高三公开课读后续写how-to-polish-your-writing

Withagianttearinhereye,thelittlegirllookedupathim.Sheforcedasmile,saying“Thankyou”andwalkedtowardsthedoor.Pappythoughtofhisdaughterandsaidtothegirlloudly,“Howmuchhaveyougottospend?”Hearingthis,thelittlegirlcountedmoneyinherpurse---twodollars.Afterthinkingforafewseconds,Pappysaid,“TodayisChristmasDayandthisisyourluckyday.Thebellcoststwodollars.”Thechildwentout,holdingthespecialbellinherhand.GradethestoryLaterthateveningwhenPappywasclosinguptheshop,heheardafamiliarringing.Hecouldn’tbelievehisears.Thegirlstoodinthedoorway,ringingthebellhappily.ThenPappygotclosetoherandasked,“Haveyouchangedyourmind,Miss?”“No.MyMommasaysthepresentisforyou.”saidthechild.BeforePappyhadtimetosayanotherword,ayoungwomanwalkedin.ShesaidtoPappy,“Hello,Dad.”Howtopolishyourstory?润色文章的技巧技巧1.使用较高级的词汇2.使用较丰富的句式3.使用恰当的连接词properconjunctionsabundantsentencepatternsadvancedwordsandphrasesHowtopolishyourwords?“小”心思——丰满人物内心Innerthoughtstoportraythefigures“小”词汇——增加表达效果Detailedverbstomakeexpressionspowerful“小”细节——丰富故事情节ProperadvtoenrichyourstoryTip1：“小”心思——丰满人物内心悲伤快乐2016年10月高考作文23分Tip1：“小”心思——丰满人物内心震惊2017年6月高考作文23分Oneday,theBrother,whohadbecomeaMonk,forcedhimselfonthesameroadwherehefoundaccommodationyearsago.①Hedecidedtovisitthefamily.②Buttheshabbycottagewasnowheretobefound.Heonlyfoundasplendidhouse.③Hethoughtthefamilymightdie.Suddenly,amancameout.Themonkrecognizedhim.Itwasthefatherofthefamily.Soheasked,“Haveyoulivedhere?”Tip1：“小”心思——丰满人物内心Oneday,theBrother,whohadbecomeaMonk,forcedhimselfonthesameroadwherehefoundaccommodationyearsago.①Drivenbyasenseofregret,hedecidedtovisitthefamily.②Tohisgreatsurprise,theshabbycottagewasnowheretobefound.Heonlyfoundasplendidhouse.③Uponthinkingthefamilymighthavestarvedtodeath,hesighedwithguilt.Suddenly,amancameout.Themonkrecognizedhim.Itwasthefatherofthefamily.Soheasked,“Haveyoulivedhere?”Tip1：“小”心思——丰满人物内心Let’scompare！①Hedecidedtovisitthefamily.②Buttheshabbycottagewasnowheretobefound.Heonlyfoundasplendidhouse.③Hethoughtthefamilymightdie.①Drivenbyasenseofregret,hedecidedtovisitthefamily.②Tohisgreatsurprise,theshabbycottagewasnowheretobefound.Heonlyfoundasplendidhouse.③Uponthinkingthefamilymighthavestarvedtodeath,hesighedwithguilt.Inconclusion，thedescriptionofinnerthoughtscanmakeourstorymorelogical,reasonable,creativeandpowerful.Howtodescribeyourinnerfeelings?1.Feelinghappy/sad/angry/guilty/depressed…,2.Drivenbycuriosity/asenseofregret/sympathy….或者是Deeplytouched/movedby…3.….,fullofregret/anger/fear/gratitude/sadness…4.Toone’sdisappointment/surprise/delight/relief/astonishment…5.insurprise/relief/anger或者是withsatisfaction/excitement(等于一个副词）6.具体的动作描写standfrozen,jumpwithjoy,tremblewithanger,withtearsfillingone’seyes,withone’seyeswideopen等等Let’shaveatry!1.Pappysaidtothegirl,“Howmuchhaveyougottospend?”Drivenbyasenseofsympathy,Pappysaidtothegirl,“Howmuchhaveyougottospend?”2.Thechildwalkedout,holdingthespecialbellinherhands.Thechildwentoutwithgreatjoy,holdingthespecialbellinherhands.3.ThenPappygotclosetoherandasked,“Haveyouchangedyourmind,Miss?”Feelingpuzzled,Pappygotclosetoherandasked,“Haveyouchangedyourmind,Miss?”4.ShesaidtoPappy,“Hello,Dad.”Withtearsfillinghereyes,shesaidtoPappycheerfully,“Hello,Dad.”Withagianttearinhereye,thelittlegirllookedupathim.Sheforcedasmile,saying“Thankyou”andwalkedtowardsthedoor.Pappythoughtofhisdaughter.Drivenbyasenseofsympathy,Pappysaidtothegirlloudly,“Howmuchhaveyougottospend?”Hearingthis,thelittlegirlcountedmoneyinherpurse---twodollars.Afterthinkingforafewseconds,Pappysaid,“TodayisChristmasDayandthisisyourluckyday.Thebellcoststwodollars.”Thechildwentoutwithgreatjoy,holdingthespecialbellinherhand.LaterthateveningwhenPappywasclosinguptheshop,heheardafamiliarringing.Hecouldn’tbelievehisears.Thegirlstoodinthedoorway,ringingthebellhappily.Feelingpuzzled,Pappygotclosetoherandasked,“Haveyouchangedyourmind,Miss?”“No.MyMommasaysthepresentisforyou.”saidthechild.BeforePappyhadtimetosayanotherword,ayoungwomanwalkedin.Tearsfillinghereyes,shesaidtoPappycheerfully,“Hello,Dad.”Tip2：“小”词汇——增加表达效果Brainstorming:tellsaywhispermurmurspeaktalkcryoutshoutrespondreplyexplainscreamroarannouncedeclareyell…callout①Thegovernment_________astateofemergency.②“Getoutofmyhouse!”Theofficer______.③He_________somethinginhissleep.④Seeingthefilmstar,thefans________withexcitement.⑤Askedwhyhewaslate,Alex________thathiscarhadbrokendown.Tip2：“小”词汇——增加表达效果declaredroaredmurmuredscreamedexplained1.Thegirlforcedasmile,saying“Thankyou.”andturnedtowardsthedoor.2.Drivenbyasenseofsympathy,Pappysaidtothegirlloudly,“Howmuchhaveyougottospend,Missy?”Let’shaveatry!murmuringcalledout3.Afterthinkingforafewseconds,Pappysaid,“TodayisChristmasDayandthisisyourluckyDay.”4.“No.MyMommasaysthepresentisforyou.”saidthechild.5.Tearsfillinghereyes,shesaidcheerfully,“Hello,Dad.”announcedexplainedcriedoutWhatyouaresupposedtobearinmind:只要是记叙文，难以逃脱的动作描写肯定有，动嘴，动手与动脚。除了熟知各种说的表达方式外，请记住各种看，和各种走Eg:see,watch,observe,peep,lookaround,lookback,stareat,glareat,glanceat,catchsightof,losesightof,etcEg:walk,run,wander,dash,strollaround,pacebackandfor