探索英语作文读后续写的艺术美：2020浙江宁波十校联考高三英语书面表达写作指导解读

探索英语作文读后续写的艺术美：2020宁波十校联考英语写作指导原题重现阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。Itwasapeacefulnight.Iwassleepingwithmybrothers,feelingwarmandcomfortable.Mamawassleepingnearby,coveredbysnow.Papawassomewherenearby,watchingoverus.Therewasabrightmoonandwehadallhadagoodmealofvenison(鹿肉)Papahadcaughtearlier.“UncleLouisiscoming”,Papasaid.WelovedUncleLouis.Hewasafunnywolf,andalwayshadinterestingthingstotellusandshowus.Alittlewhilelater,UncleLouisappeared.WedidnotapproachhimwithrespectthewayweapproachedPapa.Weflewathim,jumpedalloverhim,androlledhiminthesnow.UncleLouislaughedandpatteduswithhispaws.Heisblackallover,withyelloweyes,andheisverytall.“It'sthelongestnightoftheyear”,UncleLouissaid,“Doeseveryonefeelliketakingarunthroughthewoods?Iwanttoshowyousomethingunusual.”Hearingthat,Papawarnedthatitwasdangeroustogonearthatpackofhumanswholivedinthewoods.“Theyarehardlydangerous”,UncleLouislaughed,“Theyaresoclumsyandmakesomuchnoise.Theyarenotabletogetnearus——orevenseeusifwedon'twantthemto.Besides,thisistheirspecialnight.Theyarequitepeacefulandwon'tbebotheringaboutwolves.”“Oh,please,Papa,letusrunthroughthewoodswithUncleLouisandseesomethingunusual!”Weallbegged.“Itisafinenight”,Papasmiled,“Imustadmit,Idofeellikerunning.”注意：1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2.至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语；3.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；4.续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Paragraph1Andwewereoff,allofus,headingtowardsthewoods.Paragraph2Westoppedandsatonahillsideandbelowuswasthehumans’place.分析故事人物Papa:humansaredangerousUncleLouis:afunnywolfMybrotherandI:neverseehumans环境Moon,star,winternight,peaceful主要情节Iwanttoshowyousomethingunusual.这个分析可以看出来：故事主旨应该是平和的，根据peaceful可以看出来，所以不适合写人和狼发生激烈的冲突。写作步骤一、抓主旨下的矛盾Conflict:findtheunusualthingSolution:celebratewiththehumans二、抓凸显矛盾解决的结尾结尾：以景结情，情景交融，呼应主题Thatunusualnight,theharmoniousnoise,Iremembered,wentoverthehillandfurthertothemoon.我记得那个不寻常的夜晚，这和谐的噪音越过树林，传得那么远，远到了月亮之上。主题词：unusual,moon三、抓主要动作：ActionandResponse一个故事的action尽量用3-5句概括，三句是最理想的，情节越简单，细节就越丰富。结合两段开头，我们可以猜测动作：Andwewereoff,allofus,headingtowardsthewoods.1、Wedashed.2、Wesawhumans.（看到人后，应该就要停下来，这样是衔接的）Westoppedandsatonahillsideandbelowuswasthehumans'place.3、Wejoinedintheiractivity.关键是最后一个action，如何实现？我想起了《和狼共舞》电影，邓巴围着篝火跳舞，一个人在野外，远处是一个狼静静看着。后来，这只狼成为他的好朋友。这个电影对我触动很大，人和狼不一定就必须是你死我活的零和博弈。另外《绿皮书》电影中的黑人走进酒吧弹琴，大家侧目静看，然后爆发雷鸣般掌声，让我写出了这样的结尾。有时候，我真的发现，多看经典电影，多思考导演为什么这样安排，对我们写作有很大的促进。四、抓环境描写和情感变化环境的描写重在景和情要完全融合，我这样安排：景色情感变化Themoonwashedthewoodsinagentlelight.Thestarstwinkledlikeachild’scuriouseyesblinkingwithanticipation.期待（anticipation）好奇（curious）Thechillingwindsuddenlysentwavesofnervousnesscoursingthroughme.紧张（nervous）Withthis,wespedup,thepiercingcrunchofthesnowunderourfeetripplingthroughtheairandsendingthebirdsflutteringamongthetrees.期待ButIndulgingintheirhappiness,mybrothercannothelphowling.开心（happy）Suddenly,totalsilencedescendedonthehillside.Allthehumanslookedatusinterror,andsodidus.恐惧（terror）Unexpectedly,aroaroflaughterbrokeoutandthenthecelebrationwentonmoreenthusiastically.开心说明：这个句子：Atthis,wespedup,thepiercingcrunchofthesnowunderourfeetripplingthroughtheairandsentthebirdscrashingthroughthetrees.我想到了李清照的词：常记溪亭日暮，沉醉不知归路。兴尽晚回舟，误入藕花深处。争渡，争渡，惊起一滩鸥鹭。汉语诗歌对写作也有很多启发，写景重在意境，心中有画，此为大美。景色描写对于月亮星星描写，我是直接把moon，star在各种大辞典里查，我认为词典里里的描写都是通俗易懂的，不至于高不可攀，具有普遍适应性。试水范文Andwewereoff,allofus,headingtowardsthewoods.Themoonwashedthewoodsinagentlelight.Thestarstwinkledlikeachild’scuriouseyesblinkingwithanticipation.Thechillingwindsuddenlysentwavesofnervousnesscoursingthroughme.“Arewegoingtomeetthedangeroushumans?”Ifeltmysoundquivering.“Relax.Weareseeingtheunusualthing.”UncleLouissmiled.Withthis,wespedup,thepiercingcrunchofthesnowunderourfeetripplingthroughtheairandsendingthebirdsflutteringamongthetrees.Shortly,abigbonfirecameintoview.Westoppedandsatonahillsideandbelowuswasthehumans'place.Now,notfaraway,aroundthebonfirearedancingmanyhumans,handinhand.Papawarnedusnottostartlethem.ButIndulgingintheirhappiness,mybrothercannothelphowling.Suddenly,totalsilencedescendedonthehillside.Allthehumanslookedatusinterror,andsodidus.Mybrother,notknowingwhathappenedatall,imitatedtheirdancingclumsily.Unexpectedly,aroaroflaughterbrokeoutandthenthecelebrationwentonmoreenthusiastically.Thatunusualnight,theharmoniousnoise,Iremembered,wentoverthehillandfurthertothemoon.官方范文是对故事作者的原文的删改，尤其是景色描写和结尾艺术非常值得细细感悟，请读者一定不要放过：官方答案Paragraph1Andwewereoff,allofus,headingtowardsthewoods.Itwasalmostmidnight.Thesnowfeltcrispyandcrunchyunderourfeet.Themoonshonesilveronmybrother'sfur,andthestarswereasbrightasdiamonds.Aswedashedthroughthewoods,webreathedthecoldairdeepintoourlungs,feelingrefreshed.WithPapaandUncleLouisleadingtheway,IfeltstrongandlightasthoughIcouldrunforever.Thenwesmelledsomethingnice.Paragraph2Westoppedandsatonahillsideandbelowuswasthehumans'place.ItwasthefirsttimemybrothersandIhadeverapproachedthosewoodenthings,which,accordingtoUncleLouis,weremadebyputtingpiecesofwoodtogether.Wedidn'tseeanyhumans,butwecouldhearthemsingingtogetherinsidethewoodenthingswithwarmlightshiningoutthroughtheholes.Itwaspeaceful.Ithought,“Eveniftheyaredangerous,theyareanimals,justlikeweare.”Thenwethrewbac