白象似的群山

HillsLikeWhiteElephantsbyErnestHemingwayThehillsacrossthevalleyoftheEbrowerelongandwhite.Onthissidetherewasnoshadeandnotreesandthestationwasbetweentwolinesofrailsinthesun.Closeagainstthesideofthestationtherewasthewarmshadowofthebuildingandacurtain,madeofstringsofbamboobeads,hungacrosstheopendoorintothebar,tokeepoutflies.TheAmericanandthegirlwithhimsatatatableintheshade,outsidethebuilding.ItwasveryhotandtheexpressfromBarcelonawouldcomeinfortyminutes.ItstoppedatthisjunctionfortwominutesandwentontoMadrid.'Whatshouldwedrink?'thegirlasked.Shehadtakenoffherhatandputitonthetable.'It'sprettyhot,'themansaid.'Let'sdrinkbeer.''Doscervezas,'themansaidintothecurtain.'Bigones?'awomanaskedfromthedoorway.'Yes.Twobigones.'Thewomanbroughttwoglassesofbeerandtwofeltpads.Sheputthefeltpadsandthebeerglassesonthetableandlookedatthemanandthegirl.Thegirlwaslookingoffatthelineofhills.Theywerewhiteinthesunandthecountrywasbrownanddry.'Theylooklikewhiteelephants,'shesaid.'I'veneverseenone.'Themandrankhisbeer.'No,youwouldn'thave.''Imighthave,'themansaid.'JustbecauseyousayIwouldn'thavedoesn'tproveanything.'Thegirllookedatthebeadcurtain.'They'vepaintedsomethingonit,'shesaid'Whatdoesitsay?''AnisdelToro.It'sadrink.''Couldwetryit?'Themancalled'Listen'throughthecurtain.Thewomancameoutfromthebar.'Fourreales.''WewanttwoAnisdelToro.''Withwater?''Doyouwantitwithwater?''Idon'tknow,'thegirlsaid.'Isitgoodwithwater?''It'sallright.''Youwantthemwithwater?'askedthewoman.'Yes,withwater.''Ittasteslikelicorice,'thegirlsaidandputtheglassdown.'That'sthewaywitheverything.''Yes,'saidthegirl.'Everythingtastesoflicorice.Especiallyallthethingsyou'vewaitedsolongfor,likeabsinthe.''Oh,cutitout.''Youstartedit,'thegirlsaid.'Iwasbeingamused.Iwashavingafinetime.''Well,let'stryandhaveafinetime.''Allright.Iwastrying.Isaidthemountainslookedlikewhiteelephants.Wasn'tthatbright?''Thatwasbright.''Iwantedtotrythisnewdrink.That'sallwedo,isn'tit-lookatthingsandtrynewdrinks?''Iguessso.'Thegirllookedacrossatthehills.'They'relovelyhills,'shesaid.'Theydon'treallylooklikewhiteelephants.Ijustmeantthecoloringoftheirskinthroughthetrees.''Shouldwehaveanotherdrink?''Allright.'Thewarmwindblewthebeadcurtainagainstthetable.'Thebeer'sniceandcool,'themansaid.'It'slovely,'thegirlsaid.'It'sreallyanawfullysimpleoperation,Jig,'themansaid.'It'snotreallyanoperationatall.'Thegirllookedatthegroundthetablelegsrestedon.'Iknowyouwouldn'tmindit,Jig.It'sreallynotanything.It'sjusttolettheairin.'Thegirldidnotsayanything.'I'llgowithyouandI'llstaywithyouallthetime.Theyjustlettheairinandthenit'sallperfectlynatural.''Thenwhatwillwedoafterward?''We'llbefineafterward.Justlikewewerebefore.''Whatmakesyouthinkso?''That'stheonlythingthatbothersus.It'stheonlythingthat'smadeusunhappy.'Thegirllookedatthebeadcurtain,putherhandoutandtookholdoftwoofthestringsofbeads.'Andyouthinkthenwe'llbeallrightandbehappy?''Iknowwewill.Youdon'thavetobeafraid.I'veknownlotsofpeoplethathavedoneit.''SohaveI,'saidthegirl.'Andafterwardtheywereallsohappy.''Well,'themansaid,'ifyoudon'twanttoyoudon'thaveto.Iwouldn'thaveyoudoitifyoudidn'twantto.ButIknowit'sper-fectlysimple.''Andyoureallywantto?''Ithinkit'sthebestthingtodo.ButIdon'twantyoutodoitifyoudon'treallywant'to.''AndifIdoyou'llbehappyandthingswillbeliketheywereandyou'llloveme?''Iloveyounow.YouknowIloveyou.''Iknow.ButifIdoit,thenitwillbeniceagainifIsaythingsarelikewhiteelephants,andyou'lllikeit?''I'llloveit.IloveitnowbutIjustcan'tthinkaboutit.YouknowhowIgetwhenIworry.''IfIdoityouwon'teverworry?''Iwon'tworryaboutthatbecauseit'sperfectlysimple.''ThenI'lldoit.BecauseIdon'tcareaboutme.''Whatdoyoumean?''Idon'tcareaboutme.''Well,Icareaboutyou.''Oh,yes.ButIdon'tcareaboutme.AndI'lldoitandthenevery-thingwillbefine.''Idon'twantyoutodoitifyoufeelthatway.'Thegirlstoodupandwalkedtotheendofthestation.Across,ontheotherside,werefieldsofgrainandtreesalongthebanksoftheEbro.Faraway,beyondtheriver,weremountains.Theshadowofacloudmovedacrossthefieldofgrainandshesawtheriverthroughthetrees.'Andwecouldhaveallthis,'shesaid.'Andwecouldhaveevery-thingandeverydaywemakeitmoreimpossible.''Whatdidyousay?''Isaidwecouldhaveeverything.''Wecanhaveeverything.''No,wecan't.''Wecanhavethewholeworld.''No,wecan't.''Wecangoeverywhere.''No,wecan't.Itisn'toursanymore.''It'sours.''No,itisn't.Andoncetheytakeitaway,younevergetitback.''Buttheyhaven'ttakenitaway.''We'llwaitandsee.''Comeonbackintheshade'hesaid.'Youmustn'tfeelthatway.''Idon'tfeelanyway,'thegirlsaid.'Ijustknowthings.''Idon'twantyoutodoanythingthatyoudon'twanttodo--''Northatisn'tgoodforme'shesaid.'Iknow.Couldwehaveanotherbeer?''Allright.Butyou'vegottorealize--''Irealize,'thegirlsaid.'Can'twemaybestoptalking?'Theysatdownatthetableandthegirllookedacrossatthehillsonthedrysideofthevalleyandthemanlookedatherandatthetable.'You'vegottorealize,'hesaid,'thatIdon'twantyoutodoitifyoudon'twantto.I'mperfectlywillingtogothroughwithitifitmeansanythingtoyou.''Doesn'titmeananythingtoyou?Wecouldgetalong.''Ofcourseitdoes.ButIdon'twantanybodybutyou.Idon'twantanyoneelse.AndIknowit'sperfectlysimple.''Ye