6 Jokes-1

1英语成人笑话集，汇集英语笑话一万多个，用词简单，笑话创意并带有dirty色彩，大家可以边看边笑边学习英语，同时也可以了解到外国人的成人观念，生活习俗，还有很多可以当有色彩的短信发。请版主不要删除哈，这个英语成人笑话集是为学习英语用的哈。我汇集了二十几个英语笑话集，自己创造的，决对不可能在网上找到的。大家可以先下载一个，看看，如果你笑不出来，感觉不到快乐和兴奋，就不要继续下载就是。看我这英语成人笑话集，你会从头到尾笑个不停，不会有看英语书要范困的现象出现。以下我先例出几例，请大家下载前品尝一二。DirtyJokesI●Amanandhiswifegototheirhoneymoonhotelfortheir25thanniversary.Asthecouplereflectedonthatmagicalevening25yearsago,thewifeaskedthehusband,Whenyoufirstsawmynakedbodyinfrontofyou,whatwasgoingthroughyourmind?Thehusbandreplied,AllIwantedtodowastofuckyourbrainsout,andsuckyourtitsdry.Then,asthewifeundressed,sheasked,Whatareyouthinkingnow?Hereplied,ItlooksasifIdidaprettygoodjob.●Asanairplaneisabouttocrash,afemalepassengerjumpsupfranticallyandannounces,IfI'mgoingtodie,Iwanttodiefeelinglikeawoman.Sheremovesallherclothingandasks,Istheresomeoneonthisplanewhoismanenoughtomakemefeellikeawoman?Amanstandsup,removeshisshirtandsays,Here,ironthis!.●Onemorningawomanwaswalkingoutofherfrontdoor,whenshenoticesastrangelittlemanatthebottomofhergarden.You'reagoblin,shesays,Icaughtyouandyouowemethreewishes!.SothegoblinrepliesOK,youcaughtmefairandsquare,what'syourfirstwish?.Thewomanstopsandthinksforasecond,Iwantahugemansiontolivein.,goblinsrepliesOK,you'vegotit..Womanagainthinksitover,MysecondwishisaMercedes.OK,you'vegotthattoo.2Mylastwishisamilliondollars!.ThegoblinthensaysOK,you'vegotit.Buttomakeyourwishescometrueyouhavetohavesexallnightwithme.OKthen,ifthat'swhatittakes...Nextmorningthelittlemanwakesthewomanup.Tellme,saystheman,howoldareyou?I'm27,sherepliesFuckme,saystheman,27andyoustillbelieveingoblins●Thenewlywedsareintheirhoneymoonroomandthegroomdecidestoletthebrideknowwhereshestandsrightfromthestartofthemarriage.Heproceedstotakeoffhistrousersandthrowthemather.Hesays,Putthoseon.Thebridereplies,Ican'twearyourtrousers.Hereplies,Anddon'tforgetthat!Iwillalwayswearthepantsinthefamily!Thebridetakesoffherknickersandthrowsthemathimwiththesamerequest,Trythoseon!Hereplies,Ican'tgetintoyourknickers!Andyouneverbloodywillifyoudon'tchangeyourattitude.●Howarewomenandtornadoesalike?Theybothmoanlikehellwhentheycome,andtakethehousewhentheyleave.●Therewasanelderlymanwhowantedtomakehisyoungerwifepregnant.So,hewenttothedoctortohaveaspermcountdone.Thedoctortoldhimtotakeaspecimencuphome,fillit,andbringitbackthenextday.Theelderlymancamebackthenextdayandthespecimencupwasemptyandthelidwasonit.Doctor:Whatwastheproblem?Elderlyman:Well,youItriedwithmyrighthand...nothing.So,Itriedwithmylefthand...nothing.Mywifetriedwithherrighthand...nothing.Herlefthand...nothing.Hermouth...nothing.Thenmywife'sfriendtried.Righthand,lefthand,mouth....stillnothing.Doctor:Waitaminute.Youmeanyourwife'sfriendtoo?!Elderlyman:Yeah,andwestillcouldn'tgetthelidoffofthespecimencup.●Aguywalksintoaspermdonorbankwearingaskimaskandholdingagun.Hegoesuptothenurseanddemandshertoopenthespermbankvault.ShesaysButsir,itsjustaspermbank!,Idon'tcare,openitnow!!!hereplies.Sosheopensthedoortothevaultandinsideareallthespermsamples.TheguysaysTakeone3ofthosespermsamplesanddrinkit!,shelooksathimBUT,theyarespermsamples,DOIT!.Sothenursesucksitback.Thatonethere,drinkthatoneaswell.,sothenursedrinksthatoneaswell.Finallyafter4samplesthemantakesoffhisskimaskandsays,Seehoney-itsnotthathard.●Therearefourkindsofsex:HOUSESEX-Whenyouarenewlymarriedandhavesexalloverthehouseineveryroom.BEDROOMSEX-Afteryouhavebeenmarriedforawhile,youonlyhavesexinthebedroom.HALLSEX-Afteryou'vebeenmarriedformany,manyyearsyoujustpasseachotherinthehallandsayFUCKYOUCOURTROOMSEX-Whenyourwifeandherlawyerfuckyouinthedivorcecourtinfrontofmanypeopleforeverypennyyou'vegot.●Thisbeautifulwomanonedaywalksintoadoctorsofficeandthedoctorisbowledoverbyhowstunninglyawesomesheis.Allhisprofessionalismgoesrightoutthewindow...Hetellshertotakeherpants,shedoes,andhestartsrubbingherthighs.DoyouknowwhatIamdoing?asksthedoctor?Yes,checkingforabnormalities.shereplies.Hetellshertotakeoffhershirtandbra,shetakesthemoff.Thedoctorbeginsrubbingherbreastsandasks,DoyouknowwhatIamdoingnow?,shereplies,Yes,checkingforcancer.Finally,hetellshertotakeoffherpanties,laysheronthetable,getsontopofherandstartshavingsexwithher.Hesaystoher,DoyouknowwhatIamdoingnow?Shereplies,Yes,gettingherpies-thatswhyIamhere!●Thiscouplewereinbedgettingbusywhenthegirlplacestheguyshandontoherpussy.Putyourfingerinme...sheaskshim.Sohedoeswithouthesitation,asshestartsmoaning.Puttwofingersin...,shesays.Soingoesanotherone.She'sreallystartingtogetworkedupwhenshesays,Putyourwholehandin!.Theguy'slike,Ok!.Sohehashisentirehandin,whenshesaysmoaningaloudPutbothyourhandsinsideofme!!!.Sotheguyputsbothofhishandsin!Nowclapyourhands...commandsthegirl.Ican't,saystheguy.Thegirllooksathimand4saysSee,ItoldyouIhadatightpussy!.●Adog,acat,andapenisaresittingaroundacampfireonenight.Thedogsays,Mylifesucks,mymastermakesmedomybusinessonafirehydrent!.Thecatsays,Idon'tthinkso,mymastermakesmedomybusinessinaboxofcatlitter.Thepenisoutraged,saysAtleastyourmasterdoesn'tputabagoveryourheadandmakeyoudopushupsuntilyouthrowup!●Amanandawomanstartedtohavesexinthemiddleofadarkforest.Afterabo