虚拟语气在写作中的提分技巧 作文练习评讲

•欣赏下列两个语段，并指出它们的技巧•1.Briefasthepassageis,itstillarousesmyendlessimaginationtothepasttime.WereIinthepast,IwouldlikethatIstayedinBritaininthe19thcentury,whereandwhentheRevolutionofIndustrywasflourishing.•Withtheinspiringatmosphereofthecreativetimes,Iwouldtrymyutmosttodomyfavoritescientificexperiment,sinceIhavegreatinterestinscience.What’smore,thescientificloverswouldbeinvitedtojoinmylittleclubtoinventsomebrand-newinventionsandcreatenewdesignsofourdailylife’sproducts,cooperatingtoputthetheorywelearnedfrombookstoourpracticallife.InthiswayIcouldgetinspirationofwisdomandresourcefulnesstobringconvenienceandimprovementstoourlife.•2.ShouldIbegiventheopportunitiestotraveltothepast,IwouldliketogobacktoQingDynastyofearly20thcenturywhenChinawasinadisaster.•WereIbackinthelateQingDynasty,IwouldmakeeveryendeavortorescueChinafromtheforeigninvadersandpreventitfrombeingbulliedwithoutresistance.Firstly,Iwouldteachmymoderntheoryandknowledgetothegovernors,instructingthemtofightagainsttheenemiesandconstructpowerfularmies.Secondly,allthecitizenswouldbecalledontounitetogetherandresistothercountries’invasionbravely.What’smore,joiningsomeanti-invaderspartieswouldalsobemychoice.亮点句型写作指导除了虚拟语气外，有许多亮点句型可以应用到写作中，增分添彩。比喻•AistoBwhatCistoD.•Likethesunshine,kindnesscanhelpthoseintrouble.•Kindnessislikethelighthouse,whichcandirectthewayforthosewhoareindimsituation.排比IfIcouldgobacktothepastanddotheabovementionedthings,thelastthingmygrandparememberedwouldnotbetheindifferenceandthebackofhisbelovedgrandson.IfIcouldtravelbackthroughtime,thelastmemorybetweenhimandmewouldnotbehisclosedeyesandthedeadlookofhalf-unconscioussuffering.Thennow,Iwouldnothavetolivewiththisunbearableregretandpainfortherestofmylife.IfonlyIcould!倒装（赢在写作P37-38）•Simpleasthestoryis,•Heregoesthesayingthat___.•Onlywhen_____canwe___.•Onlyinthisway,canwe•Onlybydoing-,canwe____.•Onlyafterdoingsth,canwe•Onthewestoftheschoolliesapond,wheremanyfishareswimming.•Undernocircumstanceshouldwe-•类似的用法：•Never/Bynomeans/onnoaccount/innoway/atnotimeshouldI.•Hardly/scarcelyhadIgotintotheroomwhenitbegantorain.(nosooner，than)•Haditnotbeenforherstickingtobeingontime,shewouldn’thaveearnedherselfawell-paidjobandmoreimportantlybuiltupanimageofreliabilityandintegrity.倒装ShouldIbegiventheopportunitiestotraveltothepast,IwouldliketogobacktoQingDynastyofearly20thcenturywhenChinawasinadisaster.WereIbackinthelateQingDynasty,IwouldmakeeveryendeavortorescueChinafromtheforeigninvadersandpreventitfrombeingbulliedwithoutresistance.亮点写作的注意事项•1.过多的亮点，显得堆砌•对策：亮点分布，尽量首句•2.亮点单一，例如全段排比或比喻•对策：最好总—排比---总的结构。照顾段落的完整性。•3.华而不实，不重视内容，徒有框架没有内容•对策：先想内容，再想修辞手法•4.过多注重运用亮点，没有注意谋篇，顾此失彼•对策：谋好篇，定好每点行数，才能下笔亮点句型写作训练•练习：•1.说明挫折的意义•2.你怎样看待老师对学生的影响。•3.说说你对母爱的理解•4.谈谈决心对人的影响使用虚拟语气写作的注意事项：1.确定到底要不要“虚”？2.确定到底使用哪个时态的“虚”？3.所谓“一虚到底”，其实是指在该假设情境中的虚拟的时态的一致性。而非一定是通段都使用虚拟！一切要看情况进行选用。说说挫折的意义•1.Hardandpainfulasfrustrationis,itisofsignificanceinourlife.Astheoldsayinggoes,“stormmakestreestakedeeperroots”,withoutfrustration,nevercouldwegrowupasastrong-willedperson.Werewesurroundedbyover-praiseandimmersedintheprideandhappiness,frustrationwouldbeatimelyalarm,urgingusnottostopattheso-calledpeakandcontinueyourpaceofpursuit.Wereweconfrontedwithobstacles,frustrationcouldbeaphilosopher‘sstone（魔法石）,withwhichwecouldtransformthetemporarysetbackstogreatopportunitiestobecomestrongerInaword,lifeisnotonlyabouthowtolivethroughthestormbutalsohowtodanceintherain.说说挫折的意义•2.Nevercanweemphasizethesignificanceofsetbacktoomuch.Withoutsetback,ourlifewouldbearoselackingfragrance.Withoutsetback,ourlifewouldbeavoyagelackingdirection.Itisnoexaggerationtosaythatfrustrationhassowntheseedofmaturityandself-developmentinmyinnerheartandhasmadeitpossibleformetoachievegreatsuccess.老师对学生的影响•1.Supposethatteacherswereabsentinourlife,students’lifewouldbeapicturewithintensedarkness.Withoutteachers,thelaboriousengineersofoursoul,students’personalitiesandcharacterswouldnotbeshaped.Withoutteachers,theladderwithselflessdevotion,ourheartwouldnotbeliftedupbyencouragementandgrowmature.Withoutteachers,thesparklinglighthouseintheoceanofknowledge,nevercouldteenagersfindaccesstothesuccessfullifeinthefuture.老师对学生的影响•2.Withoutthepatientandcarefulteachers,nevercouldstudentsgrowfromachildishanddependentchildintoamatureandindependentadult.Withouttheselflessandaffectionatepreachingofteachers,nevercouldstudentsstepontoapathwithabrightandpromisingfuture.Withouttheknowledgeableteachers,neverwouldstudentsmasterthenecessaryknowledgeanddevotethemtotheconstructionofamoreharmonioussocietyandcountry.母爱的理解•1.Withoutmaternalaffection,wewouldchangefromfragrantflowersintoweedsabandonedbyotherswithoutashelterandcare.Withoutthisever-lastingemotion,neverwouldweliveasfullandrichalifeasotherchildrensurroundedbymerrimentandhappiness.母爱的理解•2.Maternalloveislikeacircle.Ithasnobeginningandnoending.Butformotherhood,wewouldbethelittlestrayedlambswhosteponthemistakentrack.Butformotherhood,nevercanwebeenvelopedinwarmthandmerrimentbyapatchofsunlight.Butformotherhood,wecouldbeoverwhelmedbyendlessdarknessandtheworldwouldfadefromcolorfulandwond