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高二英语读后续写(5.21)一、阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。Atfirst,Surrelldidn'tseetheblacksmokeorflamesshootingfromthewindowsofhisneighbors'home.HeandhiswifewerejusthavingadinnerintheirownhouseinAllentown,Pennsylvania,whentheyheardsomeonescreaming,“Thehouseisonfire!”Hewenttoinvestigate.That'swhenhesawtwowomenandagirlcrazilyatalossontheirporch(走廊).Itwashisneighbor'shouse.“Thebaby'sinsidethere!”oneofthewomencried.Thoughthefiredepartmenthadbeencalled,Surrell,then64,instinctively(本能地)raninside.“Thebaby”was8-year-oldTiaraRoberts,whoalwayscalledhimUncleSurrell.Shewasthewoman'sgranddaughterandaplaymateofSurrell'sthreeyoungestkids,8,10,and12.TheothertwoontheporchwereTiara'sauntandcousin.Enteringtheburninghousewaslikerunninginto“abucketofblackpaint”.ThethicksmokecausedSurrelltowalkblindlyaround,burnedhiseyes,andmadeitimpossibleforhimtobreathe.Hefelthisthroatandlungsburned,andeveryblinkstung(蛰)hiseyes.Theconditionswouldhavebeenverydangerousforanyone,butforSurrell,whohaschronicobstructivepulmonarydisease(慢性阻塞性肺病)andwasinhospitaljusthalfayearago,theywerelife-risking.Afterafewminutesinthesmoke-filledhousesearchingbutinvain,heranoutsidetocatchhisbreath.“WhereisTiara?”heaskeddesperately.“Thesecondfloor,”herauntshoutedback.Surrellknewhecouldn'tholdhisbreathforlong.Soheutteredalittleprayer,“Well,God,thisisit.Yougottohelpme,becauseI'mnotcomingoutwithoutthatlittlegirl.”注意:1.所续写短文的词数应为150词左右;2.应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语;3.续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;4.续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Paragraph1:Takingadeephealth,hewentinasecondtime.____________________________________Paragraph2:Surrellwokeupinthehospitalacoupleofdayslater._______________________________【写作思路与分析】此题要求根据短文的情节,结合所提供的关键词语以及所续写段落的开头语来进行续写。短文续写可以遵循以下步骤:(一)文本分析本文叙述了Surrell不顾自己年老体弱,奋不顾身地冲进火海救护邻居小孩Tiara的故事。在阅读文本时,我们要带着when(havingadinner)、where(Surrell'sneighbor'shome,thesecondfloor,hospital)、who(Surrell,Tiara,Tiara'sGrandmotherandTiara'srelatives)、what(FirebrokeoutandTiarawastrappedonthesecondfloor)、why(Thehousewasonfireandthehousewasfullofheavysmoke,Tiara'sgrandmotherandherrelativeswerecrazilyataloss)、how(SurrelldashedintotheburninghousetosaveTiara)去理清文本的内容和故事情节的发展脉络。对于故事的进展,我们要聚焦how(故事情节的发展和故事人物的情感变化)。在梳理故事情节发展的脉络时,我们要把握住三条线索:时空线、故事情节线和情感发展线。时空线:atfirsthavingadinner,Tiara'sgrandmother'shouseonfire,thesecondfloor,hospital。故事情节线:①Surrell在家与妻子一起吃饭时,听到邻居因家里失火而发出的尖叫声。②Tiara的奶奶、姑姑和表姐(妹)站在家里的走廊上因害怕而不知所措。③Surrell不顾自己年老体弱(患有慢性阻塞性肺病),奋不顾身地冲进火海营救深陷火海地Tiara。④Tiara被成功营救了吗?Surrell和Tiara被烧伤了吗?Surrell在医院苏醒后康复得怎样?