Unit-8-Love-and-Resentment-课文翻译

Unit8LOVEANDRESENTMENTBarbaraBick1.Istraightenedupfrommyweedingasthefrenziedmutteringsofangerreachedmefromthehouse.Mymusclestightened.ThescreamsweresomuffledIcouldbarelyhearthem.Getawayfromme,youfilthyslut.Leavemealone.2.Imovedcautiouslythroughtheovergrownbushes,upagainstthebathroomwindow,strainingtocatchtheexactwords.Iwanttounderstandmydaughter.Shutup!Shutup!Youalwaysdoeverythingwrong.Incompetentbitch?Theflushingtoiletdrownedouttherest.Imovedawayquickly,shakenonceagainbyherwildoutbursts.Sometimesshefrightensmewhensheisclearlyoutofcontrol.ButthistimeIwasreassured;shedidn'twantmetohear.Ibenttomyweedingassheopenedthescreendoor.Shesatdown.Herfacewascalmandimpassive.3.CanIhelpyou,mother?sheaskedasshelightedherumpteenthcigaretteofthemorningandwasshakenbyherusualbarkingcough.4.Sure.Whydon'tyoupullupsomeoftheweedsbetweenthebricksonthepath.5.Oh,that'stoohard,shesaidandshesettleddeeperintothedeckchair.6.Damnit,Kathy,whyiseverythingtoohardforyou?Goahead,getthestoolanddowhatyoucan.Isnappedather.7.Damnityourself,Isaidtomyself.WhydidIbringheruphere?Why,why,why?Yesterdayhadbeenrough.Shehadhurledaccusationafteraccusationatme.WhydoyoualwayssayI'mcrazy?shehadyelled.Don'tyouEVERtellmeI'maparanoidschizophrenicagain.That'sallyoueverdo--callmecrazyandI'mnot.8.Kathy,myvoicequieterandquieterashersroseincrescendo,Ihavenevercalledyoucrazy.Please,Kathy,keepyourvoicedown.Kathy,stopit.Stopitrightnow!9.Ishookawaythatmemoryandroselaboriously.IhadjustcometotheislandandsoIwaseagertocleanupmyburgeoninggardenafterawinter'sneglect.ThisisthefourthyearIhavehadthistinytreasureofahouse.Itwastobemyretreatfromtheharassingcity,thesocialandpoliticalcommitmentsItakeoneachyear,theneedsoffamilyandfriends.10.ForthreesummersIhavebroughtmy40-year-olddaughtertotheislandtospendtwoweekswithme.Surely,Icanlivefortwoweekswiththetensionandoutbursts.Herlifeissolimitedandmineissofull.Ashortspanofdays,really,formetotakecareofher;togivehersomejoy.Ihavesomanydays,justforme,aftershegoesbacktothecity.11.ButIcan't.Iresentthetension.Ilosepatience.SometimesIhateher.Whatiswrongwithme?Iamstrongandhealthy;sheisvulnerableandill.Itisalwaysmychoicetohaveherhere.ButIcountthedaysuntilsheisgoneandtherearemomentswhenIthink,no,notanothersummer.Whydothistomyself?MostofthetimeIknowthattheseweeksaretooimportanttoher;Icannottakethemaway.12.Shedoesn'tsleepwell.BeforeIcameup,Idiscussedthesleepingproblemwithherpsychiatristsothathecouldprescribesomemedication.Icouldn'tbringmyselftotellhimthatIamafraidtobedeepinsleepwhilesheisawake.Sheisnotphysicallyviolent.Inallthe24yearsofherillness,shehasattackedmeonlythreetimes.Buttheyremainwithme.Eachtime,heradrenaline-inducedstrengthhadoverwhelmedme.Andnomatterhowintimateoneiswiththisillness,theprimordialfearofmadnesslurksdeepwithin.Themedicationthedoctorsuggesteddoesn'tworkandmybedroomhereisanopenroomwithoutadoortolock.So,Isleeplightlythesenights.Isensethelightsblazingdownstairs.Ilistentohercoughasshesmokesandmuttersthroughthelonghours.Itrytoimagine—outofmyownhealthybody—whatitisliketobeKathy.13.Physically,shealwaysfeelsunwell.Theantipsychoticmedicationhasmanyunpleasantsideeffects.Morethanthat,shehasnoempathywithherownbody,cannottakecareofit.Sheeatsbadly,drinkscoffeeconstantly,smokesincessantly,doesnoexercise.Shehasperpetualheadachesandfrequentstomachaches.14.ForyearsshesufferedfromCrohn'sdisease,adeepinflammationofthecolon,leavingherlittleornocontrolofherbowels.Shehasbeenplaguedandhumiliatedbyaccidentsinpublic.Peoplehaverespondedtothisafflictionbyyellingather,callingherfilthy.Shehassilentlyacceptedtheappellation,takenitwithinher.Filthybitch!sheyellsatherself.Goaway!15.Ilieawake,mythroattightandachingasIremembertheyearswhenherillnesswasmoreactive,filledwithagonizinghallucinationsthatmostofus,duringalifetime,experienceforonlysecondsinourworst,mostsearingnightmares.16.Shehadbeenanormal,beautifulchild.Thechangesbeganinhighschool.Kathystartedadiarywhenshewas16yearsold.Shewrote:ThismorningIfeelasthoughsomeonetookafileandsandpaperandscratchedoffallmyepidermis.Ifeelrawandsoreanduglyanddirtyandloathsome.Ialsohaveaheadacheandcoffeemakesitworse.Iescapethrudreamsandthepressureofreturningrealitygivesmeaheadache.17.Somethinginsidemeisgoingthruthisfunny,alienstate,asenseofbeingatthemercyofsomestrangeforce,andthispatheticscarecrowfigureinsidemeatthemercyofotherforces.MystomachisemptyandgnawinganduneasyasifanythingcouldfallinandbreakthesuperstructureIholdupwithallmyforce.18.Kathydidgoofftocollege.Thetraumaofherbreakdowntherewasfollowedbythedeadeningtravailofthelongsearchforapsychiatricsolution.Then,adecadeofdailylifeinthehugepsychiatrichospital,thecrazyhouseasshealwayscalledit.Inthoseyears,shehasneverbeenabletodrawadeepbreathfullofgoodlife.19.ThedaughterIwouldhavehad—wereitnotforthisevilillness—existsinembryointhedaughterIdohave.Afteranoutburst,shewillcomeandtellmequietly:Iamsorry,mother.Idon'twanttofightwithyou.20.Thankyou,shewillsay:forgivingmeagoodday.21.Toadmitthetruth,sometimesItriggerheroutburst.LikeTuesday,whenIcameuponherpouringcoffeestraightfromthejar,halffi