.12(Cen)[修改]2.13Thirdly,studywasnotasimportantasitinhighschool.[修改][高分表达]高分词组，as...as意为“和...一样地...”,第一个as为副词，表“一样地”，而第二个as则为连接词，表“和，与”之意。2.14Inuniversity,thereweremoresignificantthingssuchlikecommunicationskills,interpersonalrelationship,healthybodyandsoon.[修改]2.15(Cen)[修改]2.16Freshman,whowasjustfreefromtheheavyburdenintheirseniorhighschool,didnotknowwhattheyshoulddoexceptstudyhard.[修改][拼写错误]拼写不规范，freshman是不是freshman。[批改提示]注意shall的用法。详情点击[批改提示]except表示“除了（不包括）”。注意与besides的区别。详情点击2.17(Con)[修改]2.18Solotsofthemwereaddictedtoonlineandmobiledevices.[修改][批改提示]查看mobile与movable的区别。[批改提示]注意device和devise区别。[其他]addictedto意思是沉湎于…，是四六级经典短语。2.19Inotherwords,ignorancetowardsarrangementoftheirsparetimemadethemlonely.[修改][其他]towardsarrangementof疑似冠词缺失或可数名词单用。[批改提示]inotherwords的近义表达有putanotherway。第3段3.1Forthoseexperiencingloneliness,theproblemdoesnothavetobepermanent,theyjusthavetofindmethodsandactivitiesthathelpthemtoovercomeloneliness.[修改][句子警示]不同单句之间常用连词连接。[搭配学习]动名搭配find...activity在教材中出现过84次[搭配学习]动名搭配find...method在教材中出现过147次[批改提示]注意activities和activity的区别。[搭配学习]动名搭配experience...loneliness在教材中出现过6次3.2Apersonshouldgetout,andmeetnewpeople.[修改][批改提示]person表示“人”。注意与people的区别。详情点击[批改提示]注意shall的用法。详情点击[批改提示]people表示“人，民族”。查看与person的区别。[搭配学习]动名搭配get...people在教材中出现过5345次3.3(Bal)[修改]3.4What'smore,participatingingroupactivitiesisalsoaneffectivemethod.[修改][批改提示]注意activities和activity的区别。第4段4.1AsfarasIcansee,extremelonelinessreallymakesonedepressedanddestroysone'sdeterminationlittlebylittle.[修改]4.2However,moderateloneliness,whichcouldmakeso