一词多义的英语笑话50篇

英语一词多义笑话50篇1.Youarejustafool.Ican’tbearyou.--Butyourmothercan.（homonymy）2.（Inarestaurant）--Waiter,theeggsmusthavegonebad.--Sorry,Ionlylaidthetable.（polysemy）3.Farmer:Ifyouwanttospendthenighthere,you'llhavetomakeyourownbed.Travelingsalesman:That'sperfectlyallright.Farmer:Here'sahammerandsaw.Goodnight.（polysemy）4.Wecan’tgetdownfromelephants.Wecanonlygetdownfromducks（homonymy）5.Marriageisaninstitutionwhereamanloseshisbachelor’sdegreeandawomangetshermaster's.（homonymy）6.--Ifyouwantmydaughtertomarryyou.Youshouldatleasttellmeonethingpositiveaboutyou.--IamHIVpositive.（polysemy）7.Uglywoman:Don’tyouthinkI’mbeautiful?Photographe:Theanswerliesinthenegative.（homonymy）8.Yourbrainhastwoparts,theleftpartandtherightpart.Therightparthasnothingleft,andtheleftparthasnothingright.——Didyouhearabouttheguywhosewholeleftsidewascutoff?——He'sallrightnow（homonymy）9.TouristswanttofindsomeonetotakepicturesTourists:Excuseme!Areyoufree?prostitute:Ofcoursenot.I'mnotfree.Tourists:why?prostitute:I'm200hundredRMBforonenight,or30dollarsforwholeday（polysemy）10.Ayoungboygoestosocialservicesandtellsthemhehasnowheretolive.Whataboutyourparents?asksthesocialworker.No,theybeatme,saystheboy.Whataboutyourgrandparents?saysthesocialworker.No,theybeatmeevenharder!saystheboy.Well...wheredoyouwanttostaythen?repliesthesocialworker.Tottenham,saystheboy.Theydon'tbeatanyone.（polysemy）11.Adrunkguyapproachesacutegirlinasinglesbar.HiBabe,howaboutadate?Hesays.Don'twasteyourtime.Inevergooutwithaperfectstranger.Itseemswearebothinluck.I'mfarfromperfect.（polysemy）12.Arichmanwenttohislawyerandsaid“IwouldliketomakeawillbutIdon'tknowexactlyhowtogoaboutit.”Thelawyersays“Don’tworry.Leaveitalltome.”Themanlookssomewhatupset...“WellIknewyouweregoingtotakethebiggestslice–butI'dliketoleavealittletomychildrentoo!”（polysemy）13.Adown-and-outmusicianwasplayingtheviolininthemiddleofabigshoppingmall.Hehadhisviolincaseopensothatpassersbycoulddropindonations.Thenaburlysecurityguardmarchedoverandaskedhim,MayIseeyourpermit?Ihaven'tgotone,themusicianconfessed.Inthatcaseyou'llhavetoaccompanyme.Splendid.Whatshallwesing?（polysemy）14.Ahugecollegefreshmandecidedtotryoutforthefootballteam.Canyoutackle?askedthecoach.Watchthis,saidthefreshman,whoproceededtorunsmackintoatelephonepoleandcompletelyknockedoutitover.Wow,saidthecoach,I'mimpressed.Canyourun?OfcourseIcanrun,saidthefreshman.Hewasofflikeashot,andinjustover9secondsrana100-yarddash.Great,thecoachsaid.Butcanyoupassafootball?Thefreshmanhesitatedforasecond.Well,sir,hesaid,IfIcanswallowit,Icanprobablypassit.（polysemy）15.Amedicalstudententeredapatient'sroomcarryingasyringe.Asheapproachedthepatient'sbed,hesaid,Justalittleprickwithaneedle.Iknowwhoyouare,thepatientrelied,butwhatareyougoingtodo?（polysemy）16.Anerdlywomanhadtwosmallterriers,onemale,theotherfemale.Whenthefemaleterrierdied,themaleterrierwasheartbroken,andhediedthenextday.Shetookthetwocarcassestothetaxidermistsothattheycouldbepreserved.Thetaxidermistasked,Doyouwantthemmounted?Shereplied,No,butcouldyouhavethispawinhers?（polysemy）17.Ajudgeisaddressingthehusbandinadivorcecase.MrJohnson,IhavereviewedthiscasecarefullyandIhavedecidedtogiveyourwife$2,000amonth.Thehusbandreplies,That'sverygenerousofyou,yourhonor,and,believeme,I'lltrytohelpoutalittlemyselfnowandthen.（polysemy）18.Mymotherandfatherareinthesteelandironbusiness.Whatdotheydo?（polysemy）19.Iwroteabookaboutwatch-making……everyonesaiditwasabouttime（polysemy）20.Teacher:George,canyougivemelincoln'sGettysburgAddress?George:No,butheusedtoliveattheWhiteHouseinWashingD.C.（polysemy）21.Whywasitsohotafterthebaseballgame?----Allthefansleft（polysemy）22.Whathappenstoafleawhenitbecomesreallyangry?Itgetshoppingmad.23.Judge:Haveyoueverappearedbeforethiscourtinanyothersuit?Lawyer:Why,yes…..thenavypinstripe.（polysemy）24.Dopeoplefishwithapermitinthisarea?----No,wefishwithabait.25.We'vegotthekindofPresidentwhothinksarmscontrolmeanssomekindofdeodorant（polysemy）26.Athlete:I'mgoingtowriteanarticleonjogging.Editor:Fine.Butdon'tuseanyrun-onsentences.27.Mary:whyareyoubringingajumpropetoschool?Terry:I'mgoingtoasktheprincipalifIcanskipagrade.(synonymy)28.Madge:I'vebeenaskedtomarrythousandsoftimes.Mindy:Really?Whoaskedyou?Madge:Mymotherandfather.（polysemy）29.WhatdidtheAtlanticOceansaytothePacificOcean?Nothing,theyjustwaved（polysemy）30.Constructioncompanyneedsamantodigholes---Groundlevelpositionavailable.（polysemy）31.Father:Whatshouldyoudowhenyouseeourflagwaving?littleboy:Waveback.（polysemy）32.Marykissedherauntgood-byebutherauntdidn'tkissherback.Why?Herauntkissedherface（polysemy）33.Nothjngcanmendabrokenheart．”Ahopelesswidowersaid．“Exceptrepairing，”Awidowanswered．（polysemy）34Thefarmerwhosepigwaskilledbyanautomobile，wasravingmad．“Don'tworry，”saidthemotorist，tryingtopacifybereavedowner,I’llreplaceyourpig．”“No。youcan't。”growledthefarmer．“youain'tfatenough．”（polysemy）35.Wehavecoursestomakegrowthmenyoungandyoungmengroan(homophones)36.Moneydoesn'tgrowontrees.Butitgrowsatourbranches.（polysemy）37.Abicyclecan'tstandonitsownbecauseitistwo-tyred.Abicyclecan'tstandonitsownbecauseit