我的英语话剧剧本

荆轲刺秦王英语话剧剧本Roles:太子丹；荆轲；谋士阿三；西门吹雪；旁白；变态男；秦始皇；卫兵甲、乙；美女；道具：乒乓球拍，短棍，网球拍，垫子，樊於期人头演员表太子丹：王成谋士阿三：姜翔荆轲：姜展西门吹雪、变态男：胡准旁白、秦始皇:袁将友情出演美女：黄函卫兵甲：秦建金卫兵乙：秦军旁白(Aside)/介绍（Introduction）：Longlongagotherewasacrazycountry,inthiscrazycountrythereweresomecrazypeople,tryingtoshowthecrazyhistorybycrazyways.MrJingkewasthemostfamousswordsmanandwassenttokillkingofQing,“Yingzheng”.Butfinallyhefailed.Doyouwanttoknowwhathappenedatthattime?Okay,nextshowwilltellyouthetruth.ActionIConspire(密谋)太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror,mirror,tellme,whoisthemostprettymanintheworld?(画外音：It’syou,PrinceDan!太子丹高兴状)Thankumirror!（面对观众）I’mPrinceDan,themagicmirrorsaidIamthemostattractivemanintheworld.ButYingZhengisajealousguy,Ifeelhewillkillmeifmirrortoldhimthetruth.Iamsoscared.SowhatcanIdo?(向幕里大叫)Whereismyminister?阿三(毕恭毕敬):Honey,Iamcoming.太子丹：I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smartanddearestPrinceDan”!阿三：Sure,honey!Ihaveagoodidea.WecanfindaherotokillYingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子丹：Ohyeah~~~.Whatisthemostexpensivecommodityinthiscentury?（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！）阿三：Talent!太子丹：Goodidea!Butwhoistherightcandidate?阿三：AfterscreeningIhavetwopromisingpersonsonhand.OneisMrXimenchuixueandtheotheroneisMrJingKe.TomorrowtheywillPKfortheNO1killeroftheworld.太子：Well,showmethewinnerassoonaspossible,OK?阿三：OK.ActionIItournament(比武)旁白：Now,thecompetitionofbeingtheNO1killeroftheworldisbeginning!(运动员进场音乐响起，荆轲上场)（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）(荆轲听到一声琵琶声害怕一下接着西门吹雪上场)西门吹雪:TodayIcamehereforthefighting,ti’ssaidthatsomeonewanttochallengemypositioninthekillerworld,whoistheunwanted-lifeguy.Standout.荆轲（抖嗦而上）站在一边，不敢出大气。荆轲（带剑冲向西门吹雪，半途停住）:AreyoureallyXiMenChuiXue?西门吹雪：Justcomeon.荆轲：（又冲，停在西门吹雪面前）:AreyousureyouarereallytheXiMenChuiXueinthestory?西门吹雪：:（不耐烦）whataboringman!Howdareyouaskmesuchastupidquestion?荆轲（环视四周见无一人，便跪在西门吹雪面前，大哭）:Myhero,Iadmireyoujustliketheyellowriver,neverendless.Ihaveeighty-year-oldmotherup,three-year-oldboydown.Pleasedon’tkillme.Givemethelife,please!西门吹雪（大怒）:IthoughtJingkeisahero.Butyoubegforlife.HowcanIforgiveyou?Givemeyourlife.(举剑刺向荆轲，忽然，捂住自己的肚子，自语)MaybeIatetoomuchthismorning,Maybethereissomethingwrongwiththerice.(抬头)whereisthetoilet?荆轲：T-o-i-l-e-t-?西门吹雪：WC.荆轲：W-C-?西门吹雪：（急）茅厕！！Areyouhappytohearsuchrudewords?荆轲：Iknow,Iknow.Turnleft,leftandleft.(西门吹雪下。)旁白：BecauseoftheabstentionofXimenchuixuesothewinnerisJingke（荆轲双拳高举，大笑，拳皇中八神庵笑声音乐响起）太子丹上（抱拳）：Howareyou?荆柯：Fine,thankyou,andyou?