What-One-Thing-Do-You-Want-to-Change-about-Your-Li

Aswetakestockandreflectonwhatmakesusthehappiestandwhatmakesustheunhappiest,weoftenfeelthatchangingthosecircumstancesthatcausethemostpainwouldbeimpossible.Themindsetthatmanyofusadoptoverourlifetimesisthat,theolderweget,themoredifficultitistopulloutofourestablishedpatterns.Fortunately,thoughyoumayfeelstuck,youdon’thavetoremainthatway.Whenadultsseeklifechanges,theirattemptsareoftentrivializedasa“midlifecrisis,”implyingthatit’sjustsomephasethey’regoingthroughthatwillsoonpass.Nevermindthatthetermmidlifecrisisitselfisvagueandimprecise,ifnotoverrated.“There,there,”peoplesay,“you’llgetoveritsoon.”Thispatronizingresponsetotheindividual’syearningforsomethingnewonlymakesmattersworse.Notonlydoyoufeelstuckbutyoualsofeeldiscouragedfromevenattemptingtogetoutoftherutyoufeelyourselftobein.So,yousuckitup,carryon,andassumethatbeingmildlytomoderatelyunhappyisjustaninevitablepartofbeinganadult.Changingyourliferequiresthatyoufirstchangeyourmindset.Insteadofperceivingyourwishtoexplorealternativesassilly,impractical,or“justaphase,”whatifyouundertooktheexplorationprocess?Afterall,youcanthinkaboutchangewithoutactuallychanging-or-morelikely,you’llbeabletochangemorethanyouthoughtpossibleonceyouinitiatetheprocess.Inmylong-termstudyof180adultsfromcollegethroughmidlife,IobservedmanyindividualsfollowingwhatIcalledthe“authenticroad”inwhichtheymadeadjustmentscontinuallythroughoutadulthoodinordertofindasatisfactoryfitbetweentheiridentitiesandtheirdailylives.Somewentthroughamoreradicalchangethanothers,suchasseekinganentirelynewcareerpath,butsomeseemedtotinkerwithafewaspectsoftheirlivesinsmallerdoses.Rightnowyoumightbethinking-“OK,sochangeispossible.HowdoIstart?”Forinspiration,I’dliketosuggestyoucheckoutthebookAgileInnovation:TheRevolutionaryApproachtoAccelerateSuccess,InspireEngagement,andIgniteCreativitywrittenbyLangstonMorris,MosesMa,andPoChiWu.Writtenforabusinessaudience,thebookpromotesthe“innovative”mindset,inwhichyouchallengeconventionalwaysofhandlingproblemsandinsteadlookforimaginativesolutions.Applyingthisbasicpremisetoyourlife,theinnovativeapproachsuggeststhatyoudon’ttakeyourpresentsituationasagivenbutinsteadlookforthatone(ormore)waystotakeastepbackandseewhatyoucoulddodifferently.Toquotefromthebook’sopeningpages:“Theartandscienceofcreatingchangeisreallythemasteryofinnovation…”Theauthorsbelievethattosucceed,“therereallyisnootheroptionbutinnovation.”Translatingfromtheirbusinessmodeltoindividualdevelopment,theprinciplesthatallowyoutoachieveinnovationareverysimilar:Developplansthatwouldallowyoutoachievewhatyouwanttoinaquickerandhigherqualitymannerinthesamewayabusinessneedstofindwaystooutdothecompetition.Reduceyourpersonalrisks,justasbusinesswouldwanttoreduceitsinvestmentrisks.Innovationisn’tthesameasimpulsivity,sochangeshavetobemadeintelligently.Engageotherpeopleinyourplanningprocess.Notonlycanotherpeoplehelpyou,buttheymaybeabletoofferideasthatwillhelpyourefineyourownplans.Morrisandhiscollaboratorsrefertothisashavingothersto“co-ideate”withyou.Takechargeofchange.Whenwetalkaboutorganizationalchange,weusetheterm“leadership.”Youneedtheequivalentofthisinmakingpersonalchanges.Likelargeorganizationsthatfailtoinnovate,wecanallbecomesoembeddedinourownfamilies,communities,andworkplacesthatwethinkit’simpossibletodothingsdifferently.Thelongerwecontinuealongthesamepathway,themoredifficultitistoimaginegoingdownanewone.However,onceyoutakethe“agile”approachtochange,you’llrealizethatyoucanstartsomethingnewwithoutgivingupcompletelywhatyouhad.Perhapsthemostimportantchangeyouwouldliketomakeinvolvesyourhealthandlifestyle.You’dreallyliketogiveuporcutdownoncarbohydratesinyourdiet,buteverywhereyougo,includingyourownfamily’skitchen,thereisthelureofpotatochips,bagels,orpasta.Insteadofconcludingthatyou’llneverbeabletoachievethislifestylechange,gothroughthestepsandseehowyoucouldimplementthischange.It’snotlikelythatyoucanbringeveryoneinyourhouseholdonboardwithyourplanrightaway,butyoucanleadthewaybymakingplans,takingitslowly(notthrowingoutallcarbsinyourfrigorpantry,consultwithotherfamilymembers,andthentakeresponsibilityfordevelopingnewfamilyrecipes.Morrisandhiscollaboratorsbolstertheirargumentsbytakingthereaderthroughanumberoffascinatingcasestudiescontrastingthedangersoffailingtoinnovatewiththebenefitsofagileinnovation.Justthegossipaloneisprettyentertaining.Forexample,Ididn’tknowthatNetflixhadacontestopentooutsiderstoseewhocoulddevelopthemostaccuratepredictionequationfordeterminingwhatrecommendationstomaketocustomers.Bydrawinguponaglobalnetworkofprogrammers,theycouldachievefarmorethantheycouldbyrelyingontheirowninternalsoftwareengineers.Thisisjustoneofanumberofstoriestheauthorshaveincorporatedintothebookfromtheirownreal-worldexperiencesinindustry.Otherexamplescomefromhistoricalfigureswhoseradicalnewapproachesbecamelegendary.There’s“DaVinci’sRésumé,”inwhichtheartistandinventorappliedforapositiontotheDukeofMilan.AnothergreatexamplewasLeonidas(KingofSparta)whoheldthePersiansatbayduringthebattleofThermopylae,demonstratingtheimmensepowerthatasmallnumberofcommittedpeoplecan