邻居们对他的英勇行为又是怎么评价?这些信息和内容是我们在下文续写中要交待的。情感发展线:Tiara奶奶和亲戚们对房子起火惊吓得手足无措,Surrell得知情况后奋不顾身地去救护Tiara,从没有救出Tiara时的焦躁和救出之后躺在医院的坦然。在这一环节,我们要聚焦原作者在文本中所使用人物的肢体语言、心理活动和脸部表情来描写人物的情感,表达人物的思想。我们尽可能仿效作者的写作的格调,遵循读后续写的协同原则来完成自己的故事续写。(二)下划线词和续写首句解读1.下划线词的解读已知文本中的10个下划线词为:Surrell,Tiara,uncle,smoke,burned,lungs,dangerous,hospital,outside,thesecondfloor。根据这10个下划线的词,我们可以进行粗略地分类,然后进行详细地分析:Characters人物类Surrell,TiaraTimeandplaces时空类hospital,outside,thesecondfloorPlotdevelopment故事情节发展类uncle,smoke,burned,lungs,dangerous①人物类中的“Surrell与Tiara”是本文主人公。故事情节的发展自始至终都是围绕着作者“Surrell”与Tiara之间展开,所以Surrell,Tiara都是必选词汇。Surrell与Tiara是邻居,Surrell对可爱、礼貌、乖巧的Tiara很是喜欢,于是不顾一切地冲进火海救护Tiara。Surrell在救护中受伤,Tiara和她的家人心存感恩,在医院一直守护Surrell,一直到他苏醒。这故事情节反映了邻里之间互爱互助,关系和谐的社区生活。②时空类中的hospital,outside和thesecondfloor是故事情节发展至高潮的必需地点。Surrell冲进火海,将Tiara抱出外面,可他自己却受伤送进医院抢救。因此,hospital,outside和thesecondfloor在续写故事中都可以定为必选词汇。③故事情节发展类中的uncle,smoke,burned,lungs,dangerous都是故事情节的发展与推进词汇,uncle称谓体现了Surrell与Tiara之间的亲密关系,smoke增添了Surrell救护Tiara的难度,burned交代了Surrell在救护中可能被烧伤某一人体部位,lungs是Surrell救护Tiara前身体不适部位,而他却在身体不适的情况下义无反顾地冲进火海救护Tina,体现了他的无畏和勇敢,dangerous是当时救护时的处境,但故事的发展可以通过其他形式的渲染,而不必直接点出危险的处境。因此,下划线uncle,smoke,burned,lungs等词都可以定为续写的必选或可选词汇。2.首句的解读从续写第二段首句Surrellwokeupinthehospitalacoupleofdayslater.可知,Surrell在救护Tiara过程中受伤住院了,结合续写第一段首句“Takingadeephealth,hewentinasecondtime.的提示,我们可以推断出,Surrell第一次冲进火海并没有将Tiara营救出来。他第二次营救是否会成功?Surrell受伤严重吗?Tiara烧伤了没有?Surrell受伤后大家会有什么反应呢?实施急救还是送往医院?这些内容都是我们需要在第一段续写中要交代的。从续写第二段首句Surrellwokeupinthehospitalacoupleofdayslater.信息中,“我们可以推断,Surrell伤得不轻。对于Surrell的伤情,Tiara一家会有什么感恩举措,尤其是被救的当事人Tiara?这些都是我们第二段续写中要交代的。(三)写作思路微技能之G—N策略根据语言学家JeanetteGundelean提出的Given-New策略,我们可以基于原文本和首句(Giveninformation)提供的信息,采用围绕中心词问一些相关问题,然后回答这些问题(Newinformation)的方法,拓展我们的思路和角度,最终形成合理的故事情节线。在第一段的续写中,围绕着两个段首句,我们可以尝试问这些问题:Q1:DidSurrellsucceedinsavingTiara?How?Q2:WhathadhappenedtoSurrell?AndwhataboutTiara?Q3:WhatmightbeTiara'sgrandmotherandherrelatives'reaction?然后进行详细地回答,我们就可以写出这样的一段文章:Takingadeepbreath,hewentinasecondtime.Thehousewasfullofsmoke.Heraninthedark,andfinallymadeittothesecondfloor.Hecouldhardlybreathe.“Tiara,whereareyou?”hecried.Allhecouldhearwasthesoundofburningwood.Thenascreamingcry,callingUncleSurrell,came.Hequicklycrawledtowardthesound.Finally,hetouchedsomething.ItwasTiara.Hepulledheronhisbackandsaid,“I'vegotyou.”Heranoutoftheburninghouse,buthefellonthegroundoftheporch在第2段的写作中,围绕段首句“Surrellwokeupinthehospitalacoupleofdayslater.”我们可以尝试问这些问题:Q1.WhatdidSurrellfindwhenhewokeup?Whatdidheask?Q2.WhatmightTiara/Tiara'sgrandmotherhavesaidanddoneinthehospitalwhenshe/theywenttovisitSurrell?Q
本文标题:高二英语续写
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