符合英文写作习惯的Statement-of-purpose个人陈述范例

Statementofpurpose本文经修改后，作者的学习目的和选择学校的原因显得很清晰、明确，十分令人信服。对比原作者提供的中文稿和专家的修改稿，读者可以清楚地看出中英文写作的区别。AgraduatefromtheHarbinInstituteofTechnologies,aninstitutionofhigherlearningknownforitsselectivity,IhavesolidlygroundedmyselfinadisciplinethatisstillnewinChina,namely,mechatronics.Withfouryearsofstricttrainingandconscientiousstudiesbehind,Iamnowversedinabroadrangeofsubjectsrelatedtothisdiscipline.ButIwouldliketopursuemoreadvancedstudiesinit.InowapplyforacceptanceintoyourMaster'programforthesolereasonthatyourprogramisoneofthefewthatoffergraduatestudiesinmechatronics.（一般而言，开头并不是一定要依时间顺序介绍自己的童年。扼要的阐明自己目前的情况和学习的愿望往往更好。）Ifirstbecamefascinatedwithmakingelectronicdevicesinhighschool.Untilthen,Iwascontentwithmakingmechanicalgadgets,fromwhichIderivedimmensepleasure.Asachild,Imademyowntoyglidersandvacuumcleaners.Inmakingsuchthings,Iinstinctivelygraspedtheprinciplesofaeromechanics.AfterIenteredintojuniorhighschool,Ibegantomakesmallelectronicappliancesbyusingelectricalcircuitboards.AsIexperimentedfornewinventions,Ifeltmoreandmoreconstrainedbythelimitedapproaches.Iyearnedtomakereallyuser-friendlygadgetsanddevicesthatcouldbereadilyacceptedonthemarket.Attheuniversity,Ichosemechatronicsasmymajorforitsinterdisciplinarynature.Builtonthecombinedstrengthofmechanics,electronics,computerscienceandautomaticcontrol,thisgenreofstudiesdoesawaythesingle-mindednessinherentinthepursuitofstudiesinonearea.Withmechatronics,Ibegantocreateamuchlargervarietyofproductsthatcouldservealotofdifferentpurposes.Theonsetofmechatronicsrepresentstomeamajorstepforwardinthemanufacturingtechnology.IthoroughlyenjoyedthefouryearsofmyundergraduatestudiesattheHarbinInstituteofTechnology,amajorcradleofChina'sengineeringtalents.IfoundmostofthecoursesItooknotonlyinstructivebutalsoentertaining.ButIparticularlylikedthehands-onexperiencethattheInstitutealwayspromotedandrequired.Forvirtuallyeverycourseofmymajor,weengagedinassortedexperimentsandprojects.Thecompletionofeachexperimentoracademicpaperbroughtmeimmensesatisfactionbygivingmeanunmistakablesenseofachievement.Ifeelthattechnologymakessenseonlywhenitservessomehumanpurpose.Agoodproductthereforehastobedesignedandtailoredtoconformtohumanhabits,someofwhichmaybebasedonmisperceptionsormisconceptions.Designersofconsumerproductshavetobeawareofandtakeintoconsiderationthosemisperceptionsormisconceptionssothattheproductstheydesignhaveenduringattractiontoconsumers.Allthisiseasiersaidthandone,ofcourse,asitrequiresthedesignersnotonlyasophisticatedunderstandingofhumannaturebutalsosuperbengineeringskillstorealizehisideas.IamgladtosaythatIhaveboth.Alargepartofmystrengthcomesfrommyexpertiseincomputerscience.Makinggooduseofmysparetime,Itaughtmyselfawholerangeofcomputercourses,amongwhichwere:NetworkingandCommunications,OperatingSystems,DataStructureandComputation,ComputerSystemsandTheirPrinciples,SoftwareEngineering,Database,CLanguage,andVisualBasic.Iwasparticularlyfondofimprovingandupgradingmechanicaldevicesbythecombineduseofcomputerizedcontroltechnologyandtheprogrammablelogicalcontroller.MycomputerskillspaidoffwhenIembarkedonmygraduationproject,forwhichIspentonly14daysinsteadofthethreemonthsmostofmyclassmatesspent.Bystudyingmechatronics,Iaminvolvedinoneofthefivehigh-techdisciplinesthattheChinesegovernmentisactivelypromoting.Thankstothestatesponsorship,mydepartmentgroupedtogetherthestrongestinmyuniversity,asdemonstratedbytheamountandqualityoftheirscientificresearchandtechnologicalachievements.Takingfulladvantageofthisfaculty'sseasonedguidance,Itrainedmyselfvigorouslyandfruitfully.MycommandofEnglishwasconsideredthebestinmyclassthroughoutmyfourundergraduateyears,andmycomputerskillsweresogoodthatitwouldbeanunderstatementtosaythattheywerethebestinmydepartment.MyoverallGPAwasamongthetopfivepercentinmyclassof103students.Takingmyselftotaskintherealworld,Iworkedonnumerouspart-timejobswhileIwasattheuniversity.Forthesejobs,IusuallyutilizedmycomputerskillsandcommandofEnglish.Forexample,IwrotecomputerprogramsforsmallcompaniesandsearchedforinformationontheInternetforthem.Besidesmakingmoney,Ialsolearnedtomarketbothmyexpertiseandmyselfasaperson.Yourprogramstandsoutasoneofthepreciousfewthatoffergraduateresearchinmechatronics.Thatalonetestifiestoyourexcellenceinengineering.AsIseektoplacemyselfonthecutting-edgeofthestudiesinmechatronics,IthinkyourprogramiswhereIshouldbepursuingmyadvanceddegrees.Iamsurethat,withthebenefitofyouradvice,Icanacquirebroaderperspectivesandmoreprofoundinsights.Yourfavorableconsiderationofmyapplicationwillbegreatlyappreciated.