太子丹：OhmyGod!Couldyougivemeaninnovativeanswerto“Howareyou”?荆柯：Sure!太子丹：Howareyou?荆柯：Fine,thankyou,andyourwife?(太子丹晕倒)荆柯：Hey,man,I’mkidding!太子丹：Oh,I’mkiddingtoo!（毕恭毕敬）MayIhaveyournamecard,please?荆轲从兜里掏（出一卷纸，上面写着:Tobeornottobe,that'saquestion.）阿三：Hero，weneedyourhelp.荆柯：Iambusynow!太子丹：Youcangetalotofmoney.荆柯：Iamverybusynow!阿三：IC,ID,IQcard?荆柯：Iamveryverybusynow!（一美女上场）阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状):Look!Sheisthemostbeautifulgirlintheworld.IfyousayO.K.,sheisyours.荆柯（流口水）：Ihavetosaysheisaverysexyandbeautifulgirl,butit’snotmydish!（一变态男飘过，向荆轲抛媚眼，荆轲垂涎三尺，显激动万分并饥渴状。太子丹与阿三对视而奸笑并拦下变态男。）太子丹：I’mthekingofthecountry,soyoumustfollowmayorder（变态男（崇拜发骚状）点头，阿三拉过变态男交到荆轲手中,荆轲变态男喜不自禁相互调情）阿三：Youlovehim?Speakupifyoulovehim!Whydoyoukeepsilent?Whyareyoulookingatme?Althoughyoureyesarefullofsincerity,I’mveryhappy,youstillhavetospeakup.Takehimaway!Doyoureallylove?Really?荆柯(诚恳状)握住阿三的双手：JusttellmewhatshouldIdo?Iwilldoeverythingforyou.太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）：Yeah!ActionШSeparate（惜别）（《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆珂挽着变态男，太子丹,阿三在后.）阿三：Hero,wehavealreadyreachedYishuiRiver.荆珂：Juststophere,please.Farewell,myfriends太子丹：Iwillmissyou,baby.（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与变态男做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型）荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!Youmustdomethishonor...promisemeyouwillsurvive...thatyouwillnevergiveup...nomatterwhathappens...nomatterhowhopeless...promisemenow,andneverletgoofthatpromise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.变态男:Ipromise.荆轲:Neverletgo.“变态男:Ipromise.Iwillneverletgo,honey.I'llneverletgo.（变态男努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去）变态男：It’sagooddaytodie.Nevercomeback.Never……Never……变态男(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)：Thankyouverymuch.AssoonasIgetthelifeassurance$1000,000,Iwilltransferhalfofit,$500,000toyouraccount.阿三：Okayokay!ActionⅣAssassinate（刺杀）（秦始皇宫殿）秦始皇：Letjingkecomein!（荆轲拿上地图与人头上）秦始皇：Showyoursinceritytome!(荆轲将地图打开凶器现，荆轲拿起凶器准备杀秦始皇，被一旁的卫兵甲射杀。）秦始皇（蔑视荆轲尸体）：Wantingtokillingme?Heng,I’mQinshihuang(爱情公寓关谷口音)（大笑，拳皇八神庵笑声起）（片刻后）秦始皇：Takethemtofeedthedogs!（卫兵甲将樊于期人头与荆轲尸体扔出）卫兵甲：Look!mydearmaster,it’sthethingsIfoundinhispocket秦始皇：Yeah?!Showittome。（卫兵拿出一个袋子，打开，里面是一双很久未洗的袜子。）秦始皇大怒：Oh,mygod!Wherearemyarmy?卫兵乙出，两卫兵：Yessir!(军姿敬礼状拿着枪)秦始皇：ThefeetofpeoplelivinginYanaresosmellythatpolluteourlivingconditionsobadly,Ican’tstandsuchadirtycountryintheworld,followingmenow,let’smakethatdirtycountrydisappearedinttheworldforever!秦始皇与两卫兵做骑马状冲向燕（向台下冲去）完