雅思小作文

Thelinegraphisabouttheaveragepriceoftelevisiondecade（用此错误，它的意思是十年，decade的常用用法是severaldecades，onedecade，或者thenextdecades）intothefuture.ThegraphillustrateshowtheaveragepriceofatelevisionsetchangedinUtopiaoverseveraldecadesandpredictsthefuturetrend.TherewasasharpriseinthenumberofTV（此篇线性题是关于价格的，跟数量没关系，这里严重跑题）from500at1940to2500at1950（单位没有，年之前的介词用in）.Accordingtotheline,theamountofdollars（“美元的数量”跑题，应该是“电视机价格”）sharplydecline（应该是过去式，注意时态）from2500at1950to500at1970（没有单位，介词用错）.Andthen,theperiodfrom1970to1980witnessedaslowly（应该用它的形容词形式slow，或者用slight）riseinthenumberofdollars（审题有误，跑题）from500to600.However,thenumberofdollarsexperiencedasharplyrisingtrendwiththefigureincreasingfrom（用得很好！）600at1980to2050at2000（同样的问题反复）.From2000to2010,itremainedalmoststable（不是非常准确）,andthen,in2020s,thenumberdrop（时态不对，过去式）gradual（应该用副词形式gradually，修饰前面的动词）,withaslightdecrease（好）from2100at2010sto2000at2020s.TheaveragepriceofaTVSetwas500dollarsin1940s.Inthefollowingdecade,thefigureincreasedtothepeaksharplyatthepriceof2500dollars.Thenafter1950sthedatahasexperiencedadropbackto500dollarsforeachTVsetin1970s.Inthefollowingthreedecades,theaveragepriceperTVsetwitnessedanincreasingtrend,tothepriceof2050dollarsin2000s,andthefigurecontinuedtoriseuntilthepricewas2100dollarin2010s.IthasbeenpredictedthattheaveragepriceofaTVsetwilldropslightlyto2000dollarsfrom2010sto2020s.However,muchmorepeopleparthepriceofTVin2020sratherthan1940s（表意不准确，看不懂）.Asawhole,theaveragePriceofaTVsetinVtopiawillhaveagoodnews.(不客观)Insum,theaveragepriceofatelevisionsethaschangeddramaticallyfrom1940sto2010s,anditwilldropslightlyfrom2010sto2020s.thehighestpricewas2500dollars.However,thelowestpricewas500dollarsovertheseveraldecades.评语：首先开始动手写是一个好的开始，同时文章中出现了一些好的短语，但是要注意整篇文章没有一个完全正确的句子。原因之一是审题不细致不准确，第二词语的用法没有掌握好，第三时态有用错的地方。继续多练习，动笔之前要审题细致不能跑题，讨论的东西错了，整篇文章就有大问题。