UNIT-2-TEXT-2-The-Laugher

TheLaugherWhensomeoneasksmewhatbusinessIamin,Iamseizedwithembarrassment:Iblushandstammer,Iwhoamotherwiseknownasamanofpoise.Ienvypeoplewhocansay:Iamabricklayer.Ienvybarbers,bookkeepersandwritersthesimplicityoftheiravowal,foralltheseprofessionsspeakforthemselvesandneednolengthyexplanationwhichIamconstrainedtoreplytosuchquestions:Iamalaugher.Anadmissionofthiskinddemandsanother,sinceIhavetoanswerthesecondquestion‘Isthathowyoumakeyourliving?’truthfullywith‘Yes.’Iactuallydomakealivingatmylaughing,andagoodonetoo,formylaughingis–commerciallyspeaking–muchindemand.Iamagoodlaugher,experienced,nooneelselaughsaswellasIdo,nooneelsehassuchcommandofthefinepointsofmyart.Foralongtime,inordertoavoidtiresomeexplanations,Icalledmyselfanactor,butmytalentsinthefieldofmimeandelocutionaresomeagerthatIfeltthisdesignationtobetoofarfromthetruth:Ilovethetruth,andthetruthis:Iamalaugher.Iamneitheraclownnoracomedian,Idonotmakepeoplegay,Iportraygaiety:IlaughlikeaRomanemperor,orlikeasensitiveschoolboy,Iamasmuchathomeinthelaughteroftheseventeenthcenturyasinthatofthenineteenth,andwhenoccasiondemandsIlaughmywaythroughallthecenturies,allclassesofsociety,allcategoriesofage–itissimplyaskillwhichIhaveacquired,liketheskillofbeingabletorepairshoes.InmybreastIharborthelaugherofAmerica,thelaughterofAfrica,white,red,yellowlaughter–andfortherightfeeIletitpealoutinaccordancewiththedirector’srequirements.Ihavebecomeindispensable;Ilaughonrecords,Ilaughontape,andtelevisiondirectorstreatmewithrespect.Ilaughmournfully,moderately,hysterically;Ilaughlikeastreetcarconductororlikeahelperinthegrocerybusiness;laughterinthemorning,laughterintheevening,nocturnallaughter,andthelaughteroftwilight.Inshort:whereverandhoweverlaughterisrequired–Idoit.Itneedhardlybepointedthataprofessionofthiskindistiring,especiallyasIhavealso–thisismyspecialty–masteredtheartofinfectiouslaughter;thishasalsomademeindispensabletothird-andfourth-ratecomedians,whoarescared–andwithgoodreason–thattheiraudienceswillmisstheirpunchlines,soIspendmosteveningsinnightclubsasakindofdiscreetclaque,myjobbeingtolaughinfectiouslyduringtheweakerpartsoftheprogram.Ithastobecarefullytimed:myhearty,boisterouslaughtermustnotcometoosoon,butneithermustitcometoolate,itmustcomejustattherightspot:attheprearrangedmomentImustburstoutlaughing,thewholeaudienceroarswithme,andthejokeissaved.Butasforme,Idragmyselfexhaustedtothecheckroom,putonmyovercoat,happythatIcangooffdutyatlast.AthomeIusuallyfindtelegramswaitingforme:‘Urgentlyrequireyourlaughter.RecordingTuesday,’andafewhourslaterIamsittinginanoverheatedexpresstrainbemoaningmyfate.IneedscarcelysaythatwhenIamoffdutyoronvacationIhavelittleinclinationtolaugh:thecowhandisgladwhenhecanforgetthecow,thebricklayerwhenhecanforgetthemortar,andcarpentersusuallyhavedoorsathomewhichdon’tworkordrawerswhicharehardtoopen.Confectionerslikesourpickles,butcherslikemarzipans,andthebakerpreferssausagetobread;bullfightersraisepigeonsforahobby,boxersturnpalewhentheirchildrenhavenosebleeds:Ifindallthisquitenatural,forIneverlaughoffduty.Iamaverysolemnperson,andpeopleconsiderme–perhapsrightlyso–apessimist.Duringthefirstyearsofourmarriedlife,mywifewouldoftensaytome:‘Dolaugh!’butsincethenshehascometorealizedthatIcannotgrantherthiswish.IamhappywhenIamfreetorelaxmytensefacemuscles,myfrayedspirit,inprofoundsolemnity.Indeed,evenotherpeople’slaughtergetsonmynerves,sinceitremindsmetoomuchofmyprofession.Soourmarriageisaquiet,peacefulone,becausemywifehasalsoforgottenhowtolaugh:nowandagainIcatchhersmiling,andIsmiletoo.Weconverseinlowtones,forIdetest（hate）thenoiseofthenightclubs,thenoisethatsometimesfillstherecordingstudios.PeoplewhodonotknowmethinkIamtaciturn.PerhapsIam,becauseIhavetoopenmymouthsooftentolaugh.Igothroughlifewithanimpassiveexpression,fromtimetotimepermittingmyselfagentlesmile,andIoftenwonderwhetherIhaveeverlaughed.Ithinknot.Mybrothersandsistershavealwaysknownmeforaseriousboy.SoIlaughinmanydifferentways,bymyownlaughterIhaveneverheard.笑者当有人问及我是做什么的时候，我就尴尬不已，面红耳赤，结结巴巴。从其他方面讲我是自信的人。我羡慕那些说自己是泥水匠的人。我羡慕理发师，作家，他们一说就简单明了，因为他们的职业就说明了他们是做什么的，不需要任何冗余的解释。回答这种问题，我浑身不自在：我的职业就是笑。回答了这个问题就有下一个。因此，第二个问题——笑是你的谋生之道？——我回答是：对是这样的。事实上我就是以笑谋生的，而且过得很好。因为，从商业角度来讲，我的笑需求量很大。我笑得好，经验老道，没人笑得过我，没人笑得有我这么出神入化那么有艺术。为避免厌烦的解释，长期以来我自称为是一名演员。但是我的笑剧和演说技巧的才能微不足道，让我觉得这种称谓有点言过其实。我热爱真理，所以事实就是：我是个笑者。我非小丑亦非喜剧演员，我不是去愉悦别人，而是去表现喜悦。我笑如罗马帝王亦如害羞的学生。十七，十九世纪的笑声我无所不会，倘若需要，我能笑出所有世纪，所有社会阶级，所有年龄段的笑声。这就是我获得的一技之长，就如同补鞋的技艺一般。在我心中，有美国的笑声，非洲的笑声，白人的笑声，红种人的笑声，黄种人的笑声，只要价格合适，我就会按照导演的要求去笑。我变得不可或缺。在唱片里笑，在磁带里笑，电视导演也要尊重我。我悲哀地笑，我温和地笑，我歇斯底里地笑。学电车售票员笑，或学杂货店帮手笑。我早上笑，傍晚笑，晚上笑，黎明笑。总之，只要需要，不管何时，要我怎么笑我就怎么笑。不消说，这种职业很累。特别是由于我掌握了这种具有感染力笑声的艺术。（这是我的特长）这样我变成了三四级喜剧演员不可或缺的人物。他们害怕他们的观众（这是有道理的）错过包袱笑料。所以我常常晚上在夜总会扮演谨慎的喝彩者。我的工作就是在节目不是很精彩部分，带动大家笑起来。这是要仔细把握好时机的。我发自肺腑的狂笑来得不能太早也不能太晚，要恰到好处。在事先安排好的点上，我得捧腹大笑，所有观众就跟着我大笑，于是笑料就成功了。而我呢，拖着疲惫的身躯走进更衣室，穿上外套，最后高兴的下班。家里经常都会发现等着我的电报：‘急需您的笑声，周二录制’。几小时以后我便坐在闷热的高速火车上哀叹自己的命运。不用说，下班或者放假我是不想笑的：养牛工忘记牛是快乐的，泥水匠忘记灰泥是快乐的，木工高兴的则是发现家里门坏了，抽屉不好使了。做蜜饯的人喜欢酸溜溜的泡菜，屠夫喜欢杏仁酥糖，面包师傅喜欢香肠不喜欢面包，斗牛士喜欢养鸽子，拳击手看到自己孩子鼻孔流血脸色苍白：我觉得这些都太正常了，因为我就是下班从来不笑。我这人很严肃，人们都认为我是个乐观派。我婚姻的头几年，妻子常常对我说：‘笑