love-is-fallacy中英文对照

LoveisFallacybyMaxShulmanCoolwasIandlogical.Keen,calculating,perspicacious,acuteandastute—Iwasallofthese.Mybrainwasaspowerfulasadynamo,preciseasachemist’sscales,aspenetratingasascalpel.And—thinkofit!—Ionlyeighteen.Itisnotoftenthatonesoyounghassuchagiantintellect.Take,forexample,PeteyBellows,myroommateattheuniversity.Sameage,samebackground,butdumbasanox.Aniceenoughfellow,youunderstand,butnothingupstairs.Emotionaltype.Unstable.Impressionable.Worstofall,afaddist.Fads,Isubmit,aretheverynegationofreason.Tobesweptupineverynewcrazethatcomesalong,tosurrenderoneselftoidiocyjustbecauseeverybodyelseisdoingit—this,tome,istheacmeofmindlessness.Not,however,toPetey.OneafternoonIfoundPeteylyingonhisbedwithanexpressionofsuchdistressonhisfacethatIimmediatelydiagnosedappendicitis.“Don’tmove,”Isaid,“Don’ttakealaxative.I’llgetadoctor.”“Raccoon,”hemumbledthickly.“Raccoon?”Isaid,pausinginmyflight.“Iwantaraccooncoat,”hewailed.Iperceivedthathistroublewasnotphysical,butmental.“Whydoyouwantaraccooncoat?”“Ishouldhaveknownit,”hecried,poundinghistemples.“Ishouldhaveknownthey’dcomebackwhentheCharlestoncameback.LikeafoolIspentallmymoneyfortextbooks,andnowIcan’tgetaraccooncoat.”“Canyoumean,”Isaidincredulously,“thatpeopleareactuallywearingraccooncoatsagain?”“AlltheBigMenonCampusarewearingthem.Where’veyoubeen?”“Inthelibrary,”Isaid,namingaplacenotfrequentedbyBigMenonCampus.Heleapedfromthebedandpacedtheroom.“I’vegottohavearaccooncoat,”hesaidpassionately.“I’vegotto!”“Petey,why?Lookatitrationally.Raccooncoatsareunsanitary.Theyshed.Theysmellbad.Theyweightoomuch.They’reunsightly.They—”“Youdon’tunderstand,”heinterruptedimpatiently.“It’sthethingtodo.Don’tyouwanttobeintheswim?”“No,”Isaidtruthfully.“Well,Ido,”hedeclared.“I’dgiveanythingforaraccooncoat.Anything!”Mybrain,thatprecisioninstrument,slippedintohighgear.“Anything?”Iasked,lookingathimnarrowly.“Anything,”heaffirmedinringingtones.Istrokedmychinthoughtfully.ItsohappenedthatIknewwheretogetmyhandsonaraccooncoat.Myfatherhadhadoneinhisundergraduatedays;itlaynowinatrunkintheatticbackhome.ItalsohappenedthatPeteyhadsomethingIwanted.Hedidn’thaveitexactly,butatleasthehadfirstrightsonit.Irefertohisgirl,PollyEspy.IhadlongcovetedPollyEspy.Letmeemphasizethatmydesireforthisyoungwomanwasnotemotionalinnature.Shewas,tobesure,agirlwhoexcitedtheemotions,butIwasnotonetoletmyheartrulemyhead.IwantedPollyforashrewdlycalculated,entirelycerebralreason.Iwasafreshmaninlawschool.InafewyearsIwouldbeoutinpractice.Iwaswellawareoftheimportanceoftherightkindofwifeinfurtheringalawyer’scareer.ThesuccessfullawyersIhadobservedwere,almostwithoutexception,marriedtobeautiful,gracious,intelligentwomen.Withoneomission,Pollyfittedthesespecificationsperfectly.Beautifulshewas.Shewasnotyetofpin-upproportions,butIfeltthattimewouldsupplythelack.Shealreadyhadthemakings.Graciousshewas.BygraciousImeanfullofgraces.Shehadanerectnessofcarriage,aneaseofbearing,apoisethatclearlyindicatedthebestofbreeding.Attablehermannerswereexquisite.IhadseenherattheKozyKampusKornereatingthespecialtyofthehouse—asandwichthatcontainedscrapsofpotroast,gravy,choppednuts,andadipperofsauerkraut—withoutevengettingherfingersmoist.Intelligentshewasnot.Infact,sheveeredintheoppositedirection.ButIbelievedthatundermyguidanceshewouldsmartenup.Atanyrate,itwasworthatry.Itis,afterall,easiertomakeabeautifuldumbgirlsmartthantomakeanuglysmartgirlbeautiful.“Petey,”Isaid,“areyouinlovewithPollyEspy?”“Ithinkshe’sakeenkid,”hereplied,“butIdon’tknowifyou’dcallitlove.Why?”“Doyou,”Iasked,“haveanykindofformalarrangementwithher?Imeanareyougoingsteadyoranythinglikethat?”“No.Weseeeachotherquiteabit,butwebothhaveotherdates.Why?”“Isthere,”Iasked,“anyothermanforwhomshehasaparticularfondness?”“NotthatIknowof.Why?”Inoddedwithsatisfaction.“Inotherwords,ifyouwereoutofthepicture,thefieldwouldbeopen.Isthatright?”“Iguessso.Whatareyougettingat?”“Nothing,nothing,”Isaidinnocently,andtookmysuitcaseoutthecloset.“Whereareyougoing?”askedPetey.“Homeforweekend.”Ithrewafewthingsintothebag.“Listen,”hesaid,clutchingmyarmeagerly,“whileyou’rehome,youcouldn’tgetsomemoneyfromyouroldman,couldyou,andlendittomesoIcanbuyaraccooncoat?”“Imaydobetterthanthat,”Isaidwithamysteriouswinkandclosedmybagandleft.“Look,”IsaidtoPeteywhenIgotbackMondaymorning.Ithrewopenthesuitcaseandrevealedthehuge,hairy,gamyobjectthatmyfatherhadworninhisStutzBearcatin1925.“HolyToledo!”saidPeteyreverently.Heplungedhishandsintotheraccooncoatandthenhisface.“HolyToledo!”herepeatedfifteenortwentytimes.“Wouldyoulikeit?”Iasked.“Ohyes!”hecried,clutchingthegreasypelttohim.Thenacannylookcameintohiseyes.“Whatdoyouwantforit?”“Yourgirl.”Isaid,mincingnowords.“Polly?”hesaidinahorrifiedwhisper.“YouwantPolly?”“That’sright.”Heflungthecoatfromhim.“Never,”hesaidstoutly.Ishrugged.“Okay.Ifyoudon’twanttobeintheswim,Iguessit’syourbusiness.”Isatdowninachairandpretendedtoreadabook,butoutofthecornerofmyeyeIkeptwatchingPetey.Hewasatornman.Firsthelookedatthecoatwiththeexpressionofawaifatabakerywindow.Thenheturnedawayandsethisjawresolutely.Thenhelookedbackatthecoat,withevenmorelonginginh