GRE 评改文章及写作策略

包凡一GRE写作讲义GRE评改文章及写作策略CurrentProblems1.noexamplesorevidencetosupportstatements2.failuretodemonstratetheunderstandingofthecomplexitya.implicationsofastatement(legallybansmoking),b.qualificationofastatement(narrowdownageneralandvaguestatement),c.andacknowledgethemeritsinanopposingview3.threebodyparagraphsinsteadoftwo(prepareexamplesinadvance)4.toapplytheTOEFLtacticstoGRE5.simplerepitioninthefinalparagraph6.poorworkingvocabularySolutionswriteexampleswritebeginningparagraphsandandanoutlineforthebodypartsendittomeatmyemailaddressincreaseworkingvocabularyReserchPaperasanexampleFirstChapter1.hypothesisandnull-hypothesis2.literaturereview3.methodologydiscussion4.conclusionSecondChapterThecontentofthesurveyTheoperationorthecalculationConcludingChapterFirstparagraphstateswhatthischapterisabout.Thelastparagraphstateswhathasbeentalkedabout.PSasexamplesBand4and6asexamples缺乏例证NonmainstreamareasandHumanNeedsRules:Presentyourperspectiveontheissuebelow,usingrelevantreasonsand/orexamplestosupportyourviews.Topic:Suchnonmainstreamareasofinquiryasastrology,fortune-telling,andpsychicandparanormalpursuitsplayavitalroleinsocietybysatisfyinghumanneedsthatarenotaddressedbymainstreamscience.原稿：Itistruethatincontemporarysocietythenonmainstreamareasofinquiry,suchasastrology,fortune-tellingandthelike,satisfyhumanneedsmorethanthemainstreamscience.Butwhatweshouldbearinmindisthat,alwaysitisthemainstreamsciencethatpointoutthewaytoovercomevariousobstacles,andlightuppeople'shopeintruemeaning.语言错误：1.“Itistrue”是多余的。第一句话中的”more”出了很大的问题，曲解了原意,把nonmainstream的作用说的比mainstreamenquiry还要重要。原来说的是“playavitalrole”,并不是“pivotal”role.书面英语中应避免使用“Andthelike”。“燃起希望”：sparkhope,kindlehope“lightup”的意思是给人带来兴奋和快乐，如：TheshiningreportcardslitFather’sfaceup./Thefunnycaroonpicturelitupthechildren'seyes.改后稿：Incontemporarysocietynonmainstreamareasofinquirysuchasastrologyandfortune-tellingsatisfyhumanneedsmorethanmainstreamscience.Butweshouldbearinmindthatmainstreamsciencealwayspointsthewaytoovercomeobstaclesandsparkspeople’shopeinfindingtruth.第1段写作要求1.putforthaclearperspective2.demonstratetheunderstandingofthecomplexitiesorimplicationsoftheissue.3.preparereadersforthemainideasofthefollowingparagraphs改后稿2.Indeed,astrology,fortune-tellingandpsychicreadingscansometimesprovidecomfortwhenwearefeelingsad,colorourliveswhenwearebored,andsparkhopewhenwearedepressed.Butthesepursuitsareultimatelybasedonfalsehoodandtheirbenefitsareshort-livedandillusionary.Sicenceremainsthemostreliablemeansthroughwhichweunderstandourselves,derivewisdom,confidenceandhope.原稿：Althoughcallednonmainstreamareas,weshouldnotignorethattosomeextent,theseareassuchasastrologyplayanactiveroleinsociety.Wecanseethatinvariousfestivals,nomatterChinese(suchasSpringFestival)orWestern(suchasValentine'sDay),peoplearewillingtoresorttoastrology,mostlyhopingtomeetgoodluck.Thiskindofactivitiyalwaysmeetstheirneeds,becausetheanquivolentnatureofastrologydestinesitwillnotdampenpeople'senthusiasmandhope.Withthesenonmainstreamareaspeople'slifebecomesmorecolorful.点评：第一句话语法错误，主语应该是”theseareas”,但是现在看上去变成了“We”.“Nomatter”应改为“whether”。“meetgoodluck”不是好的英语表达。“Thiskind”后面应该是复数。“destine”一词表示“一定”，通常是用形容词：HewasdestinedforanimportantcareerintheChurchofEngland./Byfamilytraditionhewasdestinedforacareerasaregulararmyofficer.Mandela’sstatementfromprisondestinedtosmolderinthehomesandservantquarters.改后稿：Althoughtheyarecallednonmainstream,weshouldadmitthattosomeextent,beliefssuchasastrologyplayanactiveroleinsociety.Wecanseethatinvariousholidays,whetherChineseorWestern,peoplearewillingtoresorttononmainstreamideas.Thesekindsofactivitiesmeetourneedsbecausetheyencourageenthusiasmandhopeandmakepeople’slivesmorecolorful.评语：本文中的例子不足以支持论点，情人节不是什么占星术，人们也不会寄希其带来好运。中国的春节习俗在中国是非常主流的文化内容，不能算是非主流的。国外源于宗教的节日都不能归类于非主流。作者说了非主流的信仰能够丰富人们的生活，我们一定要用具体的实例来说明这些信仰如何丰富了人们的生活。其实，在这段中可以说明一下非科学的信仰解决了人们的什么方面的需求，在接下来的段落中对比说明科学又能给人们带来什么不同的好处。改后稿2：Althoughtheyarecallednonmainstream,weshouldadmitthattosomeextent,beliefssuchasastrologyplayanactiveroleinsociety.Aglanceattheastrologycolumnindifferentnewspapersandmagazinesrevealsdo’sanddon’tsthatcontainmoreencouragementthanwarning...Frequentlytherearephraseslike:“Aquariusshouldceasefeelingdepressedorexertingpressuresonyourself”,or“ChancesaregoodthatLeowillgetapromotionthisweek,sokeepmovingonandshowyourtalenttoyourboss”,or“ThingsmaygoastrayforVirgothisweek,yetjustwaittoseethesilverliningnextweek.”Thesenonmainstreamcontributionsmeetaneedbecausetheyfosterenthusiasmandhopeandaddcolortoourlives.改后稿3：Althoughtheyarecallednonmainstream,weshouldadmitthattosomeextent,beliefssuchasastrologyplaysomeroleinsociety.Grievingfamilymembersseekingtocontacttheirlostrelativesfindcomfortinbelievingthatmediumscancontactthedead.Somepeoplewhoareworriedabouttheirjobsorfacingdifficultdecisionsfeelmoreassuredaboutthefuturewhentheyconsultapalm-readerorfortune-teller.Thosewholackpowerorfeelthattheearthisalonelyplaceinthevastuniversemayfindamoreacceptableperspectiveinbelievingthatotherbenevolentbeingsexist.Witchcraft,astrology,andpsychicphenomenoncanbefoundinmostcul