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校园幽默四则1.TwoBirdsTeacher:Herearetwobirds,oneisaswallow,theotherissparrow.Nowwhocantelluswhichiswhich?Student:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanswer.Teacher:Pleasetellus.Student:Theswallowisbesidethesparrowandthesparrowisbesidetheswallow.两只鸟老师:这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。老师:请说说看。学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。2.TheFishNetCanyoutellmewhatfishnetismade,Ann?Alotoflittleholestiedtogetherwithstrings.repliedthelittlegirl.鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?老师发问道。把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。小女孩回答道。3.TheNewTeacherGeorgecomesfromschoolonthefirstofSeptember.George,howdidyoulikeyournewteacher?askedhismother.Ididn'tlikeher,Mother,becauseshesaidthatthreeandthreeweresixandthenshesaidthattwoandfourweresixtoo.....新老师9月1日,乔治放学回到家里。乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?妈妈问。妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6,可后来又说2加4也得6。4.AphysicsExaminationOnceinaphysicsexamination,Nickfinishedthefirstquestionverysoon,whilehisclassmateswerethinkingithard.Thequestionwas:Whenitthunderswhydoweseethelightingfirst,thenhearthethunderrolls?Nick'sanswer:Becauseoureyesarebeforeears.一次物理考试在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是:为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。经典英语小笑话1.thelowestgradeProfessor,IdidthebestIcouldonthistest.Ireallydon'tthinkIdeserveazero.NeitherdoI.Butthat'sthelowestgradeI'mallowedtogive.最低分学生:“教授先生,我这次考试已经竭尽全力了。我真的觉得我不应该得零蛋。”老师:“我也是。但是这已经是我能给的最低分了!”2.RealPlayWhenItaughttheintroduction-to-theatercourseatNorthDakotaStateUniversity,Irequiredmystudentstoattendtheuniversitytheater'scurrentproductionandwriteacritique.Afterviewingaparticularlyfineperformance,onestudentwrote:Theplaywassoreal,IthoughtIwasactuallysittingonmycouchathome,watchingitontelevision.逼真的戏剧我在北达科他州立大学教戏剧入门课时,要求学生们去看学校剧团当时的演出,并写一篇评论。看了一场极为精彩的演出后,一名学生写道:“这部戏剧是如此逼真,以致于我认为我自己是坐在家里的沙发上,从电视上看到的。”本贴来自天极网群乐社区--:Tom,whyareyoulateforschooleveryday?Tom:EverytimeIcometothecorner,asignsays,School-GoSlow.汤姆的借口老师:汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到?汤姆:我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着:学校----慢行。DIDYOURDADHELPYOU?Oneday,Tim'smathematicsteacherlookedathishomeworkandsawthathehadgotallhissumsright.Theteacherwasverypleased-andrathersurprised.HecalledTimtohisdeskandsaidtohim,Yougotallyourhomeworkrightthistime,Tim.Whathappened?Didyourfatherhelpyou?No,sir.Hewastoobusylastnight,soIhadtodoitallmyself,saidTim.你爸爸帮你了吗?一天,蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业,发现他全做对了。老师很高兴,同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说:蒂姆,你这次的作业全都做对了,怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?不,先生,我爸爸昨天很忙,我不得不全由自己做了。英语幽默笑话TomcallJim'sname:Ican'tbearsuchafoolish!andJimsay:Youmothercould(bear)!汤姆对着吉姆骂道:我受不了你这个苯蛋了!吉姆说:你妈妈能!附:bear有两重意思:生和忍受这个笑话正是根据这点.英语笑话故事1.HeWonTommy:Howisyourlittlebrother,Johnny?Johnny:Heisillinbed.Hehurthimself.Tommy:That'stoobad.Howdidthathappen?Johnny:Weplayedwhocouldleanfurthestoutofthewindow,andhewon.他赢了汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。2.IHaveHisEarinMyPocketIvancamehomewithabloodynoseandhismotherasked,Whathappened?Akidbitme,repliedIvan.Wouldyourecognizehimifyousawhimagain?askedhismother.I'dknowhimanywhere,saidIvan.Ihavehisearinmypocket.他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”AGoodBoyLittleRobertaskedhismotherfortwocents.WhatdidyoudowiththemoneyIgaveyouyesterday?Igaveittoapooroldwoman,heanswered.You'reagoodboy,saidthemotherproudly.Herearetwocentsmore.Butwhyareyousointerestedintheoldwoman?Sheistheonewhosellsthecandy.好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”“她是个卖糖果的。”
本文标题:英语小笑话
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