6 jokes-2

1●ThreeladieswereonaflightwhensuddenlythecaptainannouncedPleaseprepareforacrashlanding.Thefirstladyputonallherjewelry.Surprisedbythistheotherladiesquestionedheractions.Thefirstladyreplied,wellwhentheycometorescueustheywillseethatIamrichandwillrescuemefirst.Thesecondladynotwantingtobeleftbehind,begantotakeoffhertopandbra.Whyareyoudoingthattheotherladiesquestioned,wellwhentheycometorescueustheywillseemygreattitsandwilltakemefirst.ThethirdladywhowasAfricannotwantingtobeoutdonetookoffherpantsandpanties.Whyareyoudoingthattheotherladiesquestioned,welltheyalwayssearchfortheblackboxfirst?●Awomangoesintoarestaurantinasmalltownoutinthecountry.Sheordersthechickenandstartstoeat.Eatingtoofastshestartstochokeonachickenbone.Wellthesetwocountryboysinthenextboothnoticesheischokingsotheygetupandgoovertohelpher.Thefirstcountryboydropshiscoverallsandbendsoverandthesecondcountryboystartslickinghisbutt.Thewomenwatchesthesetwogoatitandisgrossedout.Shepukesallovertheplace,dislodgingthechickenbonefromherthroat.Thecountryboypullshisoverallsbackupandsaystotheother,You'rerightLeroy,thathind-lickmaneuverworkslikeacharm.●Ourdogleftsomanydisgustingstainsonourcarpetthatwehadtobuynewcarpet.Ididn'twanttobestupidaboutthenewpurchase,soIcutthestainsoutoftheoldcarpet.Whenthecarpetguyaskedwhatcolorwewanted,Ipulledoutthestainedpatchesandsaid,Yeah,canyoumatchthiscolor!●Amanandhisfouryearoldsonaretalking,whenhissonaskshimDad,whatdoesapussylooklike?TheDadconfused,askshimbeforeoraftersex?ThekidsaysUmmmbeforesexSothedadsaystohimWellhaveueverseenabeautifulredrosewithsoftredpeddles.yeahsaystheson.wellwhataboutaftersexhesaystohisdad.HisdadrepliesHaveyoueverseenabulldogeatingmayonnaise2●Aguymeetsagirloutatanightclubandsheinviteshimbacktoherplaceforthenight,herparentsareoutoftownandthisistheperfectopportunity.Theygetbacktoherhouseandtheygointoherbedroom,andwhentheguywalksinthedoorhenoticesallthesefluffytoys.There'shundredsofthem,fluffytoysontopofthewardrobe,fluffytoysonthebookshelfandwindowsill,there'smoreonthefloor,andofcoursefluffytoysalloverthebed.Later,afterthey'vehadsex,heturnstoherandasks,''So,howwasI?''Shesays,''Well,youcantakeanythingfromthebottomshelf.''●Ahugemuscularmanwalksintoabarandordersabeer.Thebartendercan'thelpbutstareattheguybecauseincontrasttohislargemuscles,themanhasaheadthatisthesizeofanorange.Thebartenderhandstheguyhisbeerandsays,''Youknow,I'mnotgaybutIwanttocomplimentyouonyourphysique,itreallyisphenomenal!ButIhaveaquestion,whyisyourheadsosmall?''Thebigguynodsslowly.He'sobviouslyfieldedthisquestionmanytimes.''Oneday,''hebegins,''Iwashuntingandgotlostinthewoods.Iheardsomeonecryingforhelp.Ifollowedthecriesandtheyledmetoafrogthatwassittingnexttoastream.''''Noshit?''saysthebartender,thoroughlyintrigued.''Yeah,soIpickedupthefroganditsaid,Kissme.KissmeandIwillturnintoagenieandgrantyouthreewishes.'''''Keepgoing!''IlookedaroundtomakesureIwasaloneandgavethefrogakiss.POOF!Thefrogturnedintoabeautiful,voluptuous,nakedwoman.Shesaid,''Younowhavethreewishes.''Ilookeddownatmyscrawny115poundbodyandsaid,''IwantabodylikeArnold3Schwarzenneger.''Shenodded,snappedherfingers,andPOOFthereIwas,sohugethatIrippedoutofmyclothesandwasstandingtherenaked!Shethenasked,''Whatwillbeyoursecondwish?''''Whatnext?''beggedthebartender.Ilookedhungrilyatherbeautifulbodyandreplied,''Iwanttomakesensuouslovewithyouherebythisstream.''Shenodded,laiddown,andbeckonedtome.Wemadeloverighttherebythatstreamforhours!Afterwards,aswelaytherenexttoeachother,sweatingfromourgloriouslovemaking,shewhisperedintomyear,''Youknow,youdohaveonemorewish.Whatwillitbe?''Ilookedatherandreplied,''How'boutalittlehead?''●Onedayapregnantwifeannouncedthatshewasgoingtostartlookingfornamesforherandherhusbandsunbornchild.WhenthefatherhadgottenhomefromworkthemotherheldupababybookandsaidthatthenamewasgoingtobeOphella.Thehusband(whowasquitewitty)didn'tlikethenamehesaid,That'sagoodname,itremindsmeofthisgirlIdatedinhighschool.ThenextdaythemotherhadchangedthenametoSarah.●Oncetherewasalittleboywhowascuriousaboutwhatastripclubwaslikesoonedayhedecidedtosneakintoone.Oncehewasin,hewatchedasthestrippersdanced.Hewatcheduntiltheystartedtakingoftheirclothing.That'swhenheboltedoutthedoorandstartedrunningdownthestreetandintoaman.Themanaskstheboy,What'swrongyoungman?Youlooklikeyoujustsawaghost!.Thelittleboyreplies,MymommyanddaddytoldmethatifIeverwatchedanybodyundress,I'dturntostone...andallofasuddenIfeltsomethinghard!.●AmarriedmankeepstellinghiswifeHoney,youhavesuchabeautifulbutt.Everypersoninthetownagreesthatshedoeshaveaverybeautifulbutt.Theman'sbirthdayiscomingupsoshedecidestotakeatriptothetattooparlorandgetthe4wordsBeautifulbutttattooedonherass.Shewalksinandtellsthetattooartisthehusbandthinksshehasabeautifulbutt.Helooksandsays,Youdohaveabeautifulbutt.ShethentellsthemanshewantsBeautifulbutttattooedonherass.ThemantellsherIcan'tfitthatonyourass,ittakesuptoomuchspace.ButItellyouwhat,IwilltattoothelettersBBoneachcheekandthatcanstandforbeautifulbutt.Sheagreesandgetsitdone.Ontheman'sbirthdayshehearshimcomehomeandisonlywearingarobe.S