Interpreting a smile-错解了微笑

Interpretingasmile|错解了微笑JunChenwentintoPeter’sofficeafterbeingtoldto,smilingbeforehespoke.“Peter,I’vebeenfeelingveryupsetaboutthetroubleI’vecausedforthecompany.I’mheretoapologizeformymistake.I’mterriblysorryaboutitandIwantyoutoknowthatitwillneverhappenagain,”JunChensaid,lookingatPeterwiththesmilehehadbeenwearingsincehewalkedintotheoffice.Peterfoundithardtoaccepttheapology.HelookedatJunChen,andasked,“Areyousure?”“Yes,I’mverysorryandIpromisethiswon’thappenagain,”JunChensaid,withasmileevenbroaderthanbefore.“I’msorryIjustcan’ttakeyourapology.Youdon’tlooksorryatall!”Petersaidangrily.JunChen’sfaceturnedveryred.HedidnotintheleastexpectPetertotakeitnegatively3.Hewasdesperatetomakehimselfunderstood.“Peter,”hemanagedtosmileagain,“trustme,noonecanfeelanymoresorrythanIdoaboutit.”Peterwasalmostfurious4bynow,“Ifyou’rethatsorry,howcanyoustillsmile?”Chineseperspective5ItmaybedifficultforWesternerstobelievethatsmilingfortheChinesenotonlymeansthatsomeoneishappy,butalsothatheorsheissorry.Itisdesirable6foraChinesetoapologizewithasmile,whichindicateshumbleness7andembarrassment.JunChenprobablywasnotevenaware8thathewassmilingwhenhefirstwentintotheofficetoapologize,yethedidmakeanefforttosmilewhenhesawPetergettingangry.ForJunChen,thesmilewasanimportantpartoftheapology.Asaresult,hecouldnotunderstandwhyPetergotangrywhenhegaveasincere9apology.NorthAmericanperspectiveBeyondthinkingthatJunChenwasnotreallysorryforthemistake,Petermightactuallytakethesmileassmirking10,asignofdisrespect.AWesternerinJunChen’ssituationwouldprobablykeephiseyeslowered，especiallyduringthetimehewasapologizing.Whenpromisingtocorrectthesituationandtoavoidmakingthesamemistake,aWesternerwouldexpecttheemployeetolookhimintheeyeanddefinitely11nottosmile.Dependingonthenatureofthemistake,Petermighteventually12attempttoreassure13JunChenthat“norealharmwasdone”orthat“It’sokay,we’vebeenabletocorrecttheproblem”andthencomplimentJunChenonhismaturely14acceptingresponsibility.Theymightpartbyshakinghands.ThiswouldbedonebyPetertoshowthatheacceptedJunChen’sapologyandtoattempttorebuildagoodworkingrelationshipbetweenthetwo,oratleasteasethetensionthatJunChenwasfeeling.However,inthiscase,themistakenperceptionofasmilemadeanawkward15situationworse.彼得是美国驻中国一家公司的总经理，中国雇员陈俊是他的一个部门经理。前不久陈俊在工作中出了差错，费了一番功夫才弥补过来，为此他感到很不安，特地找彼得道歉。在得到允许后陈俊推门进彼得的办公室，还没开口就陪上了笑脸。“彼得，我一直为自己给公司带来的损失感到不安。我感到非常抱歉，我保证类似失误决不再发生，”陈俊说，进门时的微笑一直挂在脸上。彼得望着陈俊的笑脸，很难相信他的歉意，“真的吗?”“绝对，我保证不会再犯这种错误，”陈俊说，脸上的笑容更加明朗。“对不起，我无法接受你的道歉，我看不出你有什么不安!”彼得生气地说。陈俊的脸变得通红，他没想到彼得的态度竟会这么消极，他急切地要让彼得明白自己的意思，强装笑脸说，“彼得，相信我，对这事没人比我更难过了。”彼得更火了，“如果你真那么难过，你又怎么可以笑得出来呢?”中国人的解释西方人可能无法理解，笑在中国除了意味着高兴外，还可以是表示歉意和尴尬的方式。一般来说，中国人道歉时习惯陪笑脸，这种笑表示谦卑和尴尬。陈俊走进办公室道歉时，甚至可能没意识到自己在笑，但在彼得生气时他的笑则是刻意的，因为对他来说这是道歉的一个重要部分。所以，他无法理解为什么如此真诚的道歉会令彼得大动肝火。北美人的解释彼得非但不会想到陈俊的笑代表了歉意，反而会认为那是傻笑，是对自己的不尊重。处在陈俊位置上的西方人，道歉时往往眼睛下垂，而雇员在保证以后不再重犯错误时，彼得希望对方看着自己的眼睛说话——当然，对方的脸上是绝不应有笑容的。之后，彼得会根据失误的大小对陈俊说，“现在已经无大碍了”，或是“没事了，我们已经纠正了错误”，并对陈俊承担责任的态度表示欣赏。分手时，彼得会主动与陈俊握手，以示接受陈俊的道歉并重建两人间友好的工作关系，或至少缓解陈俊的紧张情绪。可惜彼得对陈俊的误解使事情变得更糟。=========================