幽默英语小故事

【1】AttheLessonofGeography（在地理课上）Ateacherputhisfingeronsomeplaceonthemapandsaid:“Whatisthis,John?”Johngotupandsaid:“Yourforefinger['fɔ:,fiŋɡə]．”老师用手指在地图上指着某一个地方，说：“约翰，这是什么呀？”约翰站起身来，说：“是你的食指。”【1】AttheLessonofGeography（在地理课上）老师用手指在地图上指着某一个地方，说：“约翰，这是什么呀？”约翰站起身来，说：“是你的食指。”Ateacherputhisfingeronsomeplaceonthemapandsaid:“Whatisthis,John?”Johngotupandsaid:“Yourforefinger．”【2】AttheLessonofPhysics（在物理课上）Teacher:Explain[ik'splein],please,theeffect[i'fekt]ofcoldandheatandgiveexamples．Pupil（学生）:Coldcontracts['kɔntrækts],heatexpands[ik'spændz]．That'swhydaysareshorterinwinterandlongerinsummer．老师：请解释一下冷和热的作用，并举例说明。学生：热胀冷缩。这就是夏天日子长冬天日子短的原因。【2】AttheLessonofPhysics（在物理课上）老师：请解释一下冷和热的作用，并举例说明。学生：热胀冷缩。这就是夏天日子长冬天日子短的原因。Teacher:Explain,please,theeffectofcoldandheatandgiveexamples．Pupil（学生）:Coldcontracts,heatexpands．That'swhydaysareshorterinwinterandlongerinsummer．【3】Twenty-eightDaysTeacher:Now,Nick,tellmewhichmonthhastwenty-eightdaysinit．Nick（thinksalittleandsays）：Theyallhave．老师：尼克，请你告诉我：哪一个月是有二十八天的？尼克（考虑了一会儿，说）：每个月都有二十八天。【3】Twenty-eightDays老师：尼克，请你告诉我：哪一个月是有二十八天的？尼克（考虑了一会儿，说）：每个月都有二十八天。Teacher:Now,Nick,tellmewhichmonthhastwenty-eightdaysinit．Nick（thinksalittleandsays）：Theyallhave．【4】ThepenBill:Mary,givemeyourpen,please．Mary:Whydon'tyouwanttowritewithyourownpen?Bill:Becauseitalwaysmakessomanymistakes．比尔：玛丽，你的钢笔请给我用一用。玛丽：为什么你不想用你自己的钢笔写呢？比尔：因为它经常产生许多错误。【4】Thepen比尔：玛丽，你的钢笔请给我用一用。玛丽：为什么你不想用你自己的钢笔写呢？比尔：因为它经常产生许多错误。Bill:Mary,givemeyourpen,please．Mary:whydon'tyouwanttowritewithyourownpen?Bill:Becauseitalwaysmakessomanymistakes．【5】Anne'sAge（安妮的年龄）Teacher:Howoldareyou,Anne?Anne:Fifteen．Teacher:Butyouwereonlysevenlastyear,andnowyouareeightyearsold．Anne:Well,sevenlastyearandeightthisyearmakefifteen．老师：安妮，你几岁？安妮：十五岁。老师：你去年才七岁，现在应该是八岁啊！安妮：对啦，去年七岁加今年八岁等于十五岁。【5】Anne'sAge（安妮的年龄）老师：安妮，你几岁？安妮：十五岁。老师：你去年才七岁，现在应该是八岁啊！安妮：对啦，去年七岁加今年八岁等于十五岁。Teacher:Howoldareyou,Anne?Anne:Fifteen．Teacher:Butyouwereonlysevenlastyear,andnowyouareeightyearsold．Anne:Well,sevenlastyearandeightthisyearmakefifteen．[6]AnnonTomsaid:Youarepigs.Tomsaid:I​​amapigstrange!fromAnncalledTom'pigstrange',andfinallyoneday,TomcouldnothelpbutfacethefrontofeveryoneshoutedAnn:I​​amnotastrangepig![6]Ann对Tom说：“你是猪。”Tom说：“我是猪才怪！”从此Ann就叫Tom‘猪才怪’，终于有一天，Tom忍不住当着众人的面对Ann吼道：“我不是猪才怪！”[7]A:“ThismatterIjusttellyouoneperson,youmustthesecret['si:krit]forme.B:“Trust['trʌst],notonlyIwantsecretforyou,Iwilltelleverybodytobesecretforyou.[7]甲：”这件事我只告诉你一人，请你千万为我保密。乙：”放心，不但我要为你保密，我还要告诉大家都来为你保密。”[8]StupidQuestionDanwasthedoorman['dɔ:mæn]ofaclubinabigcity.Everyday,thousandsofpeoplepassedhisdoor,andalotofthemstoppedandaskedhim,What'sthetime,please?Afterafewmonths,Dansaidtohimself,I'mnotgoingtoanswerallthosestupidpeopleanymore.I'mgoingtobuyabigclockandputituponthewallhere.Thenhedidso.“Nowpeoplearen'tgoingtostopandaskmethetime,hethoughthappily.Butafterthat,alotofpeoplestopped,lookedattheclockandthenaskedDan,Isthatclockright?”[8]愚蠢的问题丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。每天都有数千人经过他的门口，而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点？”几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，我要去买一只大钟，把它挂在这儿的墙上。”于是他买了一只钟，把它挂在了墙上。“现在人们总不会再停下来问我时间了。”他高兴地想。可是打那以后，每天仍有许多人停下来，看看钟，然后问丹:“这钟准吗